This was my response to a topic on a forum I belong to - Earth Based Spirituality
It certainly is a challenge to deal with rude and abusive persons, be they customers (in my case, patients), or co-workers. Or even a rude neighbor. I have always followed the "3 strikes" rule. If somebody crabs at me the first time, I give them the benefit of the doubt. We are all human, and we have all gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. If it happens a second time, I still don't say anything, but I do watch them. If it happens a third time, and if it is appropriate, I will speak up (positve assertiveness) and ask if there is something I have done to make them speak to me so rudely. 9 times out of 10, the person backs off, and we continue peacefully. But there will always be that last person who is an a-hole. And depending on the circumstances, I deal with them as little as possible. I don't respond to their negativity, I ask them to stop, and then I just walk away. I may say hello to them as our shift begins, but I don't really interact with them.I follow that line from Desiderata: "Avoid loud and aggresive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit."
If the person is a co-worker and steps over the line, I may choose to pursue a hostile work environment complaint with my manager and/or human resources.I may choose not to let their negativity affect me, but I won't tolerate continued rudeness, especially after I asked them to stop.Rude neighbors are a difficult bunch. In the inner city, where I live, asking them to stop a certain behavior (loud noise, trespassing, etc) can lead to them going out their way to step it up, just to annoy you. There are a lot of a-holes out there.
