Blogger's new rules.

 I have read Bloggers new rules regarding this here blog of mine and others.
I have no problem with them. 

I will address their rule about privacy.
In no post here do I post anybody's stuff like social security numbers or that kind of thing.

I do post Joan/Doris name because she has my name plastered all over her blog. And we have both been on television about her adoption.  She has been on television, in the newspapers, on many websites telling the tale of her adoption and has freely given out her name (both birth name and adopted name) in regards to her book Forbidden Family and her work on support for adoptees. She is therefore a public figure.

Back in November 2009 she published the first edition of her book Forbidden Family. She did change my name in the book to 'Brenda' - but she referenced an older magazine article that she written and it was published - and she used my real name. She left a footnote in her book that told readers where to see the article online and that led readers to my real name.

Because of that - and her actual lies about me in the book - I sent documentation of such to the publisher of her book. In May 2010, they agreed that she violated the contract she signed with them that the contents of the book were 'true and factual' - and I sent proof that she left a clue to my real name and then proceeded to lie about me. Because of those facts - her book was pulled from publication.

She has since published via amazon 2 or 3 subsequent editions of the book - she took out the footnote that led readers to my name, but kept the lies in.  AND changed details of events in both subsequent editions -- changing the 'truth' of things. Which when that is done - is actually LYING.

She also maintains a blog and she puts out my real name, pictures of my parents with their names. She also has in the past (I don't know if she still does) posts on many adoptee websites about her 'horrible adoption' and puts out my real name, along with other family members names.

Since the names Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel and mine - Ruth Sippel are all over the internet and sort of intertwined in her endless laments about her adoption - well, my blog is just an answer to her blog.

I have always been public with my identity because I have nothing to hide. 
Here is my facebook addy - https://www.facebook.com/RuthSippelPace
Come on over and see what I'm all about. I always welcome new facebook buddies -- except bigots. I have a pinned post right at the beginning of my facebook that explains it.
I don't tolerate haters or bigots. 

I don't identify my former best friend here on my blog - I refer her to as 'the exBFF' (ex Best Friend Forever). She doesn't have a blog. She doesn't plaster my name all over the place so I don't plaster her name all over the place.

My nickname for Joan/Doris -- The Nameless One comes from the 1980 movie The Awakening - an ancient Egyptian mummy is brought back to life. When her tomb is discovered, there is a curse inscribed on it: "Do not awaken the Nameless One. Do not let loose that evil upon the earth. For the Nameless One shall ever be alone." 

The Angry Stage of Healing

This meme showed up on my facebook just now. (October 15, 2026, 7am). And I had a facebook memory a few hours ago - a post I made more than 10 years ago that included a screen shot of the exBFF contacting my niece to lie about me - in it she said that she was 'concerned' because of my attention to the Nameless One's actions. She then said she was concerned about me accessing her health information at my job and she called my supervisor.

Fact: when my father died, I did not contact the exBFF - she read about it in the newspaper and called me the day after his funeral.
I told her how The Nameless One had arranged for her boyfriend to desecrate my father's funeral book with a disgusting message forged to represent my deceased mother's brothers (all of who were deceased themselves except for the last one, who at that moment in time was in Florida). The exBFF then proceeded to actually defend that and proceeded to trash my father to me on the phone - the day after his funeral. This was in January 2011.

November 2011, on a Friday night the exBFF calls me on the phone at 11pm leaving a message on my answering machine demanding to know why I took her off my facebook. (what? are we still in 6th grade? I'm a grown woman, I'll remove ANYbody from my facebook any damn time I feel like it).
She proceeded to call my house 5 more times during the night. I was awake (I worked the night shift and stayed up on my nights off). After the 6th call, I picked up the phone and told her I was contacting the phone company the following Monday and reporting her for harassment.

I was told in January 2012 in a meeting with my manager, that the exBFF had called my place of employment the following day after that night in November where she kept calling my house. That day being a Sunday, and she wheedled out of whoever answered - the name of my manager and then called my manager the next day (Monday).

She told my manager M. that I was printing out her medical records. My employer checked - they know every keystroke I did and they found NOTHING. Because I had done NOTHING.
During the meeting I was told - my employer waited until January to tell me of the accusation because they 'didn't want to ruin my holidays."

I told M. 'why the hell would I be printing out her medical records. I have known her since 1978. I know everything about her. I know why she comes here, what clinic she attends because she told me and I know all about her."

M. then told me that their computer techs had checked my computer access at KH and found me innocent and furthermore, the way I answered her questions - without violating HIPPA - showed I was innocent.

The screenshot I took of her message to my niece in the spring of 2012 showed she admitted to breaking the law by contacting my employer with lies after I threatened to report her to the phone company.

I then proceeded to write her a letter of intervention for her to stop her destructive behavior and to seek counseling. I did what the bestest of friends could ever do. What did I get in return? She took me to court, charging me with harassment - and even before the judge came into the courtroom, she was being disruptive, shouting, using foul language. My husband John and I were sitting quietly while she mouthed off to a bailiff and was ordered to leave. As she passed me, she said in a low voice that she was going to beat my ass. I immediately raised my hand to summon the bailiff. "Excuse me, she just threatened me." She proceeded to RUN out of the court room while the bailiffs chased her.

Later - an order of protection was handed down -- against ME - to stay away from her for a year. I had done nothing wrong - it was she who broke the law - but well whatever - the order of protection did what I had been trying to do for 7 years - get her OUT of my life.

In 2022, ten years later, she contacted me on instagram - wanting to be friends again. She missed me and John. She sent me her phone number. I called her and left a message - that I wanted nothing to do with her ever again.

A near 30 year friendship destroyed, I used my personal time and sick time from work to ensure HER safety and what did I get in return? Got shit on big time.

So yeah - I have healed -- but as the meme says - something will turn up out of the blue and bring back the memories and the anger.

But I have learned something.---  I will always help - that's how I am - I'm a helper. I will help someone who has a problem. I will help them by providing the resources they need to solve the problem. It will be up to them to avail themselves of those resources.
If they refuse to help themselves - I will cut them loose.

I went through HELL because of the Nameless One and the exBFF.
NEVER AGAIN.

I am retired now. I took away their favorite toy - calling my job to get me fired. I have peace and serenity now. I will allow NO ONE to interfere with my life and my serenity again.

oh by the way - The Nameless One is my nickname for Joan/Doris.

 

Accountability

 

Couldn't have said it better myself. A meme that says exactly what I want my exBFF to hear.

 

Happy Summer Solstice

Coloring page I did today for Litha, Summer Solstice - the first day of Summer in the Northern Hemisphere.

 

hate the disease, not the addict? BULLSHIT.

 

excuse my bluntness - but BULLSHIT.

hard to "love' someone when the addict, a once loved and trusted friend of more than 30 years, who took up drugs in their 40s (old enough and smart enough not to do that) - who you steered towards detox, gave encouragement to - turns around and tries to get you fired from your job. Trashes your father to you on the phone the day after his funeral, steals pain pills from your bathroom. Hauls you into court calling your intervention letter 'harassment', and threatens to 'beat your ass' in the courtroom! (witnessed by bailiffs, who threw her out).

I will help. But I will NOT be abused. (and yeah, that friendship is now dead -never to be revived).

sorry - NOT sorry.

She CHOSE to take the drugs. In her 40s. She was no damn stupid innocent kid. SHE CHOSE THAT LIFESTYLE AND MADE ME SUFFER. AND I'M SUPPOSED TO OKAY WITH THAT?

FUCK YA'LL WHO SAY LOVE THE ADDICT

Do your own damn inner work

THIS. I will help. I will guide you to the resources you need. But if you won't utilize those resources to change - I will not carry you. My life and my time is for me - not you.