Yep. Never got a thank you from the exBFF for using MY time - MY sick time from my job, which resulted in me running out of sick time and having to go to work when ‘I’ was sick -- I wasted MY time taking that ungrateful bitch to DETOX. Sitting with her overnight the night before making sure she was okay from her crack binge.
NOT ONE DAMN THANK YOU FROM HER.
JUST A FUCKING KICK IN THE TEETH.
And she says 10 years later, she misses me.
What she misses is what she can get out of me.
FUCK YOU FJM.

 

I never needed to hear excuses or reasons as to why Joan/Doris or the exBFF called my job - their actions spoke the truth about them - they wanted to destroy me and my life. 

Joan/Doris did it because she was and IS evil. 

The exBFF had been abusing me for several years. She had been sucking the life out of me, taking advantage of me, stealing from me, lying to me, trashing my father to me on the phone the day after he was buried, swearing at my relatives on facebook, calling me on the phone one night demanding to know why I kicked her off my facebook, leaving horrible insulting comments on facebook about my husband. And after all of that - she called my job to get me fired! 

Was it her or the drugs that made her do those things? I don’t know and I don’t care.

The deeds were done and cannot be undone. No apologies, excuses, justifications, or groveling could EVER make me want to have anything to do with her. 

some nice music

 

I do not accept being the bad guy because I stopped supporting someone who won't accept the consequences of their own bad choices in life.

 

All the years I 'gave a fuck' - I supported the exBFF - when she became a crime victim, I dropped everything, called in sick to my job to spend a couple nights at her apartment. 

I supported her when she got her face slashed by a pissed off wife, despite me knowing that she had been in the wrong by sending a perfumed thank you card to that wife's hubby. I didn't say anything, but as a wife, if some woman sends my hubby a PERFUMED card - uh, no, just NO! You just don't do that.
I did say when I saw her spray the perfume on the card, "Isn't G. married?" And F. says, "Not very happily."

I didn't say anything more, because I had said it before - YEARS before - that F. (the exBFF) needed to stop chasing married/attached men. Doesn't matter if they are 'happy' or not in their marriage/relationship - NO WOMAN HAS THE RIGHT TO STEP IN. 

I'm not condoning what the wife did in this situation - a crime is a crime - but F. brought it on herself. And she had prior experience in the matter - she had bedded a married man, and then subsequently had a fist fight with that wife. AND when the father of her child got out of jail, and moved in with F. and their child, 6 months later - he's cheating on F. F. was NOT happy that M. stepped into her territory - so why would she think that P. would be happy?

I also supported F. when she wanted to go to detox and asked for my help. I hand delivered her to detox, again using MY sick time from my job to do it. She went for counseling, and seemed to be gaining ground, but then backslid into the drugs again.

She came to my house and stole pain pills from me. She had her car in my name so she could get cheaper car insurance, but couldn't be adult enough to take care of the bill. Getting a money order, slapping a stamp on an envelope and mailing it in time. I didn't even have a car at the time - she would never take me grocery shopping. But stopped at my house one time - with a friend waiting in her car  - dropped the money off and ran before I could say - 'hey wait a minute! how about taking me downtown so I could deposit this in my checking account?' Nope. I had to take TWO BUSES to get downtown the next day to do it.

BUT the minute I spoke up - the minute I put up boundaries and insisted she adhere to those boundaries - I became the bad guy.

I sent her a letter of intervention - to get her to see she needed to get off the drugs, to stop getting her heart broken by chasing after men that were off limits. But she got 'offended' - blew up - ran downtown and fell onto her 'crime victim status' and crocodile tears and charged me with harassment because I dared bring up in my letter her face getting slashed. 

Yeah, I was now the bad guy. AFTER I said FUCK IT.

She is out of my life now. She did try to worm her way back into my life by contacting me on instagram saying she misses me, life is short, and blah blah blah. 

I sent the fucking bitch packing. And I have no regrets.

I am creating my own fairytale - troublemakers are not invited, and will be escorted out.

 

I choose peace over drama. Since retiring, I am at peace. I don't have to put up with cow-workers. And when I retired, I took away Joan/Doris' favorite toy - calling my job to get me fired. She started doing that in 1995 and when I retired in 2015, that put an end to it.

The last time she did it was in 2012. And also in 2012, the exBFF who was pissed at me because I sent her a letter of intervention, decided to also call my job.

Idiots. They didn't take something in consideration. That I was an excellent employee. Their lies resulted in only one thing: they made themselves look like assholes to my employer.

Those 2 can rot as far as I'm concerned. I have peace and serenity in my life and I will not put up troublemakers. The only drama I engage in these days is the occasional banter on facebook.

Drama really is not worth the trouble. I indulged in the drama in the past. It's not worth it. It really all is nothing but bullshit.

I am creating my own fairytale. I am busy landscaping my property. I am planting flowers and lilac trees, yew bushes, a back hedge of rosebushes and ivy. I already have a Buddha statue, and fairy-garden village pieces. Just have to clear places for them.

If The Nameless One (my label for Joan/Doris) and the exBFF don't have peace and serenity - it's not my problem. They have consistently chosen chaos over serenity. That is their right. But they don't have any right to bring their chaos into my life.

Nobody does.

Some people's allotment of chances ran out. Life is too short to waste on abusive people.

 

Just saw this on facebook, and had to put it here.

I gave both Joan/Doris and the exBFF chance after chance after chance to treat me right.

When the exBFF contacted me on instagram in March 2022, wanting to be friends with me again, she said "Life is too short."

Yeah. she went there. Tried to guilt ME into taking her abusive self back. This after she went into my bathroom and stole pain pills, left abusive posts on facebook about me and my husband,  called my job with lies to get me fired, took me to court over a letter of intervention that I sent to wake her drugged ass up, acted like an insane person in court (screaming, swearing) AND threatened to 'beat my ass' as she was leaving the courtroom (after being told by the bailiffs to either shut up or leave).

But hey! I'M supposed to be the one who should be reminded that 'life is short'? OH, what a manipulative ploy - make ME feel guilty for not wanting her in my life. Make ME feel guilty because I should 'forgive and forget' what she did to me and take her back.

Fuck that and fuck her.

I have peace and serenity in my life - I don't want or need in my life grown ass adult women who love to stir up drama and get into arguments and fistfights. She's 64 years old, and is still acting like a 10 year old. 

Someone else's stupid life choices are not your burden.

 

The exBFF chose to start taking drugs. She was in her 40’s. She was an adult. She knew the risks. Drugs and alcohol affect a person’s ability to make wise choices. It allows them to act stupid, behave like an idiot, act irresponsibly.

She asked me for help. I tried. I hand delivered her to detox at her request. She went into counseling. There was nothing more I could do - the rest of the work needed to be done by her.

She didn’t follow through. She backtracked into the drugs and the irresponsible behavior. I couldn’t do anything. I had already used MY sick time from my job to take care of her - and then when I was sick, with no sick time left, and went to work sick, where was her help for me?

Where was her help for me EVER?

Her father passed away the end of December 2002. I went to his funeral.
During 2003, my husband and I went thru the loss of SIX family members.
The middle and end of July 2003, my husband lost his grandfather, and a week later, his mother. The exBFF showed up at my mother in law’s funeral and was arguing loudly with my husband’s aunt.

A week later, my cousin died. Two weeks later, my ex-husband and still good friend died. Another two weeks go by and my brother died. Three weeks after that, my husband had open heart surgery, and a month later one of his cousins died.

WHAT HELP DID THE EXBFF GIVE ME?

Every time I turned around she’s leaving messages on my answering machine. “I miss my father.” okay, sure, I understand. BUT DID SHE EVER CALL TO COMFORT ME OR MY HUSBAND? - nope - not once!

Fast forward to January 2011 - now it’s MY father who passes away. I didn’t call her, she read about it in the newspaper. She calls me the day after his funeral and begins arguing with me over a parental decision he made in 1956. “He should never have given her (Joan/Doris) up for adoption.”

Debate me with that if you want -BUT NOT THE DAY AFTER WE BURIED HIM.

I WAS GRIEVING - IT WAS NOT THE TIME FOR IT.

But self-centered narcissists DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SOMEONE’S FEELINGS.

I had enough of her and wanted her out of my life. But she wouldn’t let me go, and kept her crap up until I was forced to send her a letter of intervention - telling her truths she didn’t want to hear.

She took one sentence of my letter, and ran down to the District Attorney’s office, turned on her crocodile tears, used her status of a crime victim to portray the wounded person and charged me with harassment.

When we appeared in court, she showed up dressed like a two bit HO. A once beautiful woman, who dressed pretty, now looked like a HO. (drugs affect decision making). She was swearing loudly and was told to leave - and as she passed me, she threatened to ‘kick my ass’ - I immediately raised my hand and summoned the bailiffs - “She just threatened me.”

She started to run - they grabbed her and tossed her out - and she was screaming like a crazy person. My husband and I were shocked! Later, at home, we cried. My husband said the next day, "I couldn't sleep - I kept seeing her dressed like that -- what the hell happened to her?"  --- DRUGS, that's what happened to her.

Back to the courtroom - the judge, who had not entered the court yet, was sympathetic to addicts. And gave ME the order to stay away from her! I had been trying to get away from her since 2005! And the judge puts the protection of order on me! So unfair, but hey! - it did the trick - it got her away from me.

Did she stay away from me? Well, yes, and no. I was free for 10 years. In March 2022, she contacts me on instagram, says she misses me and wants to friends again.

oh hell no -- I sent that little bitch packing. And I don’t feel one bit guilty for doing it.

I’ve had 10 years of peace without that bitch and Joan/Doris in my life. I won’t be backtracking. I have peace and serenity. I’m retired now, fixing up my house and gardens. I don’t want any bullshit in my life and I will toss any person who tries crap with me to the curb.

Her life is still a mess. Well, that’s HER life. SHE made her choices. I understand she was a victim of a violent crime and I do feel bad about that. But MY life should not be upset. I had done everything I could for her. I couldn’t and can’t take away her pain, if she chose to do drugs to take away the pain, and the drugs caused her to hurt other people - she needs to reconcile herself with that. However, blaming the drugs is still a cop-out. Because she made the conscious decision to take the drugs, knowing full well the dangers. I REFUSE TO BE THE VICTIM OF SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE CHOICES.

I make decisions and choices for MY LIFE. 

Coloring Projects for the Autumnal Equinox

Second Harvest - Mabon - First Day of Autumn - The Autumnal Equinox Coloring Fun

The first day of Autumn was last Saturday, September 23. In Pagan traditions, we call it Mabon, I didn’t really do anything to mark the Equinox. I’m still busy working in my gardens, getting things ready to plant my fall bulbs. So, to relax and do something for Mabon, I did some coloring. I did 3 coloring projects and it took me almost a week to do them. Between housework, yardwork, a visit to my chiropractor, and well, ‘life,’ yep, it took me this long to do them. 

This first one I did is a balsa wood coloring kit I got from Dollar Tree. It comes with 4 small color markers. I’m happy with the results, but I think overall, it’s too orange. When I go shopping again, I think I’ll pick up another one and color one of the pumpkins a light beige.

The next two are Mabon coloring pages from artist Amy Cesari. Amy is an excellant artist who publishes Pagan-oriented coloring pages, calendars, and planners. Her calendars and planners are also coloring books. I’ve purchased a few of her books. And every so often, Amy gives her customers ‘freebies’ to color. These two were her Mabon freebies for this year. Just google Amy Cesari to get to her website or find her on facebook.

This one is a word-seek puzzle. I enjoy these puzzles. Keeps me sharp. (along with Sudoku puzzles). 

As you can see, I haven’t done this one yet. I wanted to scan it so I would have it to print out to do again at a later date. I believe this came from a Word Seek puzzle book that I bought at Dollar Tree. I usually buy 2 or 3 in the spring at Ollie’s Discount Store. And I decided to share it with you. Just click on it, save to your computer to print out.

 

You can't be friends with someone who tried to destroy you in the past.

 

so true.

The exBFF took a shot at me and missed. She called my job in 2012 and said I was printing out her medical records.

First of all, my employee computer sign on information allowed me to access a PORTION OF THE CHART of the current patient(s) that I was assigned to. The portion that contained ONLY what I needed to use in my position as a PCA (Patient Care Associate, formerly called Nurse’s Aide). It contained places where I entered the patient’s vital signs, etc.
The chart was designed as a ‘check off list’ - it listed ALL the things that I would encounter as a PCA - like ‘linen change’ or ‘ambulate to bathroom’ ‘check restraints’ - and there were little boxes that you moved the cursor to and checked off.
There were spaces to write in the patient’s vital signs and intake and output - blood pressure, temperature, how much they drank, how much urine was in their foley or in the measuring cap in the toilet. There was no place that gave me any personal information on the patient - only their name, age, gender.

So right off the bat, my employer knew I was innocent. But they had to check out any allegation of violation of patient privacy. And they did. Hospital computer security protocols allowed them to TRACK EVERY KEYSTROKE I DID.

Human Resources also called me down to tell me what happened. Because they knew that I had been continuously accused of this computer tampering on and off since 1995 by Joan/Doris. And she did it again in 2012. And my employee knew she was lying as well. Again, because they could track every keystroke I did.

Yes, in 2012, I was attacked by both of them. Their accusations against me were found to be LIES. Lies designed to get me fired and destroy my life. I was paying a mortgage. My job was putting food on my table. Well, I don’t need to explain to you readers what losing a job would mean. And both the exBFF and Joan/Doris wanted that to happen to me. 

Their lies went nowhere because my employer knew that after 40 years on the job, I was a good, reliable worker. I retired in October 2015, with 43 years at the same employer. 43 years of dedicated, excellent work taking care of my patients, the hospital’s customers. I earned a pretty good pension too. I worked my ass off for that hospital from 1972 to 2015. It was hard, but rewarding work. And neither Joan/Doris or the exBFF could ever take that away from me, no matter how many lies they tried to sell.

Did either of them try to call my employer after 2012? I don’t know. Because I told them in Human Resources that if Joan/Doris or F. called again, I didn’t want to know about it. I told them “Investigate me if you want. I don’t care. I do my job. Somebody calls you with lies - I don’t want to know about it." And so, if any more lying calls were made about me, I wasn’t told. If any calls were made after I retired, I don’t know. All I know is that once I did retire - it seemed as though both Joan/Doris and the exBFF dropped off the earth! I had PEACE for the first time since the late 80’s when Joan/Doris started her crap with me.

So fast forward 10 years to March 2022 - when the exBFF contacts me on Instagram, saying she ‘misses’ me and wants to be my friend again.

I’d had 10 years of peace without that drugged-out whack job and now she wants back into my life? OH HELL NO.     

Your New PC - pussycat

I was going through some old files on a flashdrive and found this --- enjoy.
 (I don't know who the original author is.)

Your New PC (Pussy Cat)

Specifications:
Standard Input: Bilateral frontal whisker array
Bilateral adjustable audio dishes (range: 20-20,000Hz)
Stereoscopic scanning device w/night vision
Velcro(tm) flavor sampling device/energy collector Odor sampling devices (2)

Standard Output:
Internally mounted purrbox
Single speaker with separate growl mode
Rear-mounted, fully-jointed semaphore device

Processor:
Parallel neuron array with Random Access Memory and Autonomic control of system software

Included Hardware:
Calcium-based skeletal structure
Byte-to-bit conversion array
Retractable Document shredder/Hole-punch
Pawpad printer
Mouse (Standard Catnip)

Also included:
natural-fiber protective covering in various colors

System software:
your PC will come preloaded with one of the following:
DOS (DOmestic Shorthair)
OS (Other Shorthair)
DLH (DOmestic Longhair)
MS (MegaSoft, installed in units with fuzzy covering)
Conversion to Eunuchs can be done by a simple operation.
This is recommended to prevent the proliferation of cheap PC clones.

Bundled software:
May include the following:
Mortal Kombat
Acrobat
Explorer
Stuffit Expander
Your PC will automatically convert from laptop to desktop as needed. There are no user-servicable parts inside.

Operating your PC:
To start up your PC, push the power button (on any electric can opener)
Your PC has an energy-saving mode known as Sleep. Your PC will Sleep automatically if unused for a short period of time, or you may invoke
Sleep mode by placing your PC in a soft, warm area. To wake your PC from Sleep, you may press the power button as in Start, shake the mouse, or tap any of the PC's input devices (see specs).

To perform a warm boot:
Remove your shoe, then tap the PC gently with your toes.

To perform a cold boot:
Same technique as for warm boot, but leave your shoe on.

To reboot: Repeat the warm boot.

Cleaning your PC:
Use only mild soap and water, no solvents. Surface wash only. Total immersion is not recommended. If partial immersion is necessary, wear proper hand and face protection and make sure your PC is fully dry when finished.

Compatability and networking:
Your PC is designed to independently assess compatability with other PCs. Running Eunuchs will generally give your PC greater compatability with other PCs. It may be necessary to install a firewall between incompatable PCs as each may attempt to breach the other's security systems. Compatable PCs may share thermal energy and cleaning tasks and may network for gaming purposes.
>Please note that your PC will be incompatable with units of type BIRD and FISH unless appropriate security measures (such as a firewall) are installed. Your PC may tolerate one or more DOG units provided they occupy a subordinate position within the heirarchical structure.

Power requirements:
Alternating supply of canned cat food and dry cat food
Direct supply of water
Direct access to solar and thermal energy sources

Troubleshooting:
PC HAS DIFFICULTY EXITING:
Perform a warm boot.
PC SHARES FILES FROM DINNER/TABLE/PLATES WITHOUT PERMISSION:
Boot your PC prior to running food-related software.

PC HANGS UP PHONE DURING CONNECTION TO ISP:
Try invoking sleep mode prior to connecting to ISP. Otherwise, perform a warm boot.
PC IS FROZEN:
PC is probably scanning for small life forms. Reboot until it responds.

 

To my devoted readers who hide behind proxy URLs

 I want to say hello to my devoted readers.

The past few weeks the stats on this blog have been quite interesting. It seems I have several loyal readers from France and Singapore. (yeah right).

In the past, when my sister and I had our main blogs, we took every page of Joan/Doris’ lying book and refuted every lie she told about us and our family. And there were plenty of lies. And I had the proof of the lies.

One blatant lie - which she told in her book, she said that she had taken me court for harassment. And then I was given a one-year order of protection - that I had been ordered to stay away from her for one year.

Yes, we were in court. Yes, I was told by the judge to stay away from her. Yes it was in the form of an order of protection. No, it was not for one year, it was for six months. And I scanned the court document that clearly said ‘six months.’

Why did Joan/Doris lie about the duration of the document? Because that is what she does - she lies about EVERYTHING. It was such a stupid lie. And why bother to lie? She made her point, that she got an order of protection against me. (and one day, when I feel like it, I will tell on this new blog of mind, how I was railroaded in court and got that order of protection against me). So I ask again? Why bother to lie? Just fucking tell the damn truth.

Anyway, her book which was published by a ‘vanity press’ - that is you pay for the book to be published - has a standard contract that all their ‘authors’ sign - and if you are saying that your book is ‘true and factual’ and you sign that contract as such - well, you better be true and factual in what you put in that book. And Joan/Doris was not.

There were a ton of lies in her book, but I sent proof of only a smidgen of her lies to the publisher - and the proof I sent them? Copies of the actual court and police documents. AND, most importantly, a copy of the order of protection, with my signature, that clearly stated that the order of protection was for SIX MONTHS, not for one year. The result? The publisher’s legal team declared that Joan/Doris had violated the contract she signed and pulled her book from publication.

Words matter people. The words that come out of your mouth and what you write MATTER. Joan/Doris’ book came out in November 2009 and it was pulled from publication in May 2010. Joan/Doris found out the hard way that it is important to tell the truth.

There is no such thing as ‘alternate’ facts as Trump’s buddy Kellyanne Conway said once - facts are FACTS. Two plus two will always equal four, no matter how many times you say it equals five.

And the truth will come out ALL THE TIME.

Right now, our country is going through a crisis in democracy. I won’t go all in about it - only to say that there are some people, no matter how stupid a lie sounds, will always believe the lies. And we are seeing this in the way weak-minded people willingly believe garbage that comes out of Trump’s mouth. Even when those lies are proven false by other words that come out of his mouth or his actions make a liar out of him.

There are some people out there that will tell you that the sky is brown with bright red clouds - when it is clear that it is blue with white clouds. Taking in consideration they don’t have problems with their retinas and color perceptions of their brain - these people will NOT believe the truth even when it slaps them in the face. These people are called neurotics. They ‘know’ two plus two equals four, but they so desperately WANT it to equal five, they will keep saying the answer is five - over and over for years.

And this is the problem with Joan/Doris. She knows the truth of things, but desperately wants her reality to be something else. AND Joan is evil. She will do things to people who buck against her reality - even cause trouble, harass and stalk them.

Joan/Doris is full of anger - anger because she was given up for adoption after our mother died. She and other adoptees who are angry because they were given up for adoption like to call themselves ‘angry adoptees.’

These ‘angry adoptees’ are just like Trump’s brain-dead followers. No matter how many times they ‘see’ and ‘know’ two plus two equals four - they WANT two plus two to equal five. And they will fight you when you tell them it ain’t never gonna be five.

Joan/Doris hooked up with a bunch of these angry adoptees on various websites they had. And one day in February 2010, she was on one of their sites and told them to go to my original blog and harass me. I got around 200 (I forget the actual number) hits on my blog and many obscene comments.

The angry adoptees like to do this. I have seen many posts by them ‘rounding up the troops’ to go to various pro-adoption websites and spam them with nasty comments. Or when they see a newspaper article anywhere - that is pro-adoption, they put the call out to the troops to spam the newspaper or the author.

In this way, they are like the MAGAts - Donald Trump’s stupid brain-dead followers that think Trump is ‘god’ and when he tells them to do something - even when it is wrong - they willingly and blindly follow their leader and do crazy, stupid, and sometimes hateful things. Like storm the Capitol building.

One tactic the angry adoptees use when they spam websites and people they don’t agree with? They use proxy URLs. This way, their bullshit can’t be traced back to them.

How do I know this? One time, I saw Joan/Doris herself putting a message out on a message board about a website to spam and her saying ‘be sure to use one of our proxy URLs.’

Some of the proxy sites are of URLs from countries around the world. My original blog’s stats would register hits from several countries around the world. People who are too cowardly to show who they really are and hide behind fake names and fake webpages. They have no honor or integrity. 

This blog, has been registering devoted readers supposedly from Singapore, and France. I guarantee that the hits from Singapore and France are coming from proxy-fake URLs.

I don’t care. The purpose of this blog is for me to say what is on my mind, and to be read by people.

So use whatever way you want to get here and read. One thing you will NOT be able to do is leave a comment - because I know how the angry adoptees are - they will want to leave nasty comments - that’s all they know how to do. And I refuse to allow anyone to abuse me by leaving nasty stupid comments.

Don’t like that? Too bad. My blog, my rules. Dig or split.

Communications Officer Betty Cooper is monitoring all frequencies and keeping tabs on all you fakers.

Finished coloring page - having fun with Mickey, and with my ever-present watchdog, er bunny, Bugs.

 

Yesterday I posted about a new coloring book that I bought last week, ripped apart, and scanned the pages into my computer.
The book is called ‘Mickey and Friends Feelin’ Spooky,’ and is Halloween-themed.
So I just decided to color one. I chose this one - Mickey as a vampire.

 

 I don’t think I ever realized what big feet he has! I actually do have a small soft Vampire Mickey doll. I’m not sure if the feet are as exaggerated on it. I also have a larger (about a foot and a half tall) soft doll of Mickey as The Sorcerer’s Apprentice from the movie ‘Fantasia.’ I’m not sure about that one’s feet either. Both dolls are upstairs in my bedroom, and I’m downstairs in my computer room.

Mickey isn’t the only cartoon character I love - Bugs Bunny is another favorite - and I have Bugs looking over my shoulder all the time I’m working on my computer.

Having Fun with Coloring and Mickey

Having Fun with Coloring and Mickey

 I suppose my readers think that I am a sad sort of person, wallowing in self pity over the crap that Joan/Doris and the exBFF have done to me - well, that’s far from the truth.

Yes, this blog seems to be centered on those two whack jobs, and that’s because I’m getting things off my chest and putting out the truth of two miserable persons.

One of the things I like to do to unwind is color. When I’m coloring, I’m not only releasing the creative side of myself, I’m relaxing, and the coloring is a sort of meditation.

The past several years there has been a market for adult coloring books and I have a lot of them. From abstract themes, to nature themes, to historical themes. I have a few coloring books based on Ancient Egypt.

What I do when I get a new coloring book is rip it apart. Then I scan the individual pages into my computer. This way, I have the page to print out if I want to color it again. And while I’m scanning - I listen to some music.

By the way, I have ripped all my CDs onto an external hard drive. Most of my old cassette tapes and vinyl record albums have also been digitized into MP3 form. I am constantly amazed at the technology of this. One external hard drive, the size smaller than an old 8 track cartridge, contains more than 1,000 albums of music, audio books, guided meditations and self hypnosis sessions. All carefully backed up of course!

My hubby and I were shopping at Dollar Tree last week and I found a coloring book called “Mickey and Friends Feelin’ Spooky” coloring book. It’s that time of year to be Feelin’ Spooky. (never mind that as a paranormal investigator (ghost hunter) I get to be feelin’ spooky all year round).

Here’s a copy of the front cover if you want to know what to look for. Reconnect with Mickey - you can’t ever go wrong with him. 

copyright Disney corporation and Bendon corporation

 

 

 

 

Time out for fun - pretty 3D picture - click on pic to enlarge

  

Too late for apologies.

 

oh yeah. the exBFF contacts me on Instagram "oh how I miss you and John." and "Ruth and Fr*****e FOREVER." (followed by little cutesy-pie emoticons and flowers).

uh, nope, too late now bitch.

Notice to FJM, my exBFF -- (and Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel)

 

If you don’t have ‘peace’ in your life - if you are still in the bottle and still on crack.

If you are having problems coping with whatever -- THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM. 

You will NEVER be in my life again. After what you did - here’s a resounding FUCK YOU to you.

I have peace and serenity and neither you nor Joan/Doris will disrupt me again.

There were times I knew I was being 'played' by Joan and the exBFF. They think they pulled the wool over my eyes, but I knew... I knew.

 

This is so true.
As an empath, I have always ‘felt’ when I was being played. But there were times I wasn’t self-confident enough to speak up. Other times, I just didn’t want to deal with the hassle of telling grown ass adults how to behave.

I’ll give an example.

In 2005, I had 7 teeth pulled out and fitted with partial dentures. They gave me a prescription of 30 hydrocodone tablets. I used only 7 over the course of the following three days, then switched to extra strength Tylenol. I kept the remaining 23 tablets in case my husband and I had an emergency and wasn’t able to see a doctor right away - for example a broken tooth on a Friday night, or a sprained ankle after the doctor’s office was closed. Painful, but doesn’t warrant a trip to the ER. I kept the bottle on top of a small decorative cabinet in the kitchen in which I store my vitamins and health supplements.

During the following few months, the exBFF visited my house a few times. Each time, she picked up the bottle and asked for a few. Each time I explained to her they were for me and my husband in case of an EMERGENCY. She would put the bottle down and look at it longingly. One time she even said to me “Do you know what kind of buzz you get when you take these with beer?” I didn’t answer her. But I was uncomfortable. I didn’t like the way things were going. She was placing HER wanting to have a buzz over my and my husband's health choices.

A few weeks later, she phoned and wanted to come over. I said “sure!” When I hung up the phone, I took the bottle of hydrocodones, counted how many were in there, and put it in my bathroom. When she left after her visit - I immediately went into the bathroom and counted the pills. There were 20 pills. 3 of them were missing. Not only was she snooping in my things, but she stole from me. SHE STOLE FROM ME!

I never confronted her - but from that moment on - she was banned from my house. I never told her that - and I rarely returned her phone calls. She left messages on my answering machine - I rarely listened to them, when I saw they were from her phone number - I pushed ‘erase’ on the machine. 

I did take one phone call from her, I don’t know why. And as soon I said ‘hello’ she started with whatever she was on about. I don’t remember, but I do remember, I was pissed - and this time I spoke up. “Why is it when you call, you never start the conversation by asking how John or I are doing? Why is everything all about you?” I don’t remember what her reaction was, or what she said, or even what else I said. But I did get a call from her sometime after that and when I said ‘Hello,’ she made a point to say, “Hi Ruth, how are you? How’s John?” (So I'm her mother now?, teaching her how to have a polite phone conversation? what are we? 5 fucking years old or what?)

The next part of this story needs a bit of explanation. She had her car and the car insurance in my name so she could save money. So one afternoon, she called, and something told me - my empath’s intuition - to take the call. She was drunk! In the middle of the afternoon!

She was screaming about her boyfriend. Bitching and swearing about something he did. I don’t remember what he did, why she was pissed, but during her tirade, she blurted out that he had his car in her son’s name. Now it was my turn to be pissed! 

So, she has her boyfriend’s car in her son’s name. Her car is in my name. And she never would take me grocery shopping (I didn’t have a car at that time). She also would never be ‘adult’ enough to get a money order, put a stamp on an envelope and mail the payment out herself. Instead, she would drop the money off at my house - and I would have to take 2 buses to my credit union to put the money in my checking account, write out the check, put a stamp on the envelope and mail it out in time.

But I couldn’t say anything about all that to her that day on the phone - she was too drunk to comprehend anything I would have said. 

I waited a few days and phoned her. When I ascertained she was sober - I put my foot down. I told her that in light of what she told me in her last phone call, and the fact she never returned the courtesy to me of taking me shopping, or taking responsibilty to see the bill was paid by her - she had 30 days to get her car out of my name. I told her at the end of 30 days, I was going to cancel both the insurance and the car registration. I gave her no chance to argue - I hung up the phone. It was about a week later that she called to tell me that she took care of the car's paperwork and insurance. She was rather subdued when she talked. I didn't speak with her again until 2010 - 5 years later. 

We had run into each other in a store. I did go to her house and she admitted that because of her 'self-medicating' she had pushed away all her friends, me included. We had a good talk. I had hoped our friendship could continue. But 2 months later, she proved to me that it was not going to work. So I ended the friendship. The next two years she was down in a cesspool of drugs and other crap and began harassing me, and we ended up in court - described in other posts on this blog.

My empathic intuition has always let me know when things or people were ‘off.’ I didn’t always listen to it - but now I do. After our court case in 2012, I had no contact with her. I had wanted her out of my life and she was. I had 10 years of peace. Until March of 2022, when she contacted me on Instagram. "oh, how I miss you and John." (or did she miss our emergency supply of pain pills?).  Whatever. She gave me her phone number. Yeah, I called it. And I told her in no uncertain terms that I would never be friends with her again. NOT EVER. 

"Life is short" she said to me instagram. Yeah? Well she should have thought of that before she called my job with lies to get me fired. And left a horribly insulting message about my husband on facebook, or threatened to 'beat my ass' as she passed me in the court room. 

I love how she worded her instagram message: "oh, how I miss you and John." She may miss us, she may rue the days she mistreated us - but that's all on her - we don't want any part of her EVER. 

I may have lost a few skirmishes, but in the end - I have come out on top. NO one can hold me down.

 

I DO NOT FOOL AROUND - I GO RIGHT FOR THE JUGULAR

 

And I did. When The Nameless One (Joan/Doris) got one of her 'puppets' to go after me - he set up a blog to attack me and my oldest sister. And on it he decided to try to blackmail me. 

I had pressed harassment charges against The Nameless One, and he tried to bully and blackmail me into dropping the charges. He said he was going to expose my 'deep dark secret.' 

I answered him via a comment on his blog and told him that I do not respond to blackmail. And if he had something to tell about me, that he should go right ahead. Then I said the Buffalo Police and the District Attorney would be very interested in why this man, who never met me, never spoke with me, knows something about me and is threatening to expose it. (I still don't know what he was referring to). 

I went down to the DA's office the next day and added his name to case against The Nameless One- as an accessory. 

She threw him under the bus, and he apparently had his fill of the whole thing. Charges were dismissed - the charge was she had called my job again, but since I was investigated by my job and exonerated, I had suffered 'no harm.' Which is BS, but - there you go. 

Mr. B. M. found out real fast that I go right for the jugular.

See, as a Wiccan, I follow our one true commandment: Harm None, But Take No Shit

According to them, Joan/Doris and the exBFF 'never' did anything to me -- yeah, right.

 

Joan/Doris would always claim she never did anything. But in my old blog - I put up scanned documents that proved she did - like scans of the letters she sent to me, my husband, even my mother in law - all trashing me.

The exBFF after calling my job with lies to get me fired - and DENYING on facebook that she did - turned around and contacted my niece on facebook and admitted that she DID contact my job.

Both Joan/Doris and FJM are narcissists, trouble-makers, and liars. And that is why I want NOTHING to do with them EVER again.

They can never hurt me again, because I know my worth - I know myself enough to not 'devalue' myself. They tried to devalue me, and they are the ones who are worthless.

Psychopathic bullies - I've had 2 in my life: Joan Wheeler, aka Doris Sippel and my exBFF (FJM).

 

TRUTH. Both the exBFF (FJM) and The Nameless One (Doris/Joan are psychopathic bullies.

I don't compete with anyone - I just do what I do.

 

It means just was it says.

I have always been this way. I have never tried to compete with anyone. All I ever wanted to do in my life is simply be ME. And all the little things that make me ME.

But always, there have been people fucking with me. At school, at work, in my personal life. I'm the type of person who does not start trouble - but if someone starts shit with me - WATCH OUT! Because I will finish it. Most of the time when someone fucks with me - it's because they are jealous and envious of me. I don't know what I have they should be so jealous about. 

I had an unsettled childhood. My mom died when I was 3 years old. Leaving behind 4 small kids and 1 infant. My dad quickly married a woman who had 2 sons out of wedlock. It was a marriage of convenience - both needed partners to raise the kids. My youngest sister was an infant and given up for adoption. (I will not discuss that here - except to say that my father made a parental decision that he had every right to do - anybody who is not a Sippel family member can just shut the f up). 

Well, my stepmother had mental problems and incapable of taking care of us - so we were split up and moved around a lot - various relatives took us in (one or two at a time), some went to a foster home, some went to an orphanage. When I got out of the orphanage (age 8), I lived at home for a year, then went into the same foster home my 2 older sisters were at. 

After my stepmother died in 1964, my dad took on a second job, bought a house and gathered us together. My oldest sister, age 18, got married. The rest of us, my next oldest sister, my brother, and one stepbrother, moved into this house with my dad.

Because he worked 2 jobs, we were alone. 4 teenagers. If we wanted to eat, we learned to cook. If we wanted clean clothes, we did the laundry. In fact, we were assigned chores. My sister cooked dinners. I mostly did the laundry - and ironing. The boys did the garbage, and outdoor work - cutting the grass, shoveling snow. We all took turns doing the dishes. My dad left the house at 8am, didn't get home until after 9pm. 

I was 13. And from that time - I raised myself. I had no mother to teach me anything. Anything I know - about personal hygiene, to wearing clothes and makeup - I learned from books and magazines. 17 Magazine, then later Glamour and Cosmpolition magazines - books like Eileen Ford's Book of Model Beauty, The Beautiful People's Beauty Book, and even a beauty book by actress Sophia Loren. 

In high school, I was a bit of an ugly duckling, and was bullied by 'mean girls.' I was never asked out on a date or to a party, or to the prom. I didn't have a graduation party.

When I was almost 18 my dad met a nice lady who had 2 little girls. I liked them. My dad married her 2 months after my 18th birthday. This was the summer after I graduated from high school. My dad let me have the summer to enjoy myself, then pressured me to get a job. I had no job skills. I thought I would go to college - I was supposed to go but my dad said that now that he a wife and 2 new stepdaughters, he couldn't afford my college."Get a job" he said. Did I mention I had no job skills? 

I got a job as a front end cashier at a Walmart type store. Then my dad wanted me out of the house. Started a made up fight over the fact that I was drinking too much milk. I was giving him $15.00 a week for my 'room and board' - 'buy more milk' I said. He accused me of disrespecting his wife and her daughters. And basically threw me out. 

I got a room in a boarding house where my 2nd oldest sister was at. Our rooms were private, but we had to share the little kitchen and bathroom with 2 other tenants. After a couple of years, in 1972, I got a job as a nurse's aide in a hospital. I stayed at that job until I retired in 2016. 

Basically I emptied bedpans for a living. Not a nice job - but the pay was good, the benefits were good, I have a very good pension now. In 1974, I was able to afford a small 1 bedroom apartment a 20 minute walk from where I worked. 

I was 22 years old, and never out on a date. Until I ran into a former patient at the hospital. We went out a few times - he was nice, but it was a casual relationship. It didn't last. But then coincidentally, he met and began dating my cousin's stepdaughter, who was my age. When we found out about the connection, we all laughed. And she and my former 'boyfriend' set me up on a blind date (with my permission). He was a sweetheart and we clicked. Two months later we moved in together. Our relationship lasted 10 years. 

Beginning in the early 80's we tried  to have a baby. I was starting to see a fertility specialist. He wanted to go back to his home country of Yemen in 1985, when unknown to me, I did get pregnant. Right when we were breaking up! He left to go to his country  and I had miscarriage. I had to deal with it alone.

Meanwhile, I had, what I thought was great friendship with FJM. She was living with a nice man. I met them both in 1978. They broke up in 1983. Her ex and I stayed good friends. We had always gone out to see movies together - movies that we liked, but our partners weren't interested in. During the years 1978-1983, the 4 of us really enjoyed each other's company. But shit happens, doesn't it? 

Anyways, by 1986, he and I were both single, and our friendship deepened into a romance. My one aunt cautioned me that I could be going in on a rebound. I told him that, and we agreed to go slow. But a year later, we decided to move in together. We found a nice house to rent and moved in the summer of 1987. 

I'm not going to say everything was rosy. We both brought baggage from our previous relationships into the relationship. There were times I didn't think we were going to make it. But we loved each other and stuck it out. We married in 2002. As of this writing, May 22, 2023, we are still together, and very happy. 

We bought our house off our landlord in 1996. EVERYTHING in the house and about the house (taxes, mortgage, utilities, furniture, repairs like a new roof, etc) WERE PAID BY US - BY OUR BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS. - except for 3 instances due to his being laid off, my going on short term disability a couple of times - we got a couple of loans from my oldest sister, my father, (yes, him) and my brother in law. 

From January 1971 when I got my first job to when I retired in October 2016 - EVERYTHING I OWN, ALL MY GROCERIES - WERE PAID FOR BY MY BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS (and those of my husband and my previous significant other). Except for about 4-5 times due to me being out of work due to an illness or surgery - I NEVER RECEIVED A CENT FROM SOCIAL SERVICES. I got HEAP a bout 4-5 times during those times I was on short term disability. Which my paying taxes covered that anyway. 

And so as it happens in life - shit happens and yep - I got stuck with a couple of jealous bitches. My youngest sister (the one given up for adoption, and we reunited with her in 1974) - she and her husband swindled me out $700.00 in 1989. Because of that, my husband and I couldn't afford to fix our car. We were forced to take it off the road and rely on public transportation. 

I well remember some mornings, leaving work, my back and my feet aching, walking the 2 blocks to the Metro station, through snow and ice. I have a memory of getting to the corner of Washington and High streets, and almost falling on the ice, and my back was killing me. (my job as a nurse's aide included heavy lifting). My sister and her husband were driving a car - they were nice and warm in a car - but not me - I was paying off the damn credit card (plus interest) on the cash advance I had gotten - and gave to them - and they promised to repay me, but never did. 

As for FJM the exBFF (BFF-Best Friend Forever). yeah, I don't think she ever got over the fact that her ex-boyfriend and I got together AFTER she broke up with him. yeah, in the beginning, she pitched a bitch about it. Couldn't be adult about it. Couldn't be happy for me, her friend, who was heartbroken about the breakup with her first significant other (and going thru a miscarriage alone) - no, she forgot about all the times she CHEATED on him when he was her significant other - and was pissed solid that her ex and me got together. There was never any hanky-panky going on between my husband and me back when he was with her - but yeah, right away, that's where her mind went. She accused me of that on the phone. It took a few years, but we did rekindle our friendship and she seemed to have gotten past her anger and accepted our relationship. But I wonder........ 

Anyway, in 1996, she unfortunately became a crime victim. My husband and I (and others) came to support her unconditionally. However, she turned to drugs and became a different person. I tried to help her out. At her request in 2005, I hand delivered her to detox. She went in for counseling. Then a few months later, she calls me up, she's telling me what she learned in counseling - BUT - she began applying what she learned to -- ME. She wasn't learning and growing - because she was psychoanalyzing ME. 

I am a grown woman. And quite intelligent. I am aware that my unsettled childhood has affected me and why and how. I HAVE GONE TO COUNSELING IN THE PAST TO LEARN THINGS ABOUT MYSELF - I DON'T NEED ANYONE TO TELL ME ON THE PHONE WHAT MAKES ME TICK. Especially someone who is supposed to be applying what she learned -- to herself, not me. 

Outside of a few times that I have gotten drunk due to excess partying (yeah, in the 70's I was having fun - weekends at the bar or disco) -- by my late 20's I left all that behind. I had my fun, and grew up. I still drink occasionally. And I can still have adult fun. I HAVE NEVER DONE ANY DRUGS except for smoking weed now and then. 

Getting back to FJM and her psychoanalyzing me - I couldn't deal with her drug-induced nonsense, so I just ghosted her. But I ran into her in 2010. I thought our friendship could be saved, but 2 months later, it was clear it couldn't. I started ghosting her again. But now, her drugs made her - mentally deficient. She started leaving rambling nonsensical messages to me on facebook - both public and private. I was having a public facebook conversation with 4 of my cousins about my adopted out sister and she comes on and says "shut the f up - this is all bullshit." -- Excuse me? Is she part of the family? No. -- I unfriended her on facebook. But stupid me, I didn’t block her. 

When my father died January 2011, I did not call her to tell her. My relationship to my father was rocky and estranged and I will not discuss it here. Suffice it to say, that despite our rocky relationship, I grieved his passing. 

The day after his funeral FJM read about it in the paper and called me up. I was telling her of how my adopted out sister, to get revenge on my father for giving her for adoption, had a friend write a disgusting message in my father's funeral guest book. 

Instead of being angry about the desecration of my father's funeral book, she said "He should never have given her up for adoption." 

I was livid. She was not a member of my family - she had no right to criticize my father's parental decision that he made 3 years before she was even born. Especially criticizing him (trashing him) THE DAY AFTER HIS FUNERAL. I hung up the phone on her.

Her stupid nonsensical messages on facebook continued - there were a couple of long, long rambling private messages, which I deleted - unread. 

Then late one Saturday night in May 2012, she called my phone and left a message - "Why'd you take me off your facebook?" she demanded. She kept calling. I picked up the phone and told her to stop. That I was calling the phone company to report her. 

A few days later, she got hold of my manager at my job and told them I was violating federal patient privacy laws - that I was printing out her medical records. DUH, my job could track every keystroke on any computer I used at work. They knew I did no such thing. 

I sent FJM a letter of intervention - telling her to stop bothering me, to get the f off the drugs. I told her things she didn't want to hear. I told her to stop chasing after married/attached men - something she'd been doing since 1983. I asked her "has any one of them left their wife/lady to go to you? No? Then stop. Stop getting into fistfights with the wives" (yes, she did). 

She didn't like the truth told to her and went down and cried her crocodile tears (falling back on her crime victim status) and CHARGED ME WITH HARASSMENT. 

I did what a true friend is supposed to do - I TOLD HER THE TRUTH ABOUT HERSELF AND SHE COULDN'T FACE IT. 

So I got hauled into court. My husband and I were shocked! A once beautiful person - who made the Dean's list at Bryant and Stratton Business Institute - who used to dress beautifully and professionally - showed up to court looking like a two-bit HO. With silver necklaces piled up - like Mr. T.'s gold piled necklaces. She was arguing with her defense team because I had left a comment on facebook about the court date - which she answered by leaving a horribly insulting message about my husband. 

She was sitting with her defense team - she, a 54 year old white woman, was waving her arms around, making ghetto homey hand signs. Finally the guy raised his voice: "SHE (me) DID NOT CONTACT YOU. AND YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT THAT COMMENT ABOUT HER HUSBAND ON FACEBOOK!" 

She started yelling, the bailiffs came and told her to shut up or leave - She got up and stormed out, and when she passed me, she said in a low voice: "I will beat your ass." 

I immediately raised my hand to the bailiff: "Excuse me, she just threatened me." All hell broke loose. The bailiffs rushed over, they grabbed her, my husband stood up ready to defend my honor. A bailiff came over immediately to stop him. He was ready to take my husband down, but it wasn't necessary. He stopped and we watched the bailiffs grab FJM and drag her out of the courtroom. She was screaming like a crazy person. We were horrified at how she was behaving (and the way she was dressed). 

The next day, my husband told me "I couldn't sleep last night. I couldn't get that picture out of my head. They way she was dressed, her making those gang hand signs, her screaming. What happened to her?" (drugs, that’s what happened to her). 

My husband and I cried. Yes. Cried. I was sobbing. John had tears in his eyes. We were mourning the 'death' of a once beautiful woman - his one time significant other, my best friend - OUR friend - was no more. In her body was this irrational drug filled disgusting - I can't even come up with a noun or adjective to say what she is! 

But I do know this - why she targeted me - because she looks over at me and sees me -with a husband, a house, and is JEALOUS. 

I know this for a fact - because there were times she slipped and said things - like the time she found out she had an older sister that was given up for adoption and she found her - this woman, had a nice home, husband and kids. But for some reason, she didn't quite warm up to her. FJM wondered "is it because I'm part Arab, or on welfare? She's got a nice house. I have a nice apartment, but I don't have a nice husband with $$$" 

Oh that's another thing - MONEY. She views men as open wallets. And makes money judgments on people. She always criticized my husband, who after he got laid off in 1983, worked as an overnight stock clerk at a supermarket. "He has no ambition in life." Uh, he's like me, unskilled, but WORKED TO EARN HIS WAY IN LIFE. And now, we’re both retired, and enjoying the fruits of our labors - our social security and my pension - we are bringing in more than we made while working. The years we went without a car - we now have a nice minivan. A gorgeous Dodge Grand Caravan. In 2013, some ass side swiped me, shearing off one of the front wheels of the Voyager van that we inherited from my mother in law, and totaled it. It was the second time that poor van was smacked, and this time it couldn't be saved. We used the insurance settlement as a down payment on a new minivan that was only 2 years old. And we worked to make the payments. We WORKED for it. 

But FJM never wanted to work for anything. Oh, she would get a job here and there, but the jobs never lasted long. When she lost her last job, she always found an excuse for not getting hired. Or even applying for a job. But she could always find fault with my husband and his ‘lack of ambition.” HA! His ‘lack of ambition,’ his working at A JOB, along with me, has gotten us a good roof over our heads (mortgage cleared now) and a good vehicle (also completely paid off now). 

She always wanted a man who made 6 figures. But only hung around homies. And is still living in public housing. - I'm not making judgments, just relating the FACTS. 

So let me wrap up this very long post - by reiterating what the meme says:

I HAVE NEVER LIVED MY LIFE COMPETING WITH ANYONE ELSE.

I got off my ass and got a job. It was not glamorous, but it was rewarding. I am proud that I helped take care of sick people, to ease them in their time of need. 

If I needed something - I went and got it. I didn't ask anyone for it. One time, in 2005, I had 7 teeth pulled out. It was at Aspen Dental on Union Rd, near the old Holiday Showcase restaurant. I had no car at the time. I came out of the dental office and WALKED 20 minutes to the corner of Union and Genesee, and waited for the bus. My mouth was stuffed with gauze. I kept my hand over my mouth so others wouldn't see the gauze between my lips. I couldn't talk - but I could walk. I didn't call anyone for a ride - because I AM A SELF-SUFFICIENT WOMAN. oh by the way - speaking of teeth - my husband got his dental implants 2 years ago. We are paying off the loan. And when that loan is paid off, in 2 years - I will be getting my dental implants. Gosh, they’re expensive - more than our damn mortgage and van together! But because we WORKED OUR ASSES OFF OUR ENTIRE ADULT LIVES - we can handle it. 

In the past, there have also been several cow-workers at my job who tried to make things hard for me there too. They all fell by the wayside. They are like my younger adopted out sister and FJM - insignificant to me now. If by relating some things here makes it seem that I think I am better than them - yes, I guess it seems that way. But I'm just relating things about my life that I have done - because they needed to be done. And I have pointed out the ways that they have not done that - and instead of concentrating on their own lives, and improving their own lives, they decided to look over at me, be jealous, and instead of taking my example and improve their lives - they decided to do things to hamper my life. When I did no such thing to them. 

If they felt the need to compete with me - well, I guess they failed miserably. Because while they wallowed in their self-pity and anger, and jealousy of me and my 'good life' - I kept on going. I put one foot in front of the other - and kept going. There were times I needed a shoulder to cry on, yes. And I found help and support from a couple of family members. My one cousin N. in particular. Support I NEVER got from FJM or my younger sister. All I got from them was treated as a doormat - a thing to be used. Because I'm the type of person who will help others - while I was struggling - I tried to ease other people's struggles too. But then I got kicked in the teeth for it.

Not any more.