Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

Joan/Doris is old news, irrelevant, boring.

 a post I made on facebook earlier this evening.

 my facebook intro:

A few years ago, my sister Gert made a facebook page called "Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman's Struggle For Identity; a book study" -- it was to replace our old Wordpress blogs. The other day, Gert made the decision to delete the page, as we no longer have a use for it. I wrote the following post a little while ago.

Despite my finding the other day that about 6 months ago Joan/Doris got called out on facebook for busting up a marriage, the time has come to put her where she belongs: away from us.

The Notice:

Notice from Ruth Sippel Pace

this page is in the process of being deleted.

Joan Mary Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel is irrelevant.

When her book was published in 2009, we had blogs to refute every damn lie that was in her wretched book. Those blogs were taken down by a series of trumped up complaints by Joan and one of her cronies. Doesn't matter - because we accomplished what we set out to do: get that book pulled from publication.

In the book, Joan/Doris twisted several stories regarding me and her - specifically in our court proceedings about harassment. In the book she says this and that -- I submitted the actual court documents to the publisher of her book. They reviewed everything and pulled the book from publication. 

When Joan/Doris signed a contract with them, she stated her book was non-fiction and everything in it was true and factual. When I presented the proof that she lied about me in the book - the publisher's legal team ruled that she violated her contract. 

Years ago, Joan/Doris had 3 fantasies. 

1. that her book would be a million dollar best-seller

2. her book would be made into a blockbuster Hollywood movie

3. because of those two 'successes', she would be in demand as a top speaker at adoption conferences all over the world.

When her book was pulled from publication, all three of her fantasies came crashing down on her. 

Joan/Doris and others like her describe themselves as 'angry adoptees' - those that are so pissed that they were adopted they can't see reason - in regards to anything. When I had my main blog up and running, and I would relate an action of harassment by Joan/Doris against me (like stealing money from me) - her 'angry adoptee' friends would come running and leave obscene comments on my page, and accuse me of not respecting Joan/Doris. 

I countered - if a person steals from me, and I outed them, you would say "You go girl. Don't let them walk all over you." But if that person happens to be an adoptee, you think I'm wrong for NOT letting them walk all over me. This is what I mean that these angry adoptees can not and will not see reason. They were adopted. They were wronged. Therefore the world owes them everything. The world should not be angry at them when they misbehave. They think that anyone who disagrees with them should be treated like dirt. BULLSHIT. 

So all this happened more than 10 years ago. What has changed? The adoptees that DO see reason, that DO object to people treating others like dirt, have distanced themselves from Joan/Doris. 

She struggles to get any books published. I don't know what else she does as I don't care about her. She has been neutralized. She has actually finally done what I started to accomplish back in October 2009, in answering a comment she put out on a national news website about adoption. --That she refrains from putting out information about us, her birth sisters. 

I had repeatedly said all over the internet - all Joan/Doris has to say is, "I was given up for adoption when my mother died and my father had child care issues. When I turned 18, I was found by my older siblings. We had a nice reunion, but then things turned sour. I do not associate with my birth sisters. " And for the past few years, that is essentially what she has been doing - maybe not in those same words. 

I myself do have a blog via Google's Blogger, that I had intended to replace my main blog from Wordpress. I was thinking about copying and pasting old blogposts here and there, but frankly, since I've retired, I got better things to do. And so does Gert, who had started this page also as a replacement for her old Wordpress blog. 

I will continue to keep my Google Blooger blog, in case Joan/Doris starts her shit again. But really, there's nothing she can do to me now. In the past, she liked to call my job with lies - trying to get me fired. Ha.! I'm retired now, I took away her favorite toy. 

Joan/Doris is old news, irrelevant, boring. And as I said above, we did what we set out to do: get that book that was full of lies about me pulled from publication. She did make two more editions of it, changing things around - making two more versions of 'the truth' - and how can there be more versions of a truth? I'm not talking about personal perceptions, but actual FACTS. She can't say she had an order of protection against me for the duration of one year, when the actual court document reads SIX MONTHS.

Facts are facts. Lies are Lies. She got caught in her lies, and the publisher saw the lies, and saw the factual court document and pulled the book. 

So, she self-published it and hawks it on amazon. She's not making any millions from it. Not many people are buying it. And those that do - if they can't see beyond the crap she wrote about me - her own admission to being a child abuser and an alcoholic, and a bar-hopping tramp - well if they like that kind of story-telling, they are as bad as she is. 

And with that, Gert and I bid you all a fond farewell.

We have peace and joy in our lives. I doubt that Joan/Doris does. We don't really care. And we hope anyone reading this has peace and joy in your lives as well.

Live Long and Prosper.

ps    oh, by the way, in deleting stuff from the facebook page, I came across this post that I made in 2015.

It is interesting that the other day, a troll came here and tried to shut us up. But on her own facebook page she put up a meme and left this comment: "Never let people bully you into not telling your story."
But that was exactly what that troll was trying to do to us - BULLY us into silence. And while the troll was busy admonishing us and telling us to behave, the troll stooped to calling us names. (how childish).

I did engage in a conversation with the troll - but will not do so in the future. All trolls will be dealt with swiftly. If you want to engage in an adult conversation, fine, but bullying and name-calling will not be tolerated.

Getting back to the present: in regards to bullying trolls -- this is exactly why comments have been turned off on this blog that you are reading now.

I don't have to take anyone's shit. 


Tuesday, August 27, 2019

About the recent coward comments I received on this blog.



No comments will be accepted that do not have names attached to them. If you can't put your name to what you say -- why should I post them, let alone read them? Comments show up in my email. If I see at the beginning of the email "Comment by 'unknown' -- I simply check off the box 'delete' and it's done. The body of the comment isn't even read. Don't like that? Too bad. I am under NO obligation to read or publish anything. 

I did read the first cowardly comment that I received yesterday, and answered it in this post:

An attack by a COWARD -- trying to tell me that I'm a liar.


After I composed and posted that, I went back to my email, deleted that abusive comment, and deleted a second comment that they wrote -- and it was deleted UNREAD. And a third one, signed "Typical" was deleted, UNREAD. Again, I am under NO obligation to read or publish crap sent to me.

If you believe your words, if you are passionate about what you have to say, your position on something, there is no need to hide. If you lack the courage to speak plainly and intelligently don't even waste my time. Because you've already made up your mind and I've heard it all before. From angry adoptees who want to shove their opinions down mine and everyone else's throats. With no thought of all of any kind of debate. With TYPICAL 'angry adoptees' it's 'their way or no way.' -- And I'm not even talking about the whys or causes or abuses of the institution of adoption. I am well aware of legitimate concerns of adoptees, their separation from their birth family, loss of identity, falsified birth certificates, etc. This blog has nothing to do with any of that. And don't even bother to lecture me to 'get educated.' I did all that - I researched it, I got educated way back in the 70's.

Any person coming here to lecture me about my relationship with Joan/Doris and to leave abusive comments are only proving my point in post "https://ladymoondancersrealm.blogspot.com/2019/08/suffering-from-post-adoption-wounds.html" wherein I say: "Someone lies to you, steals from you - you have every right to tell that person to go away -- but, some adoptees think you have to put up with that crap. Simply because they were 'adopted' as if it's some kind of badge. "Here, I got this 'adoptee badge' that gives me the right to walk all over you." Oh hell no baby. You lie to me, steal from me, treat me like crap -- I don't give a shit if you're adopted or not, you will be served your walking papers. Being an adoptee and having 'wounds' does not give one the right to step on and abuse other people."

I always got a laugh at the hypocrisy of these TYPICAL 'angry adoptees' when I would read their blogs, comments, on the internet about them standing up for themselves and not allowing anyone to abuse them. But they reserve the right to abuse others, and seem to feel that others MUST take that abuse simply because the abuser IS an adoptee.

If I were to make a blogpost about a person who is not related to me, let's call her 'Susie Smith.' Susie is an acquaintance, and comes to my house with a friend of mine. Susie goes to my bathroom and steals some of my makeup. Then a few days later she is telling people crap about me. I have every right to call Susie out on her abusive behavior -- and people would applaud me for it. "Way to go Ruth, don't take crap from her. Don't allow anyone to walk over you."

Now let's change the scenario. Susie is actually my birth sister, who was adopted out of our family, but we were reunited and she was welcomed by me with open arms and heart. And Susie goes into my bathroom and steals some makeup and then goes around talking shit about me. According to these TYPICAL 'angry adoptees' things have changed. I'm now supposed to shut my mouth and accept this person walking all over me. Not a chance baby. -- and if you are coming to this blog with that kind of crap in your head -- you've proven my point that I put forth in my blog post. And no amount of arguing with me is going to make me accept someone treating me like a doormat. I will NOT allow Joan/Doris to treat me like a doormat, simply because she was adopted, and I will NOT allow people coming to this blog and writing idiotic comments to treat me like a doormat. Don't like that? Too bad. Go Away if you don't like what's written here.








Monday, August 26, 2019

Abusers are just as good at grooming allies as they are at grooming victims



This meme came across my facebook  - I experienced this on my old blog, and now today with the attacking comments from someone who was too cowardly to even leave their name.

Yes, I was harassed and abused by Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel -- and she is very clever and manipulative in twisting things around and making her adoptee buddies and others believe that she was the victim.

My old blog was attacked one day in February 2010 -- because Joan/Doris told them to spam my blog. In one day, I got around 120 hits, and several spam comments, some with obscene language. And I mean really repulsive obscene language.

Now I have sworn on this blog and on my old blog -- but I have that right. Because it's MY blog. But when someone comes and says "You're a fucking whore." on a comment to a blog post -- well, who's the abuser? Me, who wrote a blog post, or someone just spouting insults. Just like the cowardly person who left a comment today calling me a liar.


On my old blog, I called such 'allies' of Joan's 'puppets.' Because that's just what they are: Puppets. They do Joan/Doris' bidding. They have no brains of their own. One such puppet was a boyfriend of Joan/Doris, leaving comments as "Champ" -- get it? - Joan/Doris' Champion??? lol

He proceeded to tell me of my character faults -- and brought up a fight I had with an Arab lady whose name started with 'S.' -- now keep in mind, I never met this Champ face-to-face, never spoke to him face-to-face in real life or online -- but he's throwing in my face a fight I had with S. A. This was in 2011 and 2012 that's he yakking about the fight. 

Folks, that fight occurred in September 1979.

Now how did Champ find out about a fight I had in Lackwanna, NY in 1979? S.A. didn't tell him - she moved out of state 30 years ago. And besides, in 1984, we had sat down and hashed out our grievances. In 1985, she was so sweet -- she sent me a card when I was in the hospital when I had a miscarriage. When I got home, she called me, offering to send home-cooked meals in tupperwares for me.

So who told Champ about the fight of 1979? -- Joan/Doris did. And she groomed him into trying to abuse me. She groomed him to be her puppet. And puppet that he was, he listened to 35 year old gossip - simply because his Puppet Master, Joan/Doris filled his head up with shit.

Champ, who finally revealed himself to be one Brian M. left a comment saying he was going to reveal to the world my deep dark secret. Hmmm.

So I answered him that I do not respond to emotional or any kind of blackmail and that he should go ahead and reveal it. BUT the Buffalo Police and the Erie County District Attorney would be very interested in why a man who never met me, never spoke to me, is going to reveal my 'deep dark secret'  -- I was also in the middle of an harassment case in court against Joan/Doris for her call to my job in 2012 with a lie trying to get me fired. I immediately went downtown and showed the screenshots of Champ/Brian's threat and wanted to add him to the harassment case because he was acting on Joan/Doris' behalf.

In court, Joan/Doris denied she said anything to Champ/Brian. (yeah, right). She threw her puppet under the bus. The charges of harassment were dismissed, because even though Joan/Doris admitted on the stand that she called my job AND bragged about it on Huffington Post (because my lawyer presented the screenshot of it) -- I hadn't suffered anything on my job. My employers did investigate me (without my knowing it) for a few months in late 2012. The first I heard about it was mid-January 2013 -- they did not want to tell me about it because they didn't want my holidays to be ruined.  I did go to a meeting in Human Resources, where they told me of the phone calls they received by Joan/Doris and her accusations, and they said they investigated me (because that was necessary), but they exonerated me -- they found NO impropriety in my behavior, computer usage, or job performance.

As for that puppet Champ/Brian -- I never heard another word from him. He found out that I don't play, and Joan/Doris threw him under the bus.

And I still haven't a clue as to what my 'deep dark secret' is. lol
Puppets are just that - PUPPETS. Joan/Doris loves her puppets. Until the shit hits the fan and then she dumps them.

Joan/Doris is an awful lot like Trump in that.

An attack by a COWARD -- trying to tell me that I'm a liar.


especially when that 'lecture' is posted by someone who was too COWARDLY to leave their name. 

sooo -- some COWARD left a comment to my last post -- I will not publish it -- but this person dared to call ME a liar -- this person obviously went to my facebook page to gather  
information. And accused me of lying when I say that my husband was a Navy Seal in Vietnam. I would publish my husbands DT214 form online except that it contains personal information. Why would I lie on facebook about something like that? My husband's brother and other immediate and extended family members (and in-laws of my brother in law) are friends of mine on facebook. AND three members of that family (my brother in law's inlaws) worked with me at my job -- one from the late 70's. You think that if I lied about my husband that any one of them wouldn't say "What the fuck Ruth?" oh my stars! how fucking stupid can one COWARDLY person be?

Perhaps this person is a filthy dirty racist and can't conceive that a black man was in the Special Forces.

Well, Mr. or Madam COWARD who can't even leave their name -- you accuse me of heaping abuse on my estranged sister -- why don't you ask her of the $700.00 she stole from me? Or the beads she swiped off my mother's wedding dress (that belonged to me) or the false police reports she made against me, or the many phone calls she made to my employer in 1994-95 with lies to get me fired, and again in 2012? In 2012 she even bragged about doing that on the Huffington Post.


Or the time she called child abuse on herself? Yes - she did. She called Child Protective Services, gave MY name as the caller, and proceeded to accuse MY fiance as the person abusing her children.


Really, I'm going to call Child Protective Services, give them my name and name my own fiance as a child molestor. Give me a break.


My old blog had scans of the actual police and court documents about that -- that proved that Joan Wheeler, now known as Doris Sippel, lied to police, the courts about me.


I also scanned handwritten and typed letters (with their envelopes) that Joan Wheeler wrote to my future mother in law telling her garbage about me. AND notes to my fiance (now husband) that he should break up with me.


AND I also scanned a letter that Joan/Doris sent to me stating that my fiance had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant -- when the house was vacant.


I tell you now Mr. or Madam COWARD -- you are an excellent example of what my last post was about -- you think that because you are adopted (I assume you are because you sound like one of Joan/Doris' abusive adoptee buddies) that you can heap abuses on other people and try to get away with it because you wear your sad story of adoption as a badge.


AND furthermore, if an adoptee is proved to be a liar or an abusive person, other wacko adoptees get on board and refuse to admit it. Again, they think that a fellow adoptee HAS that 'I'm an adoptee, so I can abuse people and get away with it" badge.

I say 'wacko' adoptees, because any person who is shown an actual police or court document proving that one adopteed LIED and they refuse to believe it -- they ARE wacko. And from late 2009, when I started my old blog, up to today, when an adoptee comes online and starts to tell me that I'm the liar when they refuse to see the factual truth for themselves, I simply have to just label them as 'wacko.'

Come forth COWARD  - don't be scared to share your name. What are you ashamed of? A hit and run attack with no name attached is BULLSHIT and you therefore are shit.

No never mind -- don't even bother to come forth. Your words are shit -- just like you.


Sunday, August 25, 2019

Suffering from Post-Adoption Wounds doesn't give you the right to abuse others. There is no "I'm an Adoptee so I can treat you like shit and get away with it" Badge.


So this came across my facebook newsfeed: "Relinquishment and Adoption: Understanding the Impact of an Early Psychological Wound" (video) - link provided below

ok, I get it, they've been wounded. I may not be able to understand completely, because I didn't experience it. But I've tried to understand, I did my 'homework' -- I did my research into this way back in the 70's.

What I don't get - is the need for some adoptees to be so damn nasty. Having experienced over 35 years of being the main target of hate and harassment from an adoptee I gotta say -- that turns people off from any kind of 'understanding.' It was not MY fault she was adopted and I was not adopted out. -- I was only 3 years old when it happened -- I had no say in it - yet Doris Sippel (formerly known as Joan Wheeler) wants to punish me for her 'wounds.' -- and further refuse to accept responsibility for her actions that caused our reunion to blow up.Someone lies to you, steals from you - you have every right to tell that person to go away -- but, some adoptees think you have to put up with that crap. Simply because they were 'adopted' as if it's some kind of badge. "Here, I got this 'adoptee badge' that gives me the right to walk all over you."

Oh hell no baby. You lie to me, steal from me, treat me like crap -- I don't give a shit if you're adopted or not, you will be served your walking papers.
Being an adoptee and having 'wounds' does not give one the right to step on and abuse other people.

Just as no one who has experienced any kind of abuse at the hands of one person has the right to abuse another, totally innocent person.
You got 'wounds?' Get counseling, and DO NOT turn around and inflict wounds on other people.



Tuesday, November 20, 2018

archival blog post from January 2011 - a letter sent to Joan/Doris' therapist, and detailing the events and actions of Joan/Doris after the death of my father.

November 20, 2018 -- this is an archive of a blog post from my old blog from January 2011 -- it is of a (long) letter I sent to Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel's therapist who crossed the professional line of reviewing a book written by one of her patients.
It contains 3 blog posts from January 2011, detailing the events and actions of Joan/Doris after the death of my father.

January 18, 2011
Nicole S. Urdang
650 Ave
Buffalo, New York 14222 

My name is Ruth Sippel Pace. I am the birth sister of Joan Wheeler, author of the book Forbidden Family, of which you wrote a review of and placed on Amazon.com. I cannot believe any person of your occupation could think a book like that is anything but garbage. 

I don’t know how you are acquainted with Joan Wheeler, and I really don’t care. Whether you are involved with her on a personal note or a professional note, you need to be aware of Joan’s actions towards her entire family. Her behavior is psychotic, anti-social and borders on criminal, indeed, she HAS crossed the line and HAS committed criminal acts. They are not enough for law enforcement to act on, but as we have seen time after time, these people keep on with their sick behaviors until we have an incident comparable to what happened in Tucson, Arizona on January 8, 2011. In 1998, Joan Wheeler was asking around for a “hitman” to “take her (me) out.” Because of this death threat, I took her to Family Court and was granted a one-year order of protection against her. Now Joan has hooked up with someone, and I am concerned. Joan also has posted on her website hate statements against me and my sisters. These statements are also indicative of coming from a psychotic mind and are a cause of concern.  

Joan in the past has tried to ruin my life. Due to an innocent typing mistake, her hospital bill got mixed up with another patient’s bill in 1994. Joan immediately accused me of hacking into my employer’s computer to tamper with her bill. She sent a complaint to my employer. They investigated it, and told Joan that not only did they trace it to a typing mistake, but that it was impossible for me to do it, as the computers on the nursing station are not connected to the billing computers. Joan wasn’t going to have it. For the next six months, almost every day, she placed calls to the hospital telling everyone that I was a thief, a computer hacker, and should be fired. I work the 11pm – 7am shift, and was never told about this. I found out about it six months later. When I questioned a secretary in the nursing office, I was told that there had been a meeting by hospital administration that they were to hang up when Joan called and not to tell me. Yes, Buffalo General Hospital Administration protected me. Joan then tried to break my husband and me up by sending me a letter telling me that he got the next door neighbor pregnant. And they had a daughter. The only two babies born to women in that house from 1987 (when we moved there) – 2005 (when it was torn down), were boys. And Joan did much much more to me. I did try to take her to court for harassment in 1995, but the judge dismissed it, saying sisters should get along.” Would that that statement could be true. In Joan’s garbage book, she completely turns the story around, saying that it was she who took me to court and describes scenes that could only come from a sick person’s deluded fantasies. 

Your review of her book Forbidden Family is in itself a work of garbage. You are a professional therapist and do not see within the pages of that book a chronicle of a person losing their mind? Did you not even catch contradictions from one page to another, indeed even in one sentence?  

Even on her website she is full of contradictory statements and behaviors. For example on this page: http://forbiddenfamily.net/2009/12/10/angry-adoptee-rant1/, she gives out our full names. And later down the page, she says she doesn’t want us to view her website. Her website is supposed to be adoption reform, yet she has the hate statement against us. And does not see that if she puts our names there, we then have the right to see what is written about us.   *note, this is from Joan's old blog, and like my old blog, is not accessible.
My sisters and I have started a blog called Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family http://ruthsippelpace.wordpress.com/ I invite you to read it. It is not pretty. But Joan’s book is not pretty. How can someone write such garbage? And you, a professional, think this book is good? What is your professional opinion of what she says on page 163 about the condition of my mother’s body at the moment of her death? Joan claims that my father related this disgusting scene to her. This is a post I had made on my blog in October 2010:  

On page 163, Joan goes into a completely disgusting and unnecessary description of my mother’s death. So I guess my father decided to tell her of my mom’s death. I heard the same story from my dad – EXCEPT this part: “She opened her eyes, looked up in front of her, took in a deep breath, closed her eyes, exhaled, and she was gone. Immediately, there was a terrible stench of rotten flesh. The doctors told me later that her sides had split open; that even the bandages didn’t hold it in, and all of her that had been dying, fell out.” 

What the hell?!! Let me say that although I am not a doctor, I have worked for 38 years in a hospital and what Joan relates here may certainly be plausible, it is highly unlikely. First, my mother did NOT die of kidney cancer – it was UTERINE CANCER. The immediate cause of death, was kidney failure, but that’s because her organs had started to fail, and her kidneys were the organs to go first. On the bottom of Page 162, to the top of page 163, she has my father saying that the cancer had spread all over her body. This is called metastasis Joan, the “medical expert” that she is, does not mention this important word. Second, when they did the exploratory surgery in January 1956, and suspecting UTERINE CANCER, they would have made an incision in the lower abdomen. If they suspected kidney cancer, incisions would have been made in the lumbar/sacral area of her back. If my mother was indeed 89 pounds at the time of her death, then she obviously was not given fluid pushes,which would bloat the body. Now as to the “description” that my father supposedly told Joan, unfortunately, yes, this could have happened. But her sides splitting open to the point the bandages would not hold her insides in? This sentance is highly suspect – she would not have incisions along her sides – and unless she was bloated with fluid pushes, her sides would not have split open. And for a doctor to be telling my father this AFTER the fact – no, a doctor would not have said this. Doctors have compassion, they would not tell a man who just lost his wife these gory details. – I know- I work in a hospital – in several different areas – 4 years in the Medical Intensive Care Unit, (I’ve seen some gory stuff there), 5 years in the Hospice Unit, (I’ve witnessed many deaths in front of my eyes, I know what the smells are), and right now on the renal KIDNEY floor – and work with KIDNEY transplants and see just where their dam incisions are. And they are NOT on their sides! Joan – stop watching so much CSI and Forensic Files!  

Also again and again in the book Joan alleges that I, Ruth Pace have a criminal record, having been arrested and placed on probation. This is slander and libel. I have never been arrested in my life. Joan is alluding to the 1993 event wherein she filed a complaint against me for annoyance phone calls made in June 1993, and she received a six-month order of protection against me, the dates being from August 9, 1993 to February 9, 1994. In the book she says she signed the complaint in February 1993, and the Order of Protection was for one year, and I was also sentenced to probation. On my blog, I have provided the scanned copies of actual court documents that have Joan signing the complaint on July 19, 1993, and that I was NOT placed on probation.  

As a professional, before you put your name to recommending a product or a book, you are responsible for doing research to see if that product or book is the “genuine article.” Since you did not ask me for verification of statements that Joan put forth about me in the book, you obviously do not care about the truth. And as you are a “professional” therapist, the truth should be your primary concern. 

On January 11, 2011, my father died and Joan and her new companion were involved in the desecration of my father’s guest book in the funeral home. I invite you to read the following 3 blog posts that have been posted for legal and personal reasons: 

1.
THIS IS A FORMAL NOTICE FOR LEGAL PURPOSES AGAINST JOAN M. WHEELER AND RUSSELL D. THOMAS OF WILSON NY (he made himself public by signing this on a separate page in the guest book January 16, 2011

Posted by Ruth

My father, wrote his own obituary and death notice for the newspaper. 

Joan M. Wheeler took it upon herself to self-publish a new death notice on January 16 in the Buffalo News. 

Joan is NOT a legal daughter, nor beloved daughter to Leonard Sippel. 

She is scam artist and elder abuser. she is gold-digger. In 1989-1990, she scammed me and stole hundreds of dollars from me. She slanders and libels me in her book and on the internet and in person.

She insulted my father two years ago and he physically had to remove her from his house. On or about November 15, 2010, my father told me “I am done with her. I don’t want to see her.” 

On January 3, 2011, he was admitted to Millard Fillmore Suburban Hospital with pneumonia. On January 4, 2011, Joan entered my father’s unlocked apartment, (open to admit Meals on Wheels) and with her stocky boyfriend, got information out of my elderly stepmother who is frail and on permenant oxygen. then Joan and her boyfreind went to the hospital to harass my father. Supposedly Joan apologized to him and Joan’s boyfriend “thinks” (his words to me in an email) that my father forgave Joan. then the boyfreind says “if he didn’t forgive her, that’s his problem.”

My father, 86 years old, in a weakened state, should not have to “forgive” anyone. He was days from his death and Joan brings her guilty conscience to a weak and dying man. Because of this despiscable abuse of a sick and elderly person, Joan Wheeler was barred from the funeral. She was granted a private viewing so she could have time with her male parent. Then in a further evil act, her boyfriend desecrated my father’s guest book with a hate message, signed by “The Herrs.”

This act was witnessed by another guest at the funeral home. She was “frightened” by the man who wrote the hate message. 

I, Ruth Sippel Pace, do file this note on public internet this day of January 16, 2010, 2:26am. I initially did not want to acknowledge the hate crime of the man (yes I know his name). 

Joan Wheeler, and your boyfriend, Mr. R. T. – you are to stay away from the Sippel Family. If you are seen near us, the police will be called and you will both be charged with harassment. 

And no, you did not create any atmosphere of hate between the Ansermin/Sippel family and the Herrs. All members of the Ansermin family, Sippel family, and Herr family are decent loving folk and are not fooled into a war – which is what Joan and her boyfriend want. To desecrate a guest book at a funeral home is the lowest thing a person can do. And then he emails me and preaches. You are found out Mr. R. T. and law enforcement will be notified 

2.
Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler – Part 2 January 17, 2011

January 17, 2011 – 7:30am by Ruth Sippel Pace 

First and foremost – if any comments are placed on your website, they are not and will not be from any or all of the Three Sippel Sisters. If any comments are placed and signed with the name of Ruth Sippel Pace, Kathy Inglis or Gertrude McQueen, they are not from us. If any email address is attributed to these named persons, then someone has fraudulently opened an email address using or name(s) WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION. If you, Joan Wheeler have any complaint about any person leaving comments on your website, then by all means, exercise your right to call a law enforcement entity and have the IP address and email address investigated. Just because you voluntarily adjusted your website’s security and privacy settings, doesn’t mean that these things cannot be traced. Don’t whine and complain, make a formal charge. Put up or shut up. And Joan – when it has been found that it was YOU and YOUR BOYFRIEND impersonating me or my sisters – it will be YOU and Russell D. Thomas up on identity theft charges – so you better think twice before you start something you can’t finish. Every keystroke can be tracked – every email and every IP and computer signature code can be traced. 

Second, as long as MY name is mentioned on a website, I claim the right to visit that website. It is MY legal name, not yours Joan, and I claim the right to see and read and know what is being said about me and my name. If you have any objection to me reading your website, then remove my name from your website. And this goes for my other sisters. Is your website not for the purpose of adoption reform? As I have no interest or contribution to this topic, WHY IS MY NAME ON A WEBSITE DEVOTED FOR ADOPTION REFORM? This also applies to my sisters. 

Third, if your readers want a “bloodbath” that is not my concern. That is between you and your readers. 

Fourth, re: your warning to me and my sisters to “stay away from you.” Excuse me, I am not near you. Don’t want to be near you. Nor do my sisters. 

Fifth, if your mother is dying, that does not concern me. Nor does it concern my sisters. 

Sixth, when you yell “my mother is dying, for god’s sake, leave me alone.”

Please state exactly what you think we did to bother you. Again, we have not called you, nor have come to your house, or gone to any health care facility that your mother is at. Nor have we written any letters to you. And I wouldn’t invoke god’s name if I were you. 

Seventh, do you mean leave YOU alone, like YOU harassed US the other day when OUR father lay in his casket and you permitted your sleaze boyfriend to desecrate our father’s guest book and sign it with the names of four dead men and one man who was hundreds of miles away when his name was forged by your sleaze boyfriend? Won’t the police be interested in hearing about that! 

I really think you need to get on some medication. 

3.

Legal Notice to Joan M. Wheeler Part 3 by Gertrude McQueen, first born of Leonard Sippel , January 17, 2011 

Face the facts, Joan Wheeler you don’t belong to us! The blame is all on you!

You had it, but you blew it, with your crazy crap! No friend of Joan Wheeler’s is a friend of me and mine!

By Gert McQueen, first born child of Leonard Sippel.  

I wish the entire the world to know, in particular, the families of my parents, Leonard Sippel and Genevieve Herr and all my brothers and sisters of the families of my father’s current widow, my stepmother, to know, that Joan Wheeler is no relative of me and mine. She is a disgrace! Her male friend, Russ Thomas of Wilson NY has stepped into territories that are called harassments; hate speech, desecration of a family’s funeral item, and character assassination of several members, both living and dead, of an entire family. I hope that everyone who is related to or knows of our families, make it known to Joan Wheeler just how evil, her and her male friend’s, behaviors are.  

Joan Wheeler is not a legal daughter of my father, Leonard Sippel, who died January 11, 2011. Period, end of story, fact of life, nothing else can and will change that fact.  

After very tragic life circumstances that led to my father having to place a child into adoption that child was then reunited with birth father and family. That was a grave mistake…she, Joan, should never have been contacted and united but, fact of life, she was, and we all have been dealing with the aftermath ever since. That being said, my father did indeed recognize Joan Wheeler as the child he placed into adoption, but, fact remained that Joan was NOT his legal child, she was LEGALLY a child of the Edward and Dorothy Wheeler. Dad did indeed, with joy in his heart, accept Joan in reunion and tried over many many years to be a Dad to her, but Joan continued to cause much trouble over the years and Dad had to remove Joan from his home and presence often.  

Facts that Joan Wheeler refuses to accept are these:

She is not a legal member of the Sippel family. She is not welcomed nor wanted by any member of the Sippel family and all our descendents. She wrote and published a hateful book of lies about every member of birth and adoptive families. She has been told to stay away and she doesn’t.  

For historical continuity the following are facts that are not generally known but are indeed facts related to the change in my father’s relationship with Joan Wheeler.  

In April 2008 my father told me that every one of his children would be getting an inheritance, including Joan, to which I said fine, great, not a problem. My father had all his affairs in order. I and other children were given copies of certain paper work dated 2006.  

In 2009, before Joan’s hateful book of lies was published, she had a couple of episodes with my father, one over the content of the draft manuscript and her lack of money to have it printed. Dad sent her back to the Wheelers to get the needed money saying he wasn’t interested in the book. Why would he give her money to publish a book of lies? To other family members he said, of the book, that it was ‘garbage’, Joan is mentally ill and will never be satisfied with it.  

Another episode in 2009 was over money for gas in Joan’s car when she took Dad to doctor appointments, which she volunteered to do, and for money for car repairs to Joan’s car. The ways in which Joan spoke to Dad about this money was insulting to him. Dad told her that the car was her responsibility not his and that he didn’t need her help any more if she was demanding money from him to fix her car. She writes about this, of course with her own spin, in the book of lies. 

The final episode of 2009 was when Joan insulted Dad about his ancestry and religion. Joan writes about these things in the book of garbage and on page 559 states ‘Dad yelled at me…kicked me out of his house again…so be it, that is the last time, I am done.’ Remember this… ‘I (she) am done’. This episode and her statements were around Feb of 2009 as she states in the book.  

In 2009 my father told me about all these episodes saying that he told Joan that ‘it is best that they don’t see each, that Joan should stay away and call only’. My father did not mention Joan to me during the rest of 2009 and all of 2010 and I never mentioned her name to him.  

Joan published the book of lies in November 2009. When Ruth first obtained a copy of it she went to Dad, he told Ruth, put it in the garbage because it is garbage and Joan is mentally ill. It would be my guess, for I have no real knowledge of when my father did it, yet, when he found out that she published the book, Dad REMOVED Joan as his child. I got a copy of Joan’s book in January 2010. I never mentioned it to Dad and he never mentioned it to me. I, Ruth and Kathy have been refuting and condemning the book since January 2010. We never spoke to Dad about it.  

In a visit of August 2010 my Dad told me that he was ready to leave this world when his time was up. I spoke with my Dad frequently during 2010 and Joan and the book were never mentioned. When asked by my sister Ruth, in November of 2010, if Joan would be at a family event, Dad said ‘no, I’m done with her’. (Ruth’s note, he also told me “I don’t want to see her.”) 

Dad received, sometime before Christmas of 2010, a blank ‘diary’, with, if I recall correctly, a publication date of 2009. I saw this book the day we buried him, Jan 15th. This diary is a ‘memory’ diary for elders to record various things such as parents’ names and family histories and childhood memories and favorite things and children’s names and so many important things so people will remember them later on. Everything written in this diary was in Dad’s handwriting. Under the ‘list of children’ there is NO WRITTEN MENTION of Joan Wheeler! In a blank diary book published in 2009 that he received and wrote in, in 2010, he DOES NOT LIST Joan Wheeler as his child!  

When my father died, January 11, 2011, the pre-paid funeral papers, which I had a copy of, dated 2006, does have Joan listed as secondary family contact and in the obit that my father wrote himself. But, the funeral home director had received an UP DATED changed paper that REMOVED Joan from the contact and the obit! Dad REMOVED Joan and it was done sometime in 2009!  

Furthermore, these are also the facts of recent events, done by Joan Wheeler and her male friend Russ Thomas of Wilson NY to our family. 

On Jan 4, 2011, Joan Wheeler, presumably because her adoptive mother had ‘taken a turn for the worst’ went unannounced to the home of my father and stepmother, who are elderly. I know of Joan’s adopted mother’s conditions because Joan discussed them in a public forum. Joan’s reasons for going to my father’s home were to ‘make peace’ with Dad. I have written about this in a blog entry around Jan 6th. What I didn’t know at that time was that Joan brought with her, her new boy friend, a stranger, into the home of my elderly parents without asking for permission! She took this stranger with her when she then went to the hospital to see my father, against his wishes that she not come around him. The fact that Joan had a large male stranger with her while she calls on two fragile elders is an intimidating factor. As stated before, the condition of Joan’s adoptive mother has nothing to do with my father and wanting to ‘make peace’ with Dad is Joan’s problem, not my father’s and stepmother’s! As stated in my blog entry around Jan 6th, it was confirmed to me that no one in the family wanted Joan around, that was my reason for my blog entry of Jan 6th to tell Joan to stay away.  

During phone calls that Joan made to my stepmother Joan had given her phone number where she could be reached, it was thrown in the garbage. Joan had spoken to a stepsister on the phone saying that ‘she had a good visit with Dad and Mom and could I speak to her’. When asked if she wanted to speak with Joan my stepmother said no! No one wanted to hear from or speak with Joan. I myself heard a phone message that Joan left on my father’s home phone around Jan 6th and she said that she ‘will keep calling till she finds out what is going on with my father’. (ruth’s note: admission of intent to harass. She had been told “don’t contact us” yet she says she WILL keep calling.)

My stepmother had not been living at home since Joan ‘stopped by’ on Jan 4th; for the family made sure that Joan could not reach her. 

On Jan 11, 2011 my father died. Earlier that day I placed a call to his hospital room and was told that he was moved and was given the main number of the hospital. Before I could replace a call to him, I received the call that he had died. I had several phone calls during the 11th and 12th with family members related to events that had to taken care of. Joan had called the hospital room twice after my father died. (ruth’s note: my stepsister answered the phone the first time, I answered it the second time. Joan was told 1. “sorry, you just missed him. 2. “he is not available.” at both times, there were 8 family members in the room, and in unison, all 8 family members agreed to this.)

The entire family agreed that Joan was not to be allowed in the presence of our father and stepmother, at the hospital, the funeral calling hours and the church service. When Joan finally managed to speak with a stepsister and ask ‘what is going on with my father’ she was told that he died, Joan said ‘it would have been nice if someone told me’. No, Joan had no right to be told, for Joan was NOT his legal daughter.  

When the arrangements were made with the funeral home, it was discovered that Dad made the changes that removed Joan from the family and the obit announcement. A decision then was made to call Joan but my father’s wife had thrown Joan’s phone number, that she was given, by Joan, in the garbage and someone had to ‘fish it out of the garbage’ to make a call. A call was placed to Joan by a brother-in-law, as spokesman of the family, telling Joan that she had a 4:30 pm calling time, at the funeral home, on Jan 14th . She was not to come at any other time, or at the church service on Jan 15th. If she did come outside of the 4:30 time period, when no family would be there, Joan would be physical escorted out!  

At the funeral calling hours, at 4pm, as we all were leaving the room and building, I happened to see a young woman approach through the doorway. As she came towards me I saw, a familiar face, a family face and said to her, ‘I see a face from the past but I’m sorry I don’t know your name’. She said her name was ‘Cathy’ and I gave a puzzled looked at her. The woman asked me my name. I said, ‘I’m Gert’ and then the woman did an impression of Joan, for the woman was Joan’s daughter and said ‘I’ve always wondered about this moment of meeting you’. I said, ‘I know now who you are’ and instinctively we hugged and I gave her a kiss on the cheek as she said to me ‘I came for grandpa’ and I said ‘and you should and you go there now’ and I pointed to Dad and I left the room. The last time I saw Cathy was in 1992. It needs to be mentioned that Dad did indeed recognized his grandchildren Dennis and Catherine.  

When we returned to the calling hours at 7pm I had looked at the register book and noticed the signatures of Cathy Wheeler-Bell, Joan’s daughter, Joan Wheeler (Doris Sippel), as she wrote it, and the signature of Russell Thomas of Wilson NY, current boy friend of Joan’s. I then looked back at other pages and saw on the bottom of the previous page, where the above signatures were, a hate statement against my father with the names of all the brothers of my mother and their last name. This is an act of hateful desecration of my father and my mother and the rest of our families. I called Ruth over to see it. We were shocked and instantly knew that Joan was behind it. Other family members were made aware of the hate statement. The next day, Jan 15, we had the church service and the burial.  

By the late afternoon after we buried our Dad, I found out that Russell Thomas had left another hate message on our blog. His comments automatically go to the spam folder but Ruth and Kathy were able to read it. I believe that Ruth has posed the entire message, but for here, in it Russ addresses the Three Sippel Sisters, as Joan calls us, and informs us that he was with Joan on Jan 4th etc and he informs us that Dad accepted Joan’s apology. First off, what makes a stranger to the family think he has any right to tell us he ‘witnessed’ our father’s acceptance of Joan’s apology? This stranger’s words mean nothing to us; he is a harasser. And So!! What’s that proof of, nothing! That message is an attempt to assert that, Joan is a legal accepted daughter, when in fact, she is not. Russ Thomas is doing what he is good at…harassing with hate filled messages. Russ Thomas of Wilson NY has been leaving hate messages for months on our blog for the benefit of Joan and has identified himself by signing his name and giving his place of residence in the register book at my father’s wake!  

It was late on the night of Jan 15th, after my father’s burial, that I, Kathy and Ruth had gotten direct information, from a witness who was at the calling hours when Joan, her daughter and Russ Thomas were there. The witness saw and heard Joan complaint loudly to a funeral home attendant that there was a mistake in the obit that she Joan Wheeler was the daughter and should have been in the obit. The witness also stated that she was behind the man that came in with Joan Wheeler, at the register book stand and saw him, after he signed his name, turn the page over to the previous page and write the statement without pause as if from memory and return the page back to where he and Joan had signed. When the witness went up to the book to write her name, she turned the page back and saw what he had written.  

Now as if this weren’t enough, we find that on Jan 16th, Joan Wheeler had published in the Buffalo News a new obit declaring her self to be the loved daughter of my father! What kind of fool is that? She doesn’t see that by doing that she showed the world just what she is ABOUT; a crazy person who doesn’t know or get it that her father disowned her and that she wants to assert her parentage so she can be in line for the inheritance! And of course if she is not in this man’s obit, how does that jive with what she states in her ‘true’ book?

 As I have said above: on page 559 in Joan’s book of garbage she states that in 2009 ‘Dad yelled at me…kicked me out of his house again…so be it, that is the last time, I am done.’ So, if she was done in 2009 why is she writing, in 2011, a obit declaring herself to be a daughter to a man who had already written his own obit, who removed her from it, who was dead and buried? Why? Because Joan thought she was in, in the family, in the heritance! She thought that if she could ‘make peace’ with Dad, get him to accept her apology etc, that everything would be alright and those nasty Three Sippel Sisters would go away. No, it is not about us sisters, it’s about, the entire family and the fact that when Joan Wheeler published a book of lies and hate, her birth father disowned her, just as the rest of the family had already done. Dad just didn’t tell anyone.

 Blame yourself Joan, not only have the three Sippel Sisters been refuting your book of lies, your birth father, removed you from all inheritances that you would have received, if you did not publish a book of lies! Joan herself has named myself, and my two sisters, Ruth and Kathy, the Three Sippel Sisters labeling us harassers and stalkers. Doing this not only sullied our and our family names but also proves that Joan herself DOES NOT consider herself a Sippel. If that is the case then why should she NOW be insistent on being known as the daughter of my deceased father? Because she can’t accept the fact that she has LOST everything! Too bad, Joan, you have been OUT a long time ago and nothing will get you back in. Now GET LOST!
--

 Now, Ms. Urdang, I will give some background information. This story was told to us many times through the years, and was also confirmed in March 2010 by my mother’s last surviving sibling, Richard L. Herr, currently living in Florida.

When my mother was diagnosed with the cancer in January 1956, her brothers had suggested to my father that she be seen by a cancer specialist at Roswell Park. My father hesitated, saying that he wasn’t sure if he could pay for it. The brothers offered to pay. My mother herself, refused the consultation from a specialist. She then died on March 28, 1956. Her brothers, in their grief, blamed my father for her death. However they felt about my father, they never, nor did their children, disrespect me or my siblings. My cousins, descendants of these five men, through the years, have always proved themselves to always have been respectful to my father, always referring to him as Uncle Leonard, and greeting him warmly when seeing him at other funerals, and at family reunions.  

The hate message that was boldly printed in my father’s guest book was this:

“May he rot in hell for all eternity. From the Herrs: Charles, Matthew, Michael, Henry, Richard.” 

These men are all dead, except for Richard, who is in Florida, in fact, he was on the phone with my sister Kathy, being physically in Florida when the forgery of his name was taking place.  

If you, Ms. Urdang, are Joan Wheeler’s professional therapist, first and foremost, you overstepped your professional bounds by writing a personal recommendation of a book written by one of your clients. If you are her professional therapist, you are doing a poor job in counseling her. If you are involved with Joan in a merely personal level, as a friend, then you are doing a poor job as a friend. Because a friend would not let one carry on the way Joan does. A friend, or a professional therapist would try to make Joan understand the simple rule of “cause and effect.” When Joan tells a lie about a person, there can and will be repercussions.

 If there are any further criminal acts committed by Joan, I will hold you partially responsible.  

Respectfully submitted, 

Ruth B. Pace

 

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Keeping Garbage People Away from My Funeral - Joan Wheeler (Doris Sippel) and my exBFF are BANNED from mine

I was trying to share and comment on a post, and while I was typing, facebook yanked it away from me. (damn you facebook). It was about the fact that before he passed, John McCain left instructions that Trump be banned from his funeral. The caption on the accompanying meme said "what kind of garbage do you have to be to be banned from a funeral?

 Well, I totally understand it. I have already left instructions that the exBFF and The Nameless One are to be tossed out if they show up to anything regarding me when I pass. (wake, funeral, etc). I don't care if they cause a ruckus. I know they will. Those two are such lowlifes that they will open their ugly big mouths. They can't keep their hateful feelings to themselves.  

 The Nameless One created a ruckus at the funeral home during a private viewing (granted by the family) of my dad. Started arguing with the employees of the funeral home.  

The exBFF started yelling in the entrance of the CHURCH at my mother-in-law's sister at my mother-in-law's service. She also called me on the phone the day after my father's funeral and trashed him - my father, who liked and respected her.  

The exBFF and The Nameless One - the adopted out one who has caused much trouble for her birth family and her adopted family are both garbage and should be tossed out as such.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

A Tale of Woe - of a horrible adoption - Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel slams yet again, the woman and the priest who she thinks is responsible for that horrible adoption


In my last blog post, "Another nonsense statement (lie) from Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel about my mother" - I wrote about Joan/Doris' response on facebook to the news of the Catholic Diocese of Buffalo naming 40 former Catholic priests who had been accused of child abuse. Joan/Doris told how she had known one of those priests when she was 12 years. And she then related that my father had shown her my mother's high school diploma and she recognized that same priest's name on the diploma. -- HA! In my blog post, I related that my mom had not even graduated from high school (confirmed by her brother, who is still living) and besides, she attended a public school, not a Catholic school, before dropping out of school. But see, Joan/Doris never bothers to do proper research and get the facts - but even when she does have the facts, she likes to twist the story around to suit her fantasies. In other words, she makes up things and LIES.

This blog post is about her second comment - made after a fb contact of hers, Mary P. asked if the priest (who supposedly signed my mom's non-existent diploma) "Was this the same priest who leaned on your birth father to relinquish you after your mother died?" (a fictitous story that Joan/Doris loves to tell about how her adoption was first thought of - that at my mom's wake, a woman and a priest both came up to my father and suggested that Doris be adopted). I have the screen shot of this and Joan/Doris' answer. It is included in this blog post below. I won't type the whole thing out, but want to address a couple of things.

But first, the whole purpose of Joan/Doris' of telling this oh-so-sad, and totally FICTITOUS story is to ellicit SYMPATHY for herself. Witness what Mary says to her: Mary: "I'm so sorry, Doris. How unfortunate that this woman took advantage of your natural father while he was grieving. At that moment, he must have been so vulnerable. There's just some people who want what they want when they want it--no matter other people's feelings. And then the priest didn't intervene. Hugs to you, Mary"

Now, lets straighten this mess out.
My mom was in the hospital since Christmastime 1955. Very sick, pregnant. On January 7, she went into premature labor and delivered the baby, who being 2 months premature, was placed into an incubator. An exploratory surgery on mom was scheduled a couple weeks later and as soon as they opened her up, they saw she was full of cancer. Nothing could be done.

When the baby, named Doris was old enough to be discharged, she went 'home' with my mother's brother Richard and his wife Ann. Ann herself just had a baby in January 1956 and had little ones at home.

My mom's sister Catherine, who just had a baby girl on March 2, 1956, had a childhood friend named Helen. Catherine and Helen were still very close. Helen knew of my mom's illness and imminent death and the new baby. Helen's brother Edward's wife Dorothy was infertile and they had tried to adopt once before. Helen asked Catherine if my father would consider giving the baby up for adoption. Catherine called my father and suggested it. My father talked to our parish priest for guidance. My father did make the decision to relinquish the baby for adoption.

Now Joan/Doris loves to tell the tale that a woman approached my father at my mom's wake in the funeral home and asked about the baby be adopted. "I know someone who will take your baby." She has told that tale all over the place. And usually that's all she says. But this time she goes on to continue: "She (the woman) procured the baby - me - for her older brother and his wife to adopt."

Joan/Doris has also always told the tale as that AFTER (remember that word - AFTER) - the woman puts the idea of adoption into my father's head, he goes to his parish priest for advice and Joan/Doris has the priest telling him "the baby needs two parents." But now, in this NEW re-telling of her tale, Joan/Doris has the priest AND the woman badgering my father at the wake. AND she has the priest talking to my father BEFORE the woman talks to my father.

This is how the new tale goes: She tells of the priest talking to my father (answering Mary if the priest who was accused of child abuse is the same priest who talked to my father at my mom's wake) Joan/Doris says "NO! Good question though. " She goes on to say how she believes the priest who talked to my father had 'good intentions' and she continues her tale thusly: "AND, a woman came up to my father at my mother's funeral minutes after the priest. She said "I know someone who will take your baby."
Okay - so who approached my father first - the woman or the priest? Depends on when Joan/Doris tells the tale. Apparently the sequence of events changes. Well, you know what that means? Yes, Joan/Doris is a LIAR.

Remember how I said Joan/Doris tells this tale of woe to garner sympathy? Well, let's go over the timeline of Joan/Doris' oh-so-pitiful first year of life.

She is prematurely born on January 7, 1956 to a terminally ill woman, who dies on March 28, 1956. When Doris is discharged from the hospital, (I'm not sure of the exact date) she is taken by my mom's brother and his wife Ann. On March 4, 1956, Doris is baptized in Sacred Heart Church. Her godparents are Richard and Ann. She returns home with them. My mom dies on March 28, 1956. When exactly my Aunt Catherine spoke to her friend Helen is unknown. When exactly Helen spoke to her brother Edward is unknown. When exactly my Aunt Catherine spoke to my father is unknown. What is known is that sometime AFTER my mom's funeral, (according to my uncle Richard, who had offered to adopt Doris) my father called him up and told him to get the baby ready in a nice dress, as he (my father) was coming to get her (presumbly he had a ride, as my dad never learned to drive - his choice). He told Richard that he was taking Doris to meet other members of the family. But - he apparently he actually took her to the Wheeler's (or Surrogate Court, or some other meeting place). Now, I remember Joan/Doris telling me that she lived with the Wheelers for six months on a "trial basis." According to the actual adoption papers, my father signed his consent to the adoption on October 24, 1956. The Wheeler's verified their decision by signature on December 5, 1956, and the adoption was finalized on January 15, 1957. So if my father signed his final consent in October, six months before October was April - which jives with my Uncle Richard’s account.

But all this BULLSHIT about the priest and the woman is MEANINGLESS anyway. The exact time my father made the decision to relinquish the baby to adoption is unknown. Does it matter if someone approached him at the funeral? Well, it does if only for respect - but for the final outcome? My father had from April 1956 to the time he made the final signature on papers on October 24, 1956 to re-consider his decision. He did not. The adoption was not finalized until January 15, 1957, giving my father an additional two and a half months to change his mind - he did not.

Joan/Doris simply can NOT get over the fact that she was adopted. Her whole time on this planet is fighting that. She HATES the fact she is adopted and will try out any excuse as to why she should not have been adopted, and will try out any ridiculous scenerio on how her adoption could have been avoided. What's the purpose? No matter how much time she spends on it, no matter how much she fights it - the simple thing of her life is - she was adopted. NOTHING she says or does will ever change that. She's been trying for more than 40 years - she has wasted her life on trying to change something that cannot be changed. No kind of idea she can put forth will change the past. For example, in her facebook answer to Mary about the family priest who counseled my father, she starts talking 'what ifs' and says she thinks the priest meant well, but offered no real tangible help, like child care while my father was at work. She says "I don't think there was any malice intended by the priest ... only misguided advice." She goes on to say that she gets angry that the priest did not say (she actually made a typo and left out the word 'not' - but we get her point) "How can I help you keep your family together? You know, food baskets, baby clothes, diapers, church volunteers? I just can't understand why that was not arranged."

Uh DUH - First - there was NO lack of baby supplies and clothes - until Doris was born, I was the youngest of three sisters. And a brother two years older than me. There were plenty of hand-me-down clothes. PLUS the fact that in early 1956 - there were other babies born in the family - Richard and Ann had my cousin Jimmy, my Uncle Henry and Aunt Bertha had Dennis, my Aunt Catherine had Gail. Siblings and siblings-in-law of my mom - so I'm sure there would have been plenty of diapers and other baby supplies. Food? oh for crying out loud! Joan/Doris makes it sound as my family was absolutely poverty stricken (she has said this in her libelous bullshit book) but that was not the case. My father worked as a draftsman in the street paving department for the city of Buffalo in Buffalo's city hall. Joan/Doris keeps forgetting that in the 1950's there were no daycare centers like we have now. There simply was no one to take care of her during the day while my father was at work. AND four other young children. -- Church volunteers. That's asking an awful lot from other church members - you're talking possibly 18 years of daytime babysitting for a family of 5 young kids.

But as I said above, Joan/Doris can't reconcile the fact that she was adopted. All these what ifs, all these maybes, all these judgments on my father, my stepmother (the woman he married a few months after my mom died, who needed a father for her two sons, but at the age of 36 did not want to take care of an infant), judging and condemning my aunt, her friend, a priest, other relatives, everyone in our neighborhood and church who didn't step up to the plate to save HER from being horribly adopted -- what's the fucking point?

Joan/Doris' tale of woe of her horrible adoption and the planting of the idea of adoption in my dad's head at the funeral of my mom - is nothing but Joan/Doris to get people to feel sorry for her. Even if and that's a big IF someone did approach him at a vulnerable time - he had ample time to change his mind. HE DID NOT. End of story. She was adopted, that's it.

AND of course, Joan/Doris tells her tale of woe with the lie about my mom's 'fictitious' high school diploma the very week of the anniversary of my mom's death. Why? Because she writes crap like this EVERY year around this time - because she knows I and my other sister Gert are reading her shit - she does it to hurt us. But fool that she is, she doesn't realize this does NOT hurt us - just because we write a rebuttal and point out Joan/Doris' lies and other bullshit, does not mean we are hurt - we are simply telling the truth about our mom, who is being continuously DISHONORED by this continuous bullshit that Joan/Doris spews out.