Oh, and by the way, making a 'mistake' over and over is no longer a mistake - it's a choice.

 

Jealousy and envy are strong motivators for dirty tricks and backstabbing.

 

absolutely.

I've often examined my relationships with The Nameless One and the exBFF and outside of them being capable of pure evil and nastiness, a lot of things they did to me were 'punishment' for me growing in certain areas.

For example, in the late 70's the exBFF and I both said we wanted to learn belly dancing. In March of 1980, I saw an advertisement for a short beginner's class in belly dancing. I signed up right away. She had excuses.

By 1985 I had become a professional belly dancer - not on par with some of the world's 'Belly Dance Superstars' - but pretty damn good in my own right.

The exBFF NEVER ONCE came to see me in ANY of my performances - even those that were free at public festivals/carnivals.

Jealousy and envy are strong motivators for dirty tricks and backstabbing.

The only one who can make an addict change is themselves. And only they can reconcile with what they have done to others. They and they alone must take responsibility for what they do.

 

true. But the Tough Love comes in when you set boundaries, and they cross the line.

Then you - have to tell them - it's either me, or your demons. Cos I won't have your demons stealing from me, lying to me, disrespecting me.

Then be prepared to be further disrespected as they accuse you of throwing them under the bus, and possible retribution for your decision. Stand firm. You don't have to put up with their demons or their disrespect.

At her request, I hand delivered the exBFF to detox. She went for counseling for several weeks. I thought she was doing good. Then she called me up one afternoon, drunk. So she took a backslide. But then I caught her in a lie - when she was drunk and rambling on the phone. That, and the fact that she had stolen pain pills from my bathroom, told me that I could not have her in my life. 

She started leaving nasty and nonsensical posts and messages to me on facebook. This went on for several months, then the day after my father's funeral, she called me on the phone and trashed him. I hung up on her. She called me one night - 6 times - demanding to know why I took her off my facebook. She called my job 2 days later and lied about me - trying to get me fired. She even left a message on my niece's facebook admitting to calling my job. 

I sent her a letter of intervention - trying to get her to see what she was doing to herself - and how she had destroyed our friendship. I told her to get off the drugs, make better friends (who weren't keeping her in the bottle and on the drugs) and to stop her nearly 30 year habit of going after married/attached men and getting her heart broken or just being a nasty predatory female, out to destroy other women's happiness. I told her in my letter to stay away from me.

She raised crocodile tears and pressed harassment charges on me and then threatened me in court, was tossed out - screaming like an insane person. After our initial shock and anger at her outburst - my husband and I, later at home, cried. A beloved friend - comes to court dressed as a two-bit ho, screaming like an insane person, threatening me, had to be removed from the courtroom. 

Still, the judge unfairly came down on ME. Gave me a restraining order - telling me to stay away from her. Fine. it was unfair. But, considering this was 2012, and I'd been trying to get her out of MY life from 2005 - I said "so what? I can certainly abide by the court's decision and stay away from her - and she'd better stay away from me."

TEN YEARS LATER - MARCH 2022 - she contacts me on Instagram - says she misses me and my husband, wants to be my friend. Leaves me her phone number. I call it and left her a voice mail and I left her a message on Instagram -- FRIENDS WITH YOU? OH HELL NO!!! LEAVE ME ALONE.

I got one thing and one thing only to say to Francine M. after having 10 years of peace and quiet without her:
STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME AND MY HUSBAND. WE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN. OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS DESTROYED BY YOU AND YOU ALONE -- WELL, YOU AND YOUR FUCKING DRUGS AND BOOZE. GO TO HELL.

CONTACT ME AGAIN - COME BY MY HOUSE - I WILL GO TO THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY AND PRESS CHARGES OF STALKING AGAINST YOU.
AND YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AWFUL SILLY - YOU GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST SOMEONE, AND THEN 10 YEARS LATER YOU WANT TO REUNITE WITH THEM? DUMBASS.