Experiencing trauma does not give you the right to dump on others who did nothing to you.

Both Joan/Doris and the exBFF underwent trauma/hurts. I get it. When the exBFF was hurt - I was one of the few who stood by her side. What did I get in return? Lies, disrespect. THEFT (stole pain pills from my bathroom cabinet). 

Joan/Doris' blog and her libelous book lists her numerous hurts - some real, some exaggerated, some fabricated.

Both these women chose to go out of their way to hurt me. Both of them chose to call my job with lies to get me fired. Each time a call was made to my employer, they checked it out and determined the calls were made to slander me. They checked out my performance on my job and found the calls to be false. They knew I wasn't doing what the lies said.

And that is why - no matter what they try to say or justify what they did - neither of them will be in my life again. 

 

Burning Bridges Can Be Beautiful

The version of me that tolerated bullshit just because she was my 'sister' or the other she - because she used to be my best friend.

My life is so calm since The Nameless One and the exBFF are out of my life.

 

What caused me to turn my back on Joan/Doris and the exBBF - I closed the door on both of them.

 

just some memes pertaining to how I feel and think about the exBFF

 

When a narcissist realizes they have lost control over you - how the exBFF reacted when I told her to go away

This meme is absolutely true. Why do I agree with it? Well, I have to lay out a timeline of a events first. 

In 2005, after I hand-delivered her to detox (at her request), she did go into counseling. She asked for some space, which I gave her. She called me several weeks later to tell me of the progress she was making in counseling. Telling me things she learned, then proceeded to apply what she learned to me. By that I mean, she started psycho-analyzing me, telling me of my faults and why I was faulted. (my love of chocolate).That did not sit well with me. I am a grown woman and can (and have in the past) recognized when I need help.

She also called me one day, drunk, talking nonsense. I was livid. When I took her to counseling, I had actually stayed at her house the night before and was with her most of the next day. I had called in sick to my job that night, and now I was going without sleep (I worked the night shift). I used up MY sick time, and almost 24 hours of MY time to help her, and now, after counseling, she's drunk and high again. I gave up. So I didn't return any of her phone calls.

I ran into her at a store in September 2010, and I went to her house and had a good talk with her. She told me she recognized how she had driven away her friends with her substance abuse and wanted to fix things. 

But just 2 months later -- I was on a three-way email conversation with my two older sisters. A question had come up about social services and we were unclear about the difference between Social Security Supplemental Income and Social Security Disability and Social Services (welfare, food stamps etc). I said, "you know who might know, would be K. (my niece) and F. (the exBFF). (because both had been on 'welfare' in the past. It was not a condemnation of either of them, simply a matter that since they had been on welfare, they know the what the terms mean. So I forwarded the email exchanged to both.

F. the exBFF fired off a nasty email to me - she was insulted! She said she was not a welfare queen and lived a good life (in public housing with rental assistance, which is a form of social help, so...?) 

I emailed her back, I told her she was over-reacting, I included her in the now 5 way email exchange because I thought of her as 'family' - but now I was done with her. She had also expressed anger because I had removed her from my facebook. - yes, I did, because when I got her email, I said to myself, "this isn't going to work. I've reunited with her for 2 months, and here we go again." I explained why I removed her from my facebook and told her I wanted nothing to do with her. 

Two months later, in January 2011, the day after my father's funeral, she called me on the phone to 'express sympathy.' She read about it in the newspaper. I did not call her to tell her about it - because at the time, I had cut her out of my life.

On the phone, she started yelling, and trashed my father. THE DAY AFTER WE BURIED HIM, SHE'S TRASHING HIM! I hung up. 

My memory is unclear if she tried to call me during 2011 - I was grieving and going through other things. But (and I don't recall the date right now, but it was around October 2011) that my phone rang one Saturday night about midnight. I was off from work and working on my computer - I checked my caller ID - it was F. I didn't pick up the phone - and she began recording her message - she was angry. "Why'd you take me off your facebook?" - um, 1. I'm a grown woman, I will remove someone from my facebook any damn time I please. 2. We already discussed this in the email exchange in November 2010. I did not pick up the phone, and she called 5 more times. 

But what I did was to change the 'greeting' on my answering machine - leaving her a message and I told her to stop calling me, I will report her to the phone company. And to leave me alone. 

The following day, Sunday, she called my job and finagled her way into finding out my immediate supervisor's name. AND CALLED THAT SUPERVISOR THE FOLLOWING DAY! (Monday). And reported that I was accessing her medical records on hospital computers. Trying to get me fired. I was investigated and found innocent. (they can track every keystroke I did). Meanwhile I called the phone company, reported her and changed my phone number. 

So to quote the meme: THE NARCISSIST FEELS ANGER BECAUSE YOU ARE TRYING TO SET A BOUNDARY. 

Read the meme - read it very carefully - because that is EXACTLY what she did. I refused to pick up the phone, I left her a message telling me to leave me alone and I was reporting her to the phone company - so she retaliated. 

After I found out she called my job, I sent her a letter of intervention, and no contact. I told her point blank why I felt the way I did, that she needed to fix her life and leave me alone. I listed her weak points and told her to get back into counseling. She needed to work on herself and stop bothering me. I did what a true friend does - she engages in certain behaviors that are harmful to herself and well-being. And I listed them and why they were harmful to her. She couldn't handle it. She says she 'gets offended very easily.' Oh, but she can call ME and list MY faults and tell me that I have an addiction (chocolate). Sorry toots, my love of chocolate does not end up with me in fist fights. While her behaviors did. 

Well, she went full-out-of-control and filed harassment charges on me. We ended up in court, where while we were waiting for the judge to arrive, she was yelling at the DA assistant handling her case. (she had left a nasty message on facebook, and when I responded, she tried to tell the DA that I had contacted her). I heard the DA tell her loudly "SHE DID NOT CONTACT YOU." She was yelling, the bailiff told her to leave. As she walked past me where I sat nearest the aisle, she said to me in a very low voice "I will beat your ass." I immediately raised my hand to the bailiff and said loudly "Excuse me, she just threatened me."

The bailiffs jumped into action, she started running out of the courtroom, they got her by the door and she started yelling. It was a circus. She was OUT OF CONTROL! They actually put her in a separate room down the hall. But she could be heard screaming all over the place. (I’m surprised she didn’t bust a blood vessel). 

A few minutes later, my lawyer arrived. He said he heard the yelling as he got off the elevator. She did not appear in the court room again. She was told to stay home for my next appearance, where the asshole judge, a known sympathizer to substance abusers, sentenced me to a one year restraining order against F. 

It was unfair. However, I didn't care. It meant that I finally got her out of my life - because if I couldn't contact her, she couldn't contact me either. Well, actually she was not prevented from contacting me, but she would look awfully stupid if she did). So thank you anyway judge - You did what I could not - GOT HER OUT OF MY LIFE. For 7 years - since 2005, (except for the 2 months in 2010) I wanted her GONE. And now - she was. 

And with her latest contact to me - in March of 2022 - her contacting me on Instagram that she wants to be my friend again 10 years after the crap she did to me -- I told her in no uncertain terms NO. she had given me her phone number on instagram - which I called and left her a voice mail. 

I reminded her - that she got a restraining order against me 10 years ago - and she contacted me this time. I told her - "don't try to file charges on me again - YOU contacted me. And you're going to look awfully silly in the DA's office - you got a restraining order on someone, and now YOU'RE contacting them?" 

So well, yeah, she IS powerless over me now. I HAVE THE POWER NOW.

Is she feeling anger? Shame? Worthless? Powerless? I don't know. I don't care.

Whatever the fuck she's feeling - it's not my concern. She is dead to me. Fuck her.

 

Once a snake, always a snake - Joan/Doris and Fran: snakes.

 

In 2012, Francine called my job to get me fired. She claimed I was violating HPPA by looking up her medical records.

1. My sign on information - my password - got me only to a certain portion of the hospital computer system - only that portion that allowed me to chart patient’s vital signs, outputs, their ADLs (activities of daily living) and the tasks that I performed (doing my job).
I had access to ONLY the patients that I was assigned to. The charge nurse, who made out my assignment had to go in, select those patients, and assign my name to them.
Sometimes I would see on the grease board my assignment (Rooms 1 to 10, for example). I would see Mr. So and So is in room 2. I took him to the bathroom. I go to check off that I took him to the bathroom, but the charge nurse hadn’t assigned my name to him yet, so I COULD NOT ACCESS HIS CHART TO PUT IN THE INFORMATION.
As soon as she assigned my name in the computer to that patient, then and only then, could I access his chart to do my documentation.
Also the patient’s chart that I could access ONLY had the areas that the hospital deemed that I, as a nurse aide/PCA, needed to do my job. Other people had access to more of the patient chart, as per what their job function was.
If Francine was NOT on my assigned patient list (and she never was), THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD ACCESS HER MEDICAL RECORDS.

2. My employer’s  COMPUTER SECURITY TEAM TRACKED EVERY KEYSTROKE I PERFORMED.

3. When she called the hospital - they investigated and found me innocent - because of all of the above.

4. Francine herself worked at another hospital for a couple of years. She knows these things - she herself got fired because she violated HPPA - she knows how hospitals work, and how their computer security systems work. So her calling my employer was an out and out LIE - and trying to get me fired, so I could lose my source of income.

Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel also would call my job with lies to get me fired. And again, I was investigated, and found innocent - again for the same reasons above. 

Both Joan/Doris and Francine are snakes. They have both been out of my life for 10 years now - and they will remain OUT of my life. Because I do not trust them. I know them too well.

Francine contacted me on Instagram a few months ago, wanting back into my life.
OH HELL NO.

I no longer allow people to cause chaos in my life.

 

Read this well Francine and Doris/Joan - you have both been out of my life since 2012.
I refuse to let either one of you drama queens and your fucked up chaotic selves into my serene life.

I don’t care how much whining you do Francine, ("life is short, I hope to see you before I leave this world") - you should have thought of that before you kicked me in the teeth. And you come whining in March 2022 that you want to be in my life.
Fuck off.

I do not want certain people around me.

 

THIS.
This is why I tried to distance myself from both Doris/Joan and the exBFF.
And the narcissists that they are weren’t having it.
Both decided to ‘punish’ me.
Both had always used me as a doormat - and when I pulled that doormat out, they weren’t going to have it.

It took a few years and some serious blows, but I finally got the exBFF out of my life. That was 10 years ago. I have been very happy the past 10 years. Even Doris/Joan has finally stopped her crap.

I don’t know if she ever stopped her stupid calling my job trying to get me fired. The last time I was called down to Human Resources they told me they had investigated me for the ‘computer fraud’ that Doris/Joan told them I was doing - and they found me innocent. (they can track every key-stroke I did).

At that meeting, I told them, “you know I’m innocent. I’ve been working here for many years, you know what kind of worker I am. You know my reputation. You know that Joan Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel has been harassing and stalking me for years - and calling you since 1995 with stupid false accusations - you have investigated those false claims and have found me innocent. Frankly, I don’t want to hear it anymore. She calls again, YOU call your legal team and handle her. I’ve had her in court several times, but they won’t do a damn thing because she’s related to me. I just want to be left alone to do my job.”

And when the exBFF tried that nonsense as well to ‘punish’ me for removing her from my facebook (how childish) - and I was called down to HR again, (after having been investigated and found innocent), I told them the same thing. I told them if they get any more bullshit calls and they investigate me, and find me innocent, I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I told them to get their legal team on it.

Were any more calls made by either the exBFF or Joan/Doris? I don’t know. If they did call, I wasn’t told.

That was all back in 2012 and 2013. I retired in 2015. My husband had retired a few years before me. We are now enjoying our retirement.

The meme says "My whole mindset has changed. I don't have the energy to do certain things or be around certain people anymore. I'm at the point in my life now where if something feels like it's draining my energy or fighting with my peace of mind, I'm not dealing with it, at all. I'll walk away from that shit in a heartbeat."

The only reason I’m spending energy relating these things here on my blog, is to get these things off my chest. And I know these two abusers (Joan/Doris, the exBFF) are such whiny losers, narcissists and abusers, they won’t accept that I DON’T WANT THEM AROUND ME.

Proof: Just a few months ago, March 2022, the exBFF contacted me on Instagram, wanting to be my friend again. (see recent older posts on this blog). Her message to me included her phone number which I called and left a voicemail telling her in no uncertain terms that I want nothing to do with her EVER!

The last line of the meme: “I'll walk away from that shit in a heartbeat.”

STAY AWAY FROM ME FRANCINE - YOU ARE DEAD TO ME. GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE.

The one in the middle - about not apologizing - well, sometimes they do apologize - but in a way that you know they don't mean it.

To them, an apology is not about any kind of regret of what they did, but rather it is simply words carefully said in order to manipulate you into 'forgiving' them and enabling them to keep shitting on you. 

When the exBFF contacted me on instagram recently, she rendered one of those haphazard 'apologies; - saying she was sorry for 'not understanding me the way I thought she should have.' 

read that again. She basically turned her apology around to put it all on ME. That it was MY fault that she didn't understand me! What fucking nerve!

And no where was there an apology or acknowledgement of the shit she did to me 2010-2012. She assumed she could manipulate me into forgiving her and let her back into my life - she even left me her phone number! Which I called and left her a voicemail letting her know in no uncertain terms that I wanted nothing to do with her.

 

Because you never knew me at all.....

In the exBFF’s half-assed apology (“I'm sorry for not understanding you, when you thought I should have”) she admits she didn’t understand me. She didn’t WANT to understand me. As a narcissist, it was all about HER anyway.

Both the exBFF and Joan Wheeler (aka Doris Sippel) never took the time to ‘know’ me.

They didn't care, either. They just wanted someone they could slap a "target" label on, and pelt repeatedly with their own projected insecurities.

Well, they are both out of my life now (good riddance) - and I will never let them back in. I’m done being their doormat. They will never wipe their boots on me again.

 When she contacted me on Instagram recently, trying to worm her way into my life again, she wrote - "Ruth and Francine FOREVER. To which I say: Ruth and Francine NEVER!

 

 

I have peace - why would I want a disruptive person in my life again?

  

I have these things. I have Peace in my soul. I have Peace (and quiet) in my life. I will NOT let an abusive narcissist from my past re-enter my life and destroy my serenity. She who thrives on chaos, I crave quiet and have it. I want no part of her. She is banished. She is 'old news.' She is left by the wayside. If she thinks that I have thought she didn't understand me, what she needs to 'understand' right now - is that I do not want her in my life ever! If she has trouble 'understanding' that - that is her problem, not mine. 

The title of this blog post, "I have peace - why would I want a disruptive person in my life again?" is just what it says. The exBFF (FJM) loves to start fights, loves the drama of fighting, arguing. I do not. I am retired now, will be 70 in a few months - my life is serene, quiet, my husband and I are in our golden retired years, we enjoy our life. We enjoy gardening, I enjoy my crafting, writing, reading, listening to music, working on my family tree with my cousin, trying to find the time to study my Latin.  

I thought when I retired, I'd have time to study my Latin - but there isn't enough hours in the day for me to do the things I want to. I simply do not have the time for disruptive, disrespectful people. Especially those who have been tossed out of my life before. There's a reason they were tossed out - I believe in recycling - Mother Earth Gaia must be protected and all resources should be recycled - but bad human relationships? Nope, not a chance.

Remember the old adage - "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
I was fooled into letting this abusive person into my life again in September 2010, only to regret it two months later. This time around, I will not allow it. If anyone has a problem with the way I run MY life, that's THEIR problem - not mine.

 When she contacted me on Instagram recently, trying to worm her way into my life again, she wrote - "Ruth and Francine FOREVER. To which I say: Ruth and Francine NEVER!

for more on this topic, see the following posts - click on the titles.

I deserve good company -- narcissists, users and abusers, troublemakers, people who thrive on chaos and drama - are not welcome in my life. March 21, 2022

I used to 'accept' things that I couldn't change. Or rather I used to think I COULDN'T change things. March 16, 2022

To My exBFF - March 14, 2022

To My exBFF

 To my exBFF

This is what I received via Instagram messages on Friday, March 11, 2022  plus a notification that this person - initials FJM was 'following me' on Instagram.
This is my exBFF who 10 years took me to court for harassment after I sent her a letter of intervention - to get her to stop harassing ME. (leaving insulting messages to me on facebook, calling my job telling them I was accessing her medical records (they investigated and found me innocent). She is an actress, cried tears, she was the victim, oh boo-hoo. At one point in court - before the judge entered, she was arguing with the assistant DA assigned to her - and started swearing at him - the bailiff told her to shut up - she didn't - she got tossed out - while she passed me sitting there, she threatened me "I'll beat your ass." I immediately waved my hand at the bailiff "excuse me, she just threatened me." The bailiffs came over - she started screaming as they tossed her out. They put her in a separate room - but everyone could her screaming like a banshee.
She was out of control - to the point she was told NOT to return to court. However, the judge, being sympathetic to 'those under the influence' turned around and gave me a one year restraining order - I was to stay away from her for one year. No problem! I'd been trying to get away from her for 2 years!
So imagine my surprise when I see this on my Instagram the other day.
I answered her and told her I want nothing to do with her. She then blocked me. Fine.
I thought about it and realized, I never got a chance to say what I really wanted to say, and that's the purpose of this blog post. Because she blocked me before I got the screenshot - it comes up as "Instagram User" - that's ok. In this graphic here, I blanked out her phone number - but I have the original with the phone number intact.
I'm not falling for her boo-hooing. And I'm NOT letting her back into my life.
So now, dear exBFF - here is my response. Please read it and would you understand (this blog post) that I never wanted your 'understanding' of me (what's to understand? I'm not that complicated a person) I never said that - what I wanted was your RESPECT - which you never gave. As outlined below:

at the bottom of her message - cut off here - she wrote   "Ruth and Francine FOREVER. To which I say: Ruth and Francine NEVER!

Dear FJM
You say you ‘didn’t understand me’ as well as I thought you should. Okay, I will enlighten you.

Do you remember when I first got the red van that belonged to John’s mother? And you didn’t have a car? I let you take the van - gave you the keys - to go grocery shopping or whatever you wanted. No questions asked.

Fast forward to when that van got smacked and sat in my driveway and you got a car and it was in my name for you to have cheaper car insurance. You had a vehicle, I did not. You never took me shopping nor handed the keys to me so I could do my errands.

I gave you the payment page from the insurance company that listed the amounts due and the payment dates. A couple of months later, I asked if you had sent the payment in - you claimed you ‘lost’ the paper. (but you didn’t tell me). (o, how ‘adult’). So I said ‘just give me the money. If I’m sleeping when you drop it off, put it in an envelope and put it in the mailbox.”

One day, you came over - with a friend sitting in your car - a white lady - I don’t know who she was - you didn’t bother to introduce us. You handed me the money and took off.

So, I’ve got the cash - I’ve got to get the cash into the checking account. The next day, I took TWO BUSES downtown to my credit union behind City Hall to put the cash into my checking account. Then I wrote out a check (checks had to bought - packets of 400 cost about $10.00). --- not being petty, but I worked hard for everything I own.   I put the check in an envelope put on a stamp (stamps aren’t free). And mailed it off in time so that MY credit wouldn’t be affected. Here I am, with no car - taking TWO BUSES to take care of an insurance payment on a car that I don’t own and YOU say you don’t ‘understand?’

And then a few months later, you call me up and you were DRUNK and bitching about your boyfriend and you let slip that his car was in your son’s name. I waited a couple of days and called you up - and you were sober - and I told you what you said. And I told you that you had 30 days to get your car out of my name. You have your boyfriend’s car in your son’s name - you could put YOUR car in your son’s name as well.

So here’s to understanding: You USED me - I let you put your car in my name, but you couldn’t be adult enough to take care of the payments. You couldn't go get a money order, slap a stamp on the envelope and take care of it. And yet you would brag on the phone about this or that you bought and then end the conversation “I’m not like Joni.” Why put that in there? Because you knew you were EXACTLY like Joni. - You are both users and abusers. And you couldn't even bother to take me, your 'friend' shopping - not once! As for all your other 'friends' -- WHO was there after the incident in 1996 - ME and Melissa. Your other so-called friends dropped you. WHO hand-delivered you to de-tox (at your request)? Me. You never once thanked me. Never. I was the one who tried to get you out of the bottle, off the drugs, get you healthy - and what did I get in return? A kick in the teeth.

And that was real nice of you - trashing my father to me on the phone the day after his funeral. Saying he was wrong for doing something in 1956 - three years before you were even born. Are you of the Sippel family? How dare you criticize a parental decision he made. I was telling you of how Joan got a friend of hers to desecrate my father's funeral guest book, and all you had to say was he wrong to give her up for adoption???? 

I never disrespected you or your family when your father died. And speaking of which - the whole year of 2003, when John lost his grandfather, then his mother, then I lost my ex-husband/friend, then my cousin, then my brother -- John and I were grieving - and every other day, YOU are leaving messages on our answering machine "I miss my father." yeah, I get that - but did you EVER stop and think of the pain John and I were going through? FIVE deaths in two months time? Not once did you call and say "how are you guys doing?" Nope, true to narcissistic form - every phone call was about YOU. Never about me and John. 

And when John had his heart surgery - I told you that afternoon when I was leaving the hospital that I would be sleeping on the couch, after watching Star Trek Enterprise at 9pm - and that I didn't want to be disturbed. At 9:30pm, here you are calling, blubbering (drunk) - "I didn't know how much John meant to me until this afternoon" - uh, why were you calling AFTER I said 'don't call?'  I needed to have the phone line open in case the hospital called me about MY husband. He stopped being your concern when you broke up with him in 1983, 20 years prior. I couldn't have one damn night - worrying about my husband, without your drunken interference.

And when unknowingly, you and Joan played ‘tag team’ and both attacked me in 2012 - both of you calling my job to get me fired - I had the same lawyer and the same manager at work - and they both told me the same exact thing: “Ruth, you got to learn to stay away from crazy people.” And I told them - “I’m trying - I’ve been trying for years to get both of them out of my life.”

You didn't like it when T. called your job - what makes you think I would have been jumping in joy when you did it to me. Hence the letter I wrote you. Truths you didn't want to face and went to the extreme and put the final coffin nail in our friendship.

I got you out of my life once - in 2005 - but I made a mistake and let you back in in 2010. I won’t repeat that mistake - you are out of my life and you will NEVER be in it again.

Stop with your ridiculous little-girl bs in your message “Ruth and F  ...FOREVER” with the cutesy little hearts and flowers emoticons. We are not in 6^th grade. Grow up.

Also your whole message (again) was all about ... YOU (everything is always all about you)   “How I miss you” “My brother has died.” ”I hope to see you before I leave this life.”  And you also put that guilt trip in there: “Life is too short.” (you should have thought about that one 10 years ago when you were busy trying to destroy me, but ended up destroying our friendship).

Your half-ass apology “I'm sorry for not understanding you, when you thought I should have” was more bs - and putting it all back on me - that I, Ruth, was in the wrong for thinking you should have understood me.

I didn’t need ‘understanding’ as much as I need RESPECT - and that is something you NEVER gave me. You walked all over me - treated me like a doormat and when I spoke up you dismissed me - you left a horribly insulting message on facebook about my husband - and now, for some reason, you’re feeling sorry for yourself - and you ‘miss’ me and John.

Yes, me and John, and John's brother - the three people in this world who always had your back. And yes, you USED E. as well. He told me you were pestering him for his pain pills. (did you steal from him like you stole from me?) Yes, I'm aware you stole 3 hydrocodones from me. I used to keep the bottle in the kitchen and I got tired of you coming over and asking me for them. You would say "do you know what kind of a buzz you get when you take these with beer?" uh, no, I don't - because I take those things responsibly - I told you several times I kept them for medical emergencies - in case John and I broke a tooth or sprained an ankle and had to wait to see a doctor. Finally one day, when you were on the way over - I moved the bottle into the bathroom - and when you left - I went in and counted them - and 3 were gone. STEALING from a friend? I NEVER stole a thing from you - but this is how you 'understood' me? My understanding is gross disrespect from you. 

Where’s the damn apology for calling my job? Never mind, I don’t need it nor want it. Your lies didn’t work. Just like it didn’t work when Joan pulled that crap. And now that I’m retired - I’ve taken away your plaything.

And now - take heed of this: LEAVE ME ALONE. I do not want now or in the future - you in my life.

AND if John or I should go before you do - instructions have been told to various members of my family - that if you or her show up at the funeral home -- both of you will be escorted OUT.

You called me up the evening of his heart surgery, boo-hooing - “I didn’t know how much John meant to me until this afternoon.” Yet 9 years later, you’re writing shit on facebook, calling him a ‘broke-ass man’ who lives in the deep ghetto.

And don't bother trying to press charges on me - cos you're going to look awful silly - you managed to get a restraining order against someone, then turn around and contact them on Instagram. I have a printout and screen shot of your contact of me on Instagram - and those will be shown to the proper authorities if needs be.

Besides, this post is not to harass you - but to answer YOUR summons - and to explain fully - once and for all -  why we will NEVER be friends again. I do not trust you. 

Please - LEAVE ME ALONE. If you are having guilt feelings, or 'missing me' - that is for you to resolve. I can not help you. I do not WANT to help you. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Ruth and Francine NEVER again. YOU destroyed a near 30 year friendship with your booze, your drugs, your selfishness. fuck off.

for more on this topic, see the following posts - click on the titles.

I deserve good company -- narcissists, users and abusers, troublemakers, people who thrive on chaos and drama - are not welcome in my life. March 21, 2022

I used to 'accept' things that I couldn't change. Or rather I used to think I COULDN'T change things. March 16, 2022

I have peace - why would I want a disruptive person in my life again? March 15, 2022 

Abusers are just as good at grooming allies as they are at grooming victims

This meme came across my facebook  - I experienced this on my old blog, and now today with the attacking comments from someone who was too cowardly to even leave their name.

Yes, I was harassed and abused by Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel -- and she is very clever and manipulative in twisting things around and making her adoptee buddies and others believe that she was the victim.

My old blog was attacked one day in February 2010 -- because Joan/Doris told them to spam my blog. In one day, I got around 120 hits, and several spam comments, some with obscene language. And I mean really repulsive obscene language.

Now I have sworn on this blog and on my old blog -- but I have that right. Because it's MY blog. But when someone comes and says "You're a fucking whore." on a comment to a blog post -- well, who's the abuser? Me, who wrote a blog post, or someone just spouting insults. Just like the cowardly person who left a comment today calling me a liar.

On my old blog, I called such 'allies' of Joan's 'puppets.' Because that's just what they are: Puppets. They do Joan/Doris' bidding. They have no brains of their own. One such puppet was a boyfriend of Joan/Doris, leaving comments as "Champ" -- get it? - Joan/Doris' Champion??? lol

He proceeded to tell me of my character faults -- and brought up a fight I had with an Arab lady whose name started with 'S.' -- now keep in mind, I never met this Champ face-to-face, never spoke to him face-to-face in real life or online -- but he's throwing in my face a fight I had with S. A. This was in 2011 and 2012 that's he yakking about the fight. 

Folks, that fight occurred in September 1979.

Now how did Champ find out about a fight I had in Lackwanna, NY in 1979? S.A. didn't tell him - she moved out of state 30 years ago. And besides, in 1984, we had sat down and hashed out our grievances. In 1985, she was so sweet -- she sent me a card when I was in the hospital when I had a miscarriage. When I got home, she called me, offering to send home-cooked meals in tupperwares for me.

So who told Champ about the fight of 1979? -- Joan/Doris did. And she groomed him into trying to abuse me. She groomed him to be her puppet. And puppet that he was, he listened to 35 year old gossip - simply because his Puppet Master, Joan/Doris filled his head up with shit.

Champ, who finally revealed himself to be one Brian M. left a comment saying he was going to reveal to the world my deep dark secret. Hmmm.

So I answered him that I do not respond to emotional or any kind of blackmail and that he should go ahead and reveal it. BUT the Buffalo Police and the Erie County District Attorney would be very interested in why a man who never met me, never spoke to me, is going to reveal my 'deep dark secret'  -- I was also in the middle of an harassment case in court against Joan/Doris for her call to my job in 2012 with a lie trying to get me fired. I immediately went downtown and showed the screenshots of Champ/Brian's threat and wanted to add him to the harassment case because he was acting on Joan/Doris' behalf.

In court, Joan/Doris denied she said anything to Champ/Brian. (yeah, right). She threw her puppet under the bus. The charges of harassment were dismissed, because even though Joan/Doris admitted on the stand that she called my job AND bragged about it on Huffington Post (because my lawyer presented the screenshot of it) -- I hadn't suffered anything on my job. My employers did investigate me (without my knowing it) for a few months in late 2012. The first I heard about it was mid-January 2013 -- they did not want to tell me about it because they didn't want my holidays to be ruined.  I did go to a meeting in Human Resources, where they told me of the phone calls they received by Joan/Doris and her accusations, and they said they investigated me (because that was necessary), but they exonerated me -- they found NO impropriety in my behavior, computer usage, or job performance.

As for that puppet Champ/Brian -- I never heard another word from him. He found out that I don't play, and Joan/Doris threw him under the bus.

And I still haven't a clue as to what my 'deep dark secret' is. lol
Puppets are just that - PUPPETS. Joan/Doris loves her puppets. Until the shit hits the fan and then she dumps them.

Joan/Doris is an awful lot like Trump in that.

An attack by a COWARD -- trying to tell me that I'm a liar.

especially when that 'lecture' is posted by someone who was too COWARDLY to leave their name. 

sooo -- some COWARD left a comment to my last post -- I will not publish it -- but this person dared to call ME a liar -- this person obviously went to my facebook page to gather  information. And accused me of lying when I say that my husband was a Navy Seal in Vietnam. I would publish my husbands DT214 form online except that it contains personal information. Why would I lie on facebook about something like that? My husband's brother and other immediate and extended family members (and in-laws of my brother in law) are friends of mine on facebook. AND three members of that family (my brother in law's inlaws) worked with me at my job -- one from the late 70's. You think that if I lied about my husband that any one of them wouldn't say "What the fuck Ruth?" oh my stars! how fucking stupid can one COWARDLY person be?

Perhaps this person is a filthy dirty racist and can't conceive that a black man was in the Special Forces.

Well, Mr. or Madam COWARD who can't even leave their name -- you accuse me of heaping abuse on my estranged sister -- why don't you ask her of the $700.00 she stole from me? Or the beads she swiped off my mother's wedding dress (that belonged to me) or the false police reports she made against me, or the many phone calls she made to my employer in 1994-95 with lies to get me fired, and again in 2012? In 2012 she even bragged about doing that on the Huffington Post.

Or the time she called child abuse on herself? Yes - she did. She called Child Protective Services, gave MY name as the caller, and proceeded to accuse MY fiance as the person abusing her children.

Really, I'm going to call Child Protective Services, give them my name and name my own fiance as a child molestor. Give me a break.

My old blog had scans of the actual police and court documents about that -- that proved that Joan Wheeler, now known as Doris Sippel, lied to police, the courts about me.

I also scanned handwritten and typed letters (with their envelopes) that Joan Wheeler wrote to my future mother in law telling her garbage about me. AND notes to my fiance (now husband) that he should break up with me.

AND I also scanned a letter that Joan/Doris sent to me stating that my fiance had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant -- when the house was vacant.

I tell you now Mr. or Madam COWARD -- you are an excellent example of what my last post was about -- you think that because you are adopted (I assume you are because you sound like one of Joan/Doris' abusive adoptee buddies) that you can heap abuses on other people and try to get away with it because you wear your sad story of adoption as a badge.

AND furthermore, if an adoptee is proved to be a liar or an abusive person, other wacko adoptees get on board and refuse to admit it. Again, they think that a fellow adoptee HAS that 'I'm an adoptee, so I can abuse people and get away with it" badge.

I say 'wacko' adoptees, because any person who is shown an actual police or court document proving that one adopteed LIED and they refuse to believe it -- they ARE wacko. And from late 2009, when I started my old blog, up to today, when an adoptee comes online and starts to tell me that I'm the liar when they refuse to see the factual truth for themselves, I simply have to just label them as 'wacko.'

Come forth COWARD  - don't be scared to share your name. What are you ashamed of? A hit and run attack with no name attached is BULLSHIT and you therefore are shit.

No never mind -- don't even bother to come forth. Your words are shit -- just like you.

Keeping Garbage People Away from My Funeral - Joan Wheeler (Doris Sippel) and my exBFF are BANNED from mine

I was trying to share and comment on a post, and while I was typing, facebook yanked it away from me. (damn you facebook). It was about the fact that before he passed, John McCain left instructions that Trump be banned from his funeral. The caption on the accompanying meme said "what kind of garbage do you have to be to be banned from a funeral?

 Well, I totally understand it. I have already left instructions that the exBFF and The Nameless One are to be tossed out if they show up to anything regarding me when I pass. (wake, funeral, etc). I don't care if they cause a ruckus. I know they will. Those two are such lowlifes that they will open their ugly big mouths. They can't keep their hateful feelings to themselves.  

 The Nameless One created a ruckus at the funeral home during a private viewing (granted by the family) of my dad. Started arguing with the employees of the funeral home.  

The exBFF started yelling in the entrance of the CHURCH at my mother-in-law's sister at my mother-in-law's service. She also called me on the phone the day after my father's funeral and trashed him - my father, who liked and respected her.  

The exBFF and The Nameless One - the adopted out one who has caused much trouble for her birth family and her adopted family are both garbage and should be tossed out as such.