Forbidden Family-the lies by Doris Sippel are set straight here by Ruth Sippel Pace (LadyMoondancer)
Exposing the lies Doris Sippel/Joan Wheeler spreads about her birth family ---- ---- -If someone can tell lies about me, I can tell the truth about me. -- This blog is also about anything and everything that interests me.
Saturday, May 30, 2026
Experiencing trauma does not give you the right to dump on others who did nothing to you.
Monday, August 11, 2025
Tuesday, August 23, 2022
Joan/Doris is old news, irrelevant, boring.
a post I made on facebook earlier this evening.
my facebook intro:
A few years ago, my sister Gert made a facebook page called "Duped by adoption & An Adopted Woman's Struggle For Identity; a book study" -- it was to replace our old Wordpress blogs. The other day, Gert made the decision to delete the page, as we no longer have a use for it. I wrote the following post a little while ago.
Despite my finding the other day that about 6 months ago Joan/Doris got called out on facebook for busting up a marriage, the time has
come to put her where she belongs: away from us.
The Notice:
Notice from Ruth Sippel Pace
this page is in the process of being deleted.
Joan Mary Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel is irrelevant.
When her book was published in 2009, we had blogs to refute every damn lie that was in her wretched book. Those blogs were taken down by a series of trumped up complaints by Joan and one of her cronies. Doesn't matter - because we accomplished what we set out to do: get that book pulled from publication.
In the book, Joan/Doris twisted several stories regarding me and her - specifically in our court proceedings about harassment. In the book she says this and that -- I submitted the actual court documents to the publisher of her book. They reviewed everything and pulled the book from publication.
When Joan/Doris signed a contract with them, she stated her book was non-fiction and everything in it was true and factual. When I presented the proof that she lied about me in the book - the publisher's legal team ruled that she violated her contract.
Years ago, Joan/Doris had 3 fantasies.
1. that her book would be a million dollar best-seller
2. her book would be made into a blockbuster Hollywood movie
3. because of those two 'successes', she would be in demand as a top speaker at adoption conferences all over the world.
When her book was pulled from publication, all three of her fantasies came crashing down on her.
Joan/Doris and others like her describe themselves as 'angry adoptees' - those that are so pissed that they were adopted they can't see reason - in regards to anything. When I had my main blog up and running, and I would relate an action of harassment by Joan/Doris against me (like stealing money from me) - her 'angry adoptee' friends would come running and leave obscene comments on my page, and accuse me of not respecting Joan/Doris.
I countered - if a person steals from me, and I outed them, you would say "You go girl. Don't let them walk all over you." But if that person happens to be an adoptee, you think I'm wrong for NOT letting them walk all over me. This is what I mean that these angry adoptees can not and will not see reason. They were adopted. They were wronged. Therefore the world owes them everything. The world should not be angry at them when they misbehave. They think that anyone who disagrees with them should be treated like dirt. BULLSHIT.
So all this happened more than 10 years ago. What has changed? The adoptees that DO see reason, that DO object to people treating others like dirt, have distanced themselves from Joan/Doris.
She struggles to get any books published. I don't know what else she does as I don't care about her. She has been neutralized. She has actually finally done what I started to accomplish back in October 2009, in answering a comment she put out on a national news website about adoption. --That she refrains from putting out information about us, her birth sisters.
I had repeatedly said all over the internet - all Joan/Doris has to say is, "I was given up for adoption when my mother died and my father had child care issues. When I turned 18, I was found by my older siblings. We had a nice reunion, but then things turned sour. I do not associate with my birth sisters. " And for the past few years, that is essentially what she has been doing - maybe not in those same words.
I myself do have a blog via Google's Blogger, that I had intended to replace my main blog from Wordpress. I was thinking about copying and pasting old blogposts here and there, but frankly, since I've retired, I got better things to do. And so does Gert, who had started this page also as a replacement for her old Wordpress blog.
I will continue to keep my Google Blooger blog, in case Joan/Doris starts her shit again. But really, there's nothing she can do to me now. In the past, she liked to call my job with lies - trying to get me fired. Ha.! I'm retired now, I took away her favorite toy.
Joan/Doris is old news, irrelevant, boring. And as I said above, we did what we set out to do: get that book that was full of lies about me pulled from publication. She did make two more editions of it, changing things around - making two more versions of 'the truth' - and how can there be more versions of a truth? I'm not talking about personal perceptions, but actual FACTS. She can't say she had an order of protection against me for the duration of one year, when the actual court document reads SIX MONTHS.
Facts are facts. Lies are Lies. She got caught in her lies, and the publisher saw the lies, and saw the factual court document and pulled the book.
So, she self-published it and hawks it on amazon. She's not making any millions from it. Not many people are buying it. And those that do - if they can't see beyond the crap she wrote about me - her own admission to being a child abuser and an alcoholic, and a bar-hopping tramp - well if they like that kind of story-telling, they are as bad as she is.
And with that, Gert and I bid you all a fond farewell.
We have peace and joy in our lives. I doubt that Joan/Doris does. We don't really care. And we hope anyone reading this has peace and joy in your lives as well.
Live Long and Prosper.
ps oh, by the way, in deleting stuff from the facebook page, I came across this post that I made in 2015.
It is interesting that the other day, a troll came here and tried to shut us up. But on her own facebook page she put up a meme and left
this comment: "Never let people bully you into not telling your story."
But that was exactly what that troll was trying to do to us - BULLY us into silence. And while the troll was busy admonishing us and telling us to
behave, the troll stooped to calling us names. (how childish).
I did engage in a conversation with the troll - but will not do so in the future. All trolls will be dealt with swiftly. If you want to
engage in an adult conversation, fine, but bullying and name-calling will not be tolerated.
Getting back to the present: in regards to bullying trolls -- this is exactly why comments have been turned off on this blog that you are reading now.
I don't have to take anyone's shit.
Thursday, July 14, 2022
I do not want certain people around me.
THIS.
This is why I tried to distance myself from both Doris/Joan and the exBFF.
And the narcissists that they are weren’t having
it.
Both decided to ‘punish’ me.
Both had always used me as a doormat - and when I pulled that doormat out, they weren’t going to have it.
It took a few years and some serious blows, but I finally got the
exBFF out of my life. That was 10 years ago. I have been very happy the past 10 years. Even Doris/Joan has finally stopped her crap.
I don’t know if she ever stopped her stupid calling my job trying to get me fired.
The last time I was called down to Human Resources they told me they had investigated me for the ‘computer fraud’ that Doris/Joan told them I was doing - and they found me innocent. (they can track every key-stroke I did).
At
that meeting, I told them, “you know I’m innocent. I’ve been working here for many years, you know what kind of worker I am. You know my reputation. You know that Joan Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel has been harassing
and stalking me for years - and calling you since 1995 with stupid false accusations - you have investigated those false claims and have found me innocent. Frankly, I don’t want to hear it anymore. She calls again, YOU call
your legal team and handle her. I’ve had her in court several times, but they won’t do a damn thing because she’s related to me. I just want to be left alone to do my job.”
And when the exBFF tried that nonsense as
well to ‘punish’ me for removing her from my facebook (how childish) - and I was called down to HR again, (after having been investigated and found innocent), I told them the same thing. I told them if they get any more bullshit
calls and they investigate me, and find me innocent, I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I told them to get their legal team on it.
Were any more calls made by either the exBFF or Joan/Doris? I don’t know. If they
did call, I wasn’t told.
That was all back in 2012 and 2013. I retired in 2015. My husband had retired a few years before me. We are now enjoying our retirement.
The meme says "My whole mindset has changed. I don't have the energy to do certain things or be around certain people anymore. I'm at the
point in my life now where if something feels like it's draining my energy or fighting with my peace of mind, I'm not dealing with it, at all. I'll walk away from that shit in a heartbeat."
The only reason I’m spending energy relating these things here on my blog, is to get these things off my chest. And I know these two
abusers (Joan/Doris, the exBFF) are such whiny losers, narcissists and abusers, they won’t accept that I DON’T WANT THEM AROUND ME.
Proof: Just a few months ago, March 2022, the exBFF contacted me on Instagram, wanting to be my friend again. (see recent older posts on
this blog). Her message to me included her phone number which I called and left a voicemail telling her in no uncertain terms that I want nothing to do with her EVER!
The last line of the meme: “I'll walk away from that shit in a heartbeat.”
STAY AWAY FROM ME FRANCINE - YOU ARE DEAD TO ME. GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE.
Monday, March 14, 2022
To My exBFF
To my exBFF
This is what I received via Instagram messages on Friday, March 11, 2022 plus a notification that this person - initials FJM was 'following me' on Instagram.
This is my exBFF who 10 years took me to court for harassment after I sent her a letter of intervention - to get her to stop harassing ME. (leaving insulting messages to me on facebook, calling my job telling them I was accessing her medical records (they investigated and found me innocent). She is an actress, cried tears, she was the victim, oh boo-hoo. At one point in court - before the judge entered, she was arguing with the assistant DA assigned to her - and started swearing at him - the bailiff told her to shut up - she didn't - she got tossed out - while she passed me sitting there, she threatened me "I'll beat your ass." I immediately waved my hand at the bailiff "excuse me, she just threatened me." The bailiffs came over - she started screaming as they tossed her out. They put her in a separate room - but everyone could her screaming like a banshee.
She was out of control - to the point she was told NOT to return to court. However, the judge, being sympathetic to 'those under the influence' turned around and gave me a one year restraining order - I was to stay away from her for one year. No problem! I'd been trying to get away from her for 2 years!
So imagine my surprise when I see this on my Instagram the other day.
I answered her and told her I want nothing to do with her. She then blocked me. Fine.
I thought about it and realized, I never got a chance to say what I really wanted to say, and that's the purpose of this blog post. Because she blocked me before I got the screenshot - it comes up as "Instagram User" - that's ok. In this graphic here, I blanked out her phone number - but I have the original with the phone number intact.
I'm not falling for her boo-hooing. And I'm NOT letting her back into my life.
So now, dear exBFF - here is my response. Please read it and would you understand (this blog post) that I never wanted your 'understanding' of me (what's to understand? I'm not that complicated a person) I never said that - what I wanted was your RESPECT - which you never gave. As outlined below:
at the bottom of her message - cut off here - she wrote "Ruth and Francine FOREVER. To which I say: Ruth and Francine NEVER!
Dear FJM
You say you ‘didn’t understand me’ as well as I thought you should. Okay, I will enlighten you.
Do you remember when I first got the red van that belonged to John’s mother? And you didn’t have a car? I let you take the van - gave you the keys - to go grocery shopping or whatever you wanted. No questions asked.
Fast forward to when that van got
smacked and sat in my driveway and you got a car and it was in my name for you to have cheaper car insurance. You had a vehicle, I did not. You never took me shopping nor handed the keys to me so I could do my errands.
I
gave you the payment page from the insurance company that listed the amounts due and the payment dates. A couple of months later, I asked if you had sent the payment in - you claimed you ‘lost’ the paper. (but you didn’t
tell me). (o, how ‘adult’). So I said ‘just give me the money. If I’m sleeping when you drop it off, put it in an envelope and put it in the mailbox.”
One day, you came over - with a friend sitting in your
car - a white lady - I don’t know who she was - you didn’t bother to introduce us. You handed me the money and took off.
So, I’ve got the cash - I’ve got to get the cash into the checking account. The next day,
I took TWO BUSES downtown to my credit union behind City Hall to put the cash into my checking account. Then I wrote out a check (checks had to bought - packets of 400 cost about $10.00). --- not being petty, but I worked hard for everything I own. I put the check in an envelope put
on a stamp (stamps aren’t free). And mailed it off in time so that MY credit wouldn’t be affected. Here I am, with no car - taking TWO BUSES to take care of an insurance payment on a car that I don’t own and YOU
say you don’t ‘understand?’
And then a few months later, you call me up and you were DRUNK and bitching about your boyfriend and you let slip that his car was in your
son’s name. I waited a couple of days and called you up - and you were sober - and I told you what you said. And I told you that you had 30 days to get your car out of my name. You have your boyfriend’s car in your
son’s name - you could put YOUR car in your son’s name as well.
So here’s to understanding: You USED me - I let you put your car in my name, but you couldn’t be adult enough to take care of the payments. You couldn't go get a money order, slap a stamp on the envelope and take care of it. And
yet you would brag on the phone about this or that you bought and then end the conversation “I’m not like Joni.” Why put that in there? Because you knew you were EXACTLY like Joni. - You are both users and abusers. And you couldn't even bother to take me, your 'friend' shopping - not once! As for all your other 'friends' -- WHO was there after the incident in 1996 - ME and Melissa. Your other so-called friends dropped you. WHO hand-delivered you to de-tox (at your request)? Me. You never once thanked me. Never. I was the one who tried to get you out of the bottle, off the drugs, get you healthy - and what did I get in return? A kick in the teeth.
And that was real nice of you - trashing my father to me on the phone the day after his funeral. Saying he was wrong for doing something in 1956 - three years before you were even born. Are you of the Sippel family? How dare you criticize a parental decision he made. I was telling you of how Joan got a friend of hers to desecrate my father's funeral guest book, and all you had to say was he wrong to give her up for adoption????
I never disrespected you or your family when your father died. And speaking of which - the whole year of 2003, when John lost his grandfather, then his mother, then I lost my ex-husband/friend, then my cousin, then my brother -- John and I were grieving - and every other day, YOU are leaving messages on our answering machine "I miss my father." yeah, I get that - but did you EVER stop and think of the pain John and I were going through? FIVE deaths in two months time? Not once did you call and say "how are you guys doing?" Nope, true to narcissistic form - every phone call was about YOU. Never about me and John.
And when John had his heart surgery - I told you that afternoon when I was leaving the hospital that I would be sleeping on the couch, after watching Star Trek Enterprise at 9pm - and that I didn't want to be disturbed. At 9:30pm, here you are calling, blubbering (drunk) - "I didn't know how much John meant to me until this afternoon" - uh, why were you calling AFTER I said 'don't call?' I needed to have the phone line open in case the hospital called me about MY husband. He stopped being your concern when you broke up with him in 1983, 20 years prior. I couldn't have one damn night - worrying about my husband, without your drunken interference.
And
when unknowingly, you and Joan played ‘tag team’ and both attacked me in 2012 - both of you calling my job to get me fired - I had the same lawyer and the same manager at work - and they both told me the same exact thing:
“Ruth, you got to learn to stay away from crazy people.” And I told them - “I’m trying - I’ve been trying for years to get both of them out of my life.”
You didn't like it when T. called your job - what makes you think I would have been jumping in joy when you did it to me. Hence the letter I wrote you. Truths you didn't want to face and went to the extreme and put the final coffin nail in our friendship.
I got you out of my life once - in 2005 - but I
made a mistake and let you back in in 2010. I won’t repeat that mistake - you are out of my life and you will NEVER be in it again.
Stop with your ridiculous little-girl bs in your message “Ruth and F ...FOREVER”
with the cutesy little hearts and flowers emoticons. We are not in 6th grade. Grow up.
Also your whole message (again) was all about ... YOU (everything is always all about you) “How I miss you” “My brother has died.” ”I hope to see you before
I leave this life.” And you also put that guilt trip in there: “Life is too short.” (you should have thought about that one 10 years ago when you were busy trying to destroy me, but ended up destroying our friendship).
Your half-ass apology “I'm sorry for not understanding you, when you thought I should have” was more bs - and putting
it all back on me - that I, Ruth, was in the wrong for thinking you should have understood me.
I didn’t need ‘understanding’ as much as I need RESPECT - and that is something you NEVER gave me. You walked all
over me - treated me like a doormat and when I spoke up you dismissed me - you left a horribly insulting message on facebook about my husband - and now, for some reason, you’re feeling sorry for yourself - and you ‘miss’
me and John.
Yes, me and John, and John's brother - the three people in this world who always had your back. And yes, you USED E. as well. He told me you were pestering him for his pain pills. (did you steal from him like you stole from me?) Yes, I'm aware you stole 3 hydrocodones from me. I used to keep the bottle in the kitchen and I got tired of you coming over and asking me for them. You would say "do you know what kind of a buzz you get when you take these with beer?" uh, no, I don't - because I take those things responsibly - I told you several times I kept them for medical emergencies - in case John and I broke a tooth or sprained an ankle and had to wait to see a doctor. Finally one day, when you were on the way over - I moved the bottle into the bathroom - and when you left - I went in and counted them - and 3 were gone. STEALING from a friend? I NEVER stole a thing from you - but this is how you 'understood' me? My understanding is gross disrespect from you.
Where’s the damn apology for calling my job? Never mind, I don’t need it nor want it. Your lies didn’t work. Just like it didn’t
work when Joan pulled that crap. And now that I’m retired - I’ve taken away your plaything.
And now - take heed of this: LEAVE ME ALONE. I do not want now or in the future - you in my life.
AND if John or I should go before you do - instructions have been told to various members of my family - that if you or her show up at the funeral home -- both of you will be escorted OUT.
You called me up the evening of his heart surgery, boo-hooing
- “I didn’t know how much John meant to me until this afternoon.” Yet 9 years later, you’re writing shit on facebook, calling him a ‘broke-ass man’ who lives in the deep ghetto.
And don't bother trying to press charges on me - cos you're going to look awful silly - you managed to get a restraining order against someone, then turn around and contact them on Instagram. I have a printout and screen shot of your contact of me on Instagram - and those will be shown to the proper authorities if needs be.
Besides, this post is not to harass you - but to answer YOUR summons - and to explain fully - once and for all - why we will NEVER be friends again. I do not trust you.
Please - LEAVE ME ALONE. If you are having guilt feelings, or 'missing me' - that is for you to resolve. I can not help you. I do not WANT to help you. LEAVE ME ALONE.
Ruth and Francine NEVER again. YOU destroyed a near 30 year friendship with your booze, your drugs, your selfishness. fuck off.
for more on this topic, see the following posts - click on the titles.
I have peace - why would I want a disruptive person in my life again? March 15, 2022
Tuesday, August 27, 2019
About the recent coward comments I received on this blog.
I did read the first cowardly comment that I received yesterday, and answered it in this post:
If you believe your words, if you are passionate about what you have to say, your position on something, there is no need to hide. If you lack the courage to speak plainly and intelligently don't even waste my time. Because you've already made up your mind and I've heard it all before. From angry adoptees who want to shove their opinions down mine and everyone else's throats. With no thought of all of any kind of debate. With TYPICAL 'angry adoptees' it's 'their way or no way.' -- And I'm not even talking about the whys or causes or abuses of the institution of adoption. I am well aware of legitimate concerns of adoptees, their separation from their birth family, loss of identity, falsified birth certificates, etc. This blog has nothing to do with any of that. And don't even bother to lecture me to 'get educated.' I did all that - I researched it, I got educated way back in the 70's.
Thursday, April 4, 2019
brain dead anti-adopters who think Joan Wheeler, now known as Doris Sippel is squeeky clean are deluded idiots.
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
archival blog post from January 2011 - a letter sent to Joan/Doris' therapist, and detailing the events and actions of Joan/Doris after the death of my father.
It contains 3 blog posts from January 2011, detailing the events and actions of Joan/Doris after the death of my father.
650 Ave
Buffalo, New York 14222



