Experiencing trauma does not give you the right to dump on others who did nothing to you.

Both Joan/Doris and the exBFF underwent trauma/hurts. I get it. When the exBFF was hurt - I was one of the few who stood by her side. What did I get in return? Lies, disrespect. THEFT (stole pain pills from my bathroom cabinet). 

Joan/Doris' blog and her libelous book lists her numerous hurts - some real, some exaggerated, some fabricated.

Both these women chose to go out of their way to hurt me. Both of them chose to call my job with lies to get me fired. Each time a call was made to my employer, they checked it out and determined the calls were made to slander me. They checked out my performance on my job and found the calls to be false. They knew I wasn't doing what the lies said.

And that is why - no matter what they try to say or justify what they did - neither of them will be in my life again. 

 

What caused me to turn my back on Joan/Doris and the exBBF - I closed the door on both of them.

 

Once a snake, always a snake - Joan/Doris and Fran: snakes.

 

In 2012, Francine called my job to get me fired. She claimed I was violating HPPA by looking up her medical records.

1. My sign on information - my password - got me only to a certain portion of the hospital computer system - only that portion that allowed me to chart patient’s vital signs, outputs, their ADLs (activities of daily living) and the tasks that I performed (doing my job).
I had access to ONLY the patients that I was assigned to. The charge nurse, who made out my assignment had to go in, select those patients, and assign my name to them.
Sometimes I would see on the grease board my assignment (Rooms 1 to 10, for example). I would see Mr. So and So is in room 2. I took him to the bathroom. I go to check off that I took him to the bathroom, but the charge nurse hadn’t assigned my name to him yet, so I COULD NOT ACCESS HIS CHART TO PUT IN THE INFORMATION.
As soon as she assigned my name in the computer to that patient, then and only then, could I access his chart to do my documentation.
Also the patient’s chart that I could access ONLY had the areas that the hospital deemed that I, as a nurse aide/PCA, needed to do my job. Other people had access to more of the patient chart, as per what their job function was.
If Francine was NOT on my assigned patient list (and she never was), THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD ACCESS HER MEDICAL RECORDS.

2. My employer’s  COMPUTER SECURITY TEAM TRACKED EVERY KEYSTROKE I PERFORMED.

3. When she called the hospital - they investigated and found me innocent - because of all of the above.

4. Francine herself worked at another hospital for a couple of years. She knows these things - she herself got fired because she violated HPPA - she knows how hospitals work, and how their computer security systems work. So her calling my employer was an out and out LIE - and trying to get me fired, so I could lose my source of income.

Joan Wheeler/Doris Sippel also would call my job with lies to get me fired. And again, I was investigated, and found innocent - again for the same reasons above. 

Both Joan/Doris and Francine are snakes. They have both been out of my life for 10 years now - and they will remain OUT of my life. Because I do not trust them. I know them too well.

Francine contacted me on Instagram a few months ago, wanting back into my life.
OH HELL NO.

I do not want certain people around me.

 

THIS.
This is why I tried to distance myself from both Doris/Joan and the exBFF.
And the narcissists that they are weren’t having it.
Both decided to ‘punish’ me.
Both had always used me as a doormat - and when I pulled that doormat out, they weren’t going to have it.

It took a few years and some serious blows, but I finally got the exBFF out of my life. That was 10 years ago. I have been very happy the past 10 years. Even Doris/Joan has finally stopped her crap.

I don’t know if she ever stopped her stupid calling my job trying to get me fired. The last time I was called down to Human Resources they told me they had investigated me for the ‘computer fraud’ that Doris/Joan told them I was doing - and they found me innocent. (they can track every key-stroke I did).

At that meeting, I told them, “you know I’m innocent. I’ve been working here for many years, you know what kind of worker I am. You know my reputation. You know that Joan Wheeler aka Doris Michol Sippel has been harassing and stalking me for years - and calling you since 1995 with stupid false accusations - you have investigated those false claims and have found me innocent. Frankly, I don’t want to hear it anymore. She calls again, YOU call your legal team and handle her. I’ve had her in court several times, but they won’t do a damn thing because she’s related to me. I just want to be left alone to do my job.”

And when the exBFF tried that nonsense as well to ‘punish’ me for removing her from my facebook (how childish) - and I was called down to HR again, (after having been investigated and found innocent), I told them the same thing. I told them if they get any more bullshit calls and they investigate me, and find me innocent, I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I told them to get their legal team on it.

Were any more calls made by either the exBFF or Joan/Doris? I don’t know. If they did call, I wasn’t told.

That was all back in 2012 and 2013. I retired in 2015. My husband had retired a few years before me. We are now enjoying our retirement.

The meme says "My whole mindset has changed. I don't have the energy to do certain things or be around certain people anymore. I'm at the point in my life now where if something feels like it's draining my energy or fighting with my peace of mind, I'm not dealing with it, at all. I'll walk away from that shit in a heartbeat."

The only reason I’m spending energy relating these things here on my blog, is to get these things off my chest. And I know these two abusers (Joan/Doris, the exBFF) are such whiny losers, narcissists and abusers, they won’t accept that I DON’T WANT THEM AROUND ME.

Proof: Just a few months ago, March 2022, the exBFF contacted me on Instagram, wanting to be my friend again. (see recent older posts on this blog). Her message to me included her phone number which I called and left a voicemail telling her in no uncertain terms that I want nothing to do with her EVER!

The last line of the meme: “I'll walk away from that shit in a heartbeat.”

STAY AWAY FROM ME FRANCINE - YOU ARE DEAD TO ME. GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE.

To My exBFF

 To my exBFF

This is what I received via Instagram messages on Friday, March 11, 2022  plus a notification that this person - initials FJM was 'following me' on Instagram.
This is my exBFF who 10 years took me to court for harassment after I sent her a letter of intervention - to get her to stop harassing ME. (leaving insulting messages to me on facebook, calling my job telling them I was accessing her medical records (they investigated and found me innocent). She is an actress, cried tears, she was the victim, oh boo-hoo. At one point in court - before the judge entered, she was arguing with the assistant DA assigned to her - and started swearing at him - the bailiff told her to shut up - she didn't - she got tossed out - while she passed me sitting there, she threatened me "I'll beat your ass." I immediately waved my hand at the bailiff "excuse me, she just threatened me." The bailiffs came over - she started screaming as they tossed her out. They put her in a separate room - but everyone could her screaming like a banshee.
She was out of control - to the point she was told NOT to return to court. However, the judge, being sympathetic to 'those under the influence' turned around and gave me a one year restraining order - I was to stay away from her for one year. No problem! I'd been trying to get away from her for 2 years!
So imagine my surprise when I see this on my Instagram the other day.
I answered her and told her I want nothing to do with her. She then blocked me. Fine.
I thought about it and realized, I never got a chance to say what I really wanted to say, and that's the purpose of this blog post. Because she blocked me before I got the screenshot - it comes up as "Instagram User" - that's ok. In this graphic here, I blanked out her phone number - but I have the original with the phone number intact.
I'm not falling for her boo-hooing. And I'm NOT letting her back into my life.
So now, dear exBFF - here is my response. Please read it and would you understand (this blog post) that I never wanted your 'understanding' of me (what's to understand? I'm not that complicated a person) I never said that - what I wanted was your RESPECT - which you never gave. As outlined below:

at the bottom of her message - cut off here - she wrote   "Ruth and Francine FOREVER. To which I say: Ruth and Francine NEVER!

Dear FJM
You say you ‘didn’t understand me’ as well as I thought you should. Okay, I will enlighten you.

Do you remember when I first got the red van that belonged to John’s mother? And you didn’t have a car? I let you take the van - gave you the keys - to go grocery shopping or whatever you wanted. No questions asked.

Fast forward to when that van got smacked and sat in my driveway and you got a car and it was in my name for you to have cheaper car insurance. You had a vehicle, I did not. You never took me shopping nor handed the keys to me so I could do my errands.

I gave you the payment page from the insurance company that listed the amounts due and the payment dates. A couple of months later, I asked if you had sent the payment in - you claimed you ‘lost’ the paper. (but you didn’t tell me). (o, how ‘adult’). So I said ‘just give me the money. If I’m sleeping when you drop it off, put it in an envelope and put it in the mailbox.”

One day, you came over - with a friend sitting in your car - a white lady - I don’t know who she was - you didn’t bother to introduce us. You handed me the money and took off.

So, I’ve got the cash - I’ve got to get the cash into the checking account. The next day, I took TWO BUSES downtown to my credit union behind City Hall to put the cash into my checking account. Then I wrote out a check (checks had to bought - packets of 400 cost about $10.00). --- not being petty, but I worked hard for everything I own.   I put the check in an envelope put on a stamp (stamps aren’t free). And mailed it off in time so that MY credit wouldn’t be affected. Here I am, with no car - taking TWO BUSES to take care of an insurance payment on a car that I don’t own and YOU say you don’t ‘understand?’

And then a few months later, you call me up and you were DRUNK and bitching about your boyfriend and you let slip that his car was in your son’s name. I waited a couple of days and called you up - and you were sober - and I told you what you said. And I told you that you had 30 days to get your car out of my name. You have your boyfriend’s car in your son’s name - you could put YOUR car in your son’s name as well.

So here’s to understanding: You USED me - I let you put your car in my name, but you couldn’t be adult enough to take care of the payments. You couldn't go get a money order, slap a stamp on the envelope and take care of it. And yet you would brag on the phone about this or that you bought and then end the conversation “I’m not like Joni.” Why put that in there? Because you knew you were EXACTLY like Joni. - You are both users and abusers. And you couldn't even bother to take me, your 'friend' shopping - not once! As for all your other 'friends' -- WHO was there after the incident in 1996 - ME and Melissa. Your other so-called friends dropped you. WHO hand-delivered you to de-tox (at your request)? Me. You never once thanked me. Never. I was the one who tried to get you out of the bottle, off the drugs, get you healthy - and what did I get in return? A kick in the teeth.

And that was real nice of you - trashing my father to me on the phone the day after his funeral. Saying he was wrong for doing something in 1956 - three years before you were even born. Are you of the Sippel family? How dare you criticize a parental decision he made. I was telling you of how Joan got a friend of hers to desecrate my father's funeral guest book, and all you had to say was he wrong to give her up for adoption???? 

I never disrespected you or your family when your father died. And speaking of which - the whole year of 2003, when John lost his grandfather, then his mother, then I lost my ex-husband/friend, then my cousin, then my brother -- John and I were grieving - and every other day, YOU are leaving messages on our answering machine "I miss my father." yeah, I get that - but did you EVER stop and think of the pain John and I were going through? FIVE deaths in two months time? Not once did you call and say "how are you guys doing?" Nope, true to narcissistic form - every phone call was about YOU. Never about me and John. 

And when John had his heart surgery - I told you that afternoon when I was leaving the hospital that I would be sleeping on the couch, after watching Star Trek Enterprise at 9pm - and that I didn't want to be disturbed. At 9:30pm, here you are calling, blubbering (drunk) - "I didn't know how much John meant to me until this afternoon" - uh, why were you calling AFTER I said 'don't call?'  I needed to have the phone line open in case the hospital called me about MY husband. He stopped being your concern when you broke up with him in 1983, 20 years prior. I couldn't have one damn night - worrying about my husband, without your drunken interference.

And when unknowingly, you and Joan played ‘tag team’ and both attacked me in 2012 - both of you calling my job to get me fired - I had the same lawyer and the same manager at work - and they both told me the same exact thing: “Ruth, you got to learn to stay away from crazy people.” And I told them - “I’m trying - I’ve been trying for years to get both of them out of my life.”

You didn't like it when T. called your job - what makes you think I would have been jumping in joy when you did it to me. Hence the letter I wrote you. Truths you didn't want to face and went to the extreme and put the final coffin nail in our friendship.

I got you out of my life once - in 2005 - but I made a mistake and let you back in in 2010. I won’t repeat that mistake - you are out of my life and you will NEVER be in it again.

Stop with your ridiculous little-girl bs in your message “Ruth and F  ...FOREVER” with the cutesy little hearts and flowers emoticons. We are not in 6^th grade. Grow up.

Also your whole message (again) was all about ... YOU (everything is always all about you)   “How I miss you” “My brother has died.” ”I hope to see you before I leave this life.”  And you also put that guilt trip in there: “Life is too short.” (you should have thought about that one 10 years ago when you were busy trying to destroy me, but ended up destroying our friendship).

Your half-ass apology “I'm sorry for not understanding you, when you thought I should have” was more bs - and putting it all back on me - that I, Ruth, was in the wrong for thinking you should have understood me.

I didn’t need ‘understanding’ as much as I need RESPECT - and that is something you NEVER gave me. You walked all over me - treated me like a doormat and when I spoke up you dismissed me - you left a horribly insulting message on facebook about my husband - and now, for some reason, you’re feeling sorry for yourself - and you ‘miss’ me and John.

Yes, me and John, and John's brother - the three people in this world who always had your back. And yes, you USED E. as well. He told me you were pestering him for his pain pills. (did you steal from him like you stole from me?) Yes, I'm aware you stole 3 hydrocodones from me. I used to keep the bottle in the kitchen and I got tired of you coming over and asking me for them. You would say "do you know what kind of a buzz you get when you take these with beer?" uh, no, I don't - because I take those things responsibly - I told you several times I kept them for medical emergencies - in case John and I broke a tooth or sprained an ankle and had to wait to see a doctor. Finally one day, when you were on the way over - I moved the bottle into the bathroom - and when you left - I went in and counted them - and 3 were gone. STEALING from a friend? I NEVER stole a thing from you - but this is how you 'understood' me? My understanding is gross disrespect from you. 

Where’s the damn apology for calling my job? Never mind, I don’t need it nor want it. Your lies didn’t work. Just like it didn’t work when Joan pulled that crap. And now that I’m retired - I’ve taken away your plaything.

And now - take heed of this: LEAVE ME ALONE. I do not want now or in the future - you in my life.

AND if John or I should go before you do - instructions have been told to various members of my family - that if you or her show up at the funeral home -- both of you will be escorted OUT.

You called me up the evening of his heart surgery, boo-hooing - “I didn’t know how much John meant to me until this afternoon.” Yet 9 years later, you’re writing shit on facebook, calling him a ‘broke-ass man’ who lives in the deep ghetto.

And don't bother trying to press charges on me - cos you're going to look awful silly - you managed to get a restraining order against someone, then turn around and contact them on Instagram. I have a printout and screen shot of your contact of me on Instagram - and those will be shown to the proper authorities if needs be.

Besides, this post is not to harass you - but to answer YOUR summons - and to explain fully - once and for all -  why we will NEVER be friends again. I do not trust you. 

Please - LEAVE ME ALONE. If you are having guilt feelings, or 'missing me' - that is for you to resolve. I can not help you. I do not WANT to help you. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Ruth and Francine NEVER again. YOU destroyed a near 30 year friendship with your booze, your drugs, your selfishness. fuck off.

for more on this topic, see the following posts - click on the titles.

I deserve good company -- narcissists, users and abusers, troublemakers, people who thrive on chaos and drama - are not welcome in my life. March 21, 2022

I used to 'accept' things that I couldn't change. Or rather I used to think I COULDN'T change things. March 16, 2022

I have peace - why would I want a disruptive person in my life again? March 15, 2022 

An attack by a COWARD -- trying to tell me that I'm a liar.

especially when that 'lecture' is posted by someone who was too COWARDLY to leave their name. 

sooo -- some COWARD left a comment to my last post -- I will not publish it -- but this person dared to call ME a liar -- this person obviously went to my facebook page to gather  information. And accused me of lying when I say that my husband was a Navy Seal in Vietnam. I would publish my husbands DT214 form online except that it contains personal information. Why would I lie on facebook about something like that? My husband's brother and other immediate and extended family members (and in-laws of my brother in law) are friends of mine on facebook. AND three members of that family (my brother in law's inlaws) worked with me at my job -- one from the late 70's. You think that if I lied about my husband that any one of them wouldn't say "What the fuck Ruth?" oh my stars! how fucking stupid can one COWARDLY person be?

Perhaps this person is a filthy dirty racist and can't conceive that a black man was in the Special Forces.

Well, Mr. or Madam COWARD who can't even leave their name -- you accuse me of heaping abuse on my estranged sister -- why don't you ask her of the $700.00 she stole from me? Or the beads she swiped off my mother's wedding dress (that belonged to me) or the false police reports she made against me, or the many phone calls she made to my employer in 1994-95 with lies to get me fired, and again in 2012? In 2012 she even bragged about doing that on the Huffington Post.

Or the time she called child abuse on herself? Yes - she did. She called Child Protective Services, gave MY name as the caller, and proceeded to accuse MY fiance as the person abusing her children.

Really, I'm going to call Child Protective Services, give them my name and name my own fiance as a child molestor. Give me a break.

My old blog had scans of the actual police and court documents about that -- that proved that Joan Wheeler, now known as Doris Sippel, lied to police, the courts about me.

I also scanned handwritten and typed letters (with their envelopes) that Joan Wheeler wrote to my future mother in law telling her garbage about me. AND notes to my fiance (now husband) that he should break up with me.

AND I also scanned a letter that Joan/Doris sent to me stating that my fiance had gotten the next door neighbor pregnant -- when the house was vacant.

I tell you now Mr. or Madam COWARD -- you are an excellent example of what my last post was about -- you think that because you are adopted (I assume you are because you sound like one of Joan/Doris' abusive adoptee buddies) that you can heap abuses on other people and try to get away with it because you wear your sad story of adoption as a badge.

AND furthermore, if an adoptee is proved to be a liar or an abusive person, other wacko adoptees get on board and refuse to admit it. Again, they think that a fellow adoptee HAS that 'I'm an adoptee, so I can abuse people and get away with it" badge.

I say 'wacko' adoptees, because any person who is shown an actual police or court document proving that one adopteed LIED and they refuse to believe it -- they ARE wacko. And from late 2009, when I started my old blog, up to today, when an adoptee comes online and starts to tell me that I'm the liar when they refuse to see the factual truth for themselves, I simply have to just label them as 'wacko.'

Come forth COWARD  - don't be scared to share your name. What are you ashamed of? A hit and run attack with no name attached is BULLSHIT and you therefore are shit.

No never mind -- don't even bother to come forth. Your words are shit -- just like you.

brain dead anti-adopters who think Joan Wheeler, now known as Doris Sippel is squeeky clean are deluded idiots.

 

Recently Joan/Doris commented on an adoption group’s comment section. One anti-adoption person began singing Joan/Doris’ praises, to which I said to myself “oh brother!” and posted a comment that J/D is not such a squeeky clean person. I said that while I don’t care what she says about adoption, or what she does regarding her campaign in adoption and birth certificate reform,  I do take issue when she lies about my father, my family, and me.

My sister Gert was also commenting in the discussion, when all of a sudden, three anti-adoptees began arguing with us. In reviewing J/D’s comments on the thread and on her facebook page, it was clear she was telling them to go after Gert and me, egging them on, being their ‘puppet master.’ This is a tactic she has done before many times on the internet, when she can’t stand to see me and Gert speak our opinion. Then on a anti-adoption facebook page, one of those anti-adopters who was going after Gert and myself in the discussion, wrote about it, to which J/D commented, and a 4^th anti-adopter chimed in and claimed that Gert and I had been tormenting J/D ‘for years.’

To which I left a laughing fb emoticon. Right -- I’ve been ‘tormenting’ Joan? uh, no, it’s the other way around, J/D has been harassing me -- even to the point of calling my job with lies to get me fired (multiple times in 1994-95, and then starting up again in late 2012). I wrote about it in my former blog, to which J/D answered me via a comment on the internet site Huffington Post -- which I made a screenshot of, and is included in this blog post (see below).

In her comment, Joan/Doris publicly admitted to calling my employer and falsely accusing me (with absolutely no proof) of making phone calls and committing computer fraud.

 

 "you have used your employer's computers to read my blog and you have called from your employer for me to make appointments."

 

I will address the 2nd accusation first. When I took her to court for this harassment -- she testified on the stand that she received a phone call from my job's xray department around 10am -- and said that it was ME on the phone telling her to make an appointment.

WRONG - if the call was made at 10 am -- and from the xray department -- it COULD NOT HAVE BEEN ME. I worked 7pm to 7am -- and no, employees just don't waltz into a department, sit down at a desk and call someone. Hospital security cameras would have shown me doing this. There is no record of me doing this -- because I never did it.

Now for the first accusation -- K.H. has something called GUEST WIFI -- Visitors, patients, employees using their own cell phones and other devices and are legally sanctioned to use the guest WiFi. Patients bring in their laptops, and hook up to the guest WiFi.  I would always bring in my little Acer Netbook to work, to do writing and other things on my lunch break and use the guest WiFi. I didn't use my employee's computers. 

So if K.H.'s IP address showed up at Joan/Doris' blog -- THAT DOESN'T MEAN A DAMN THING. 

I have taken my netbook with me to various businesses, logged onto their guest WiFi and worked on my netbook, and surfed the net with it. I have done this as I waited while a new windshield was installed in my old van; when I was waiting while my van was inspected; while I was at the downtown public library; while I was waiting to have my van's oil changed; when I've stopped to have a cup of coffee; and while I was in the mall's food court waiting while John had his hair cut.

 Okay Joan/Doris -- here's a list of places that I've used guest Wifi at:

Barnes and Noble, Erie County Library (different branches), Delta Sonic, Transittown Dodge, Tim Horton's (different locations), Walden Galleria Mall, WalMart, Wegmans, Bj's, Home Depot, Excelsior Orthopedics, Buffalo Medical Group - and if those places showed up on your blog -- it doesn't mean I committed computer fraud --learn how the world of WiFi works.

Now go and call those businesses and tell them I went into their offices and used their computers to spy on you, and make a further asshole of yourself. Like you did with my former employer. (who did investigate me - because they had to - but found me innocent). You dumb paranoid braindead lying idiot. Grow some brains. And you dumb anti-adopters -- grow some brains, learn how to use 'critical thinking.'

Here is the screenshot of Joan/Doris’ comment on the Huffington Post from January 2013.