I do not accept being the bad guy because I stopped supporting someone who won't accept the consequences of their own bad choices in life.

 

All the years I 'gave a fuck' - I supported the exBFF - when she became a crime victim, I dropped everything, called in sick to my job to spend a couple nights at her apartment. 

I supported her when she got her face slashed by a pissed off wife, despite me knowing that she had been in the wrong by sending a perfumed thank you card to that wife's hubby. I didn't say anything, but as a wife, if some woman sends my hubby a PERFUMED card - uh, no, just NO! You just don't do that.
I did say when I saw her spray the perfume on the card, "Isn't G. married?" And F. says, "Not very happily."

I didn't say anything more, because I had said it before - YEARS before - that F. (the exBFF) needed to stop chasing married/attached men. Doesn't matter if they are 'happy' or not in their marriage/relationship - NO WOMAN HAS THE RIGHT TO STEP IN. 

I'm not condoning what the wife did in this situation - a crime is a crime - but F. brought it on herself. And she had prior experience in the matter - she had bedded a married man, and then subsequently had a fist fight with that wife. AND when the father of her child got out of jail, and moved in with F. and their child, 6 months later - he's cheating on F. F. was NOT happy that M. stepped into her territory - so why would she think that P. would be happy?

I also supported F. when she wanted to go to detox and asked for my help. I hand delivered her to detox, again using MY sick time from my job to do it. She went for counseling, and seemed to be gaining ground, but then backslid into the drugs again.

She came to my house and stole pain pills from me. She had her car in my name so she could get cheaper car insurance, but couldn't be adult enough to take care of the bill. Getting a money order, slapping a stamp on an envelope and mailing it in time. I didn't even have a car at the time - she would never take me grocery shopping. But stopped at my house one time - with a friend waiting in her car  - dropped the money off and ran before I could say - 'hey wait a minute! how about taking me downtown so I could deposit this in my checking account?' Nope. I had to take TWO BUSES to get downtown the next day to do it.

BUT the minute I spoke up - the minute I put up boundaries and insisted she adhere to those boundaries - I became the bad guy.

I sent her a letter of intervention - to get her to see she needed to get off the drugs, to stop getting her heart broken by chasing after men that were off limits. But she got 'offended' - blew up - ran downtown and fell onto her 'crime victim status' and crocodile tears and charged me with harassment because I dared bring up in my letter her face getting slashed. 

Yeah, I was now the bad guy. AFTER I said FUCK IT.

She is out of my life now. She did try to worm her way back into my life by contacting me on instagram saying she misses me, life is short, and blah blah blah. 

I sent the fucking bitch packing. And I have no regrets.