Truth. I had boundaries in place. Both Joan/Doris and the FJM, the exBFF, violated those boundaries.
But why was there the need for me to put boundaries in place? Common decency and respect for me shouldn't mean that I had to put boundaries
in place.
Joan/Doris lied to me continuously. Stole money from me. Refused to repay me. When I showed my legitimate reason to be angry over the
situation, she blew up, went ballistic and began her campaign of hate and retribution towards me.
The situation with the exBFF was a bit different, but she treated me like I was nothing. Just a piece of meat to be used and taken advantage
of. Worthy of gross disrespect. Continuously using me, lying to me, then resorting to stealing pain pills from a bottle in my bathroom. I was already tired and worn out from battling Joan/Doris. I didn't want to go through
it from another person, so I tried distancing myself from FJM.
What was her response? Long rambling nonsense messages on facebook (fueled by drugs). A crazed phone call from her the day after my father's
funeral, wherein she TRASHED my father. Both she and I had tenuous relationships with our fathers. I understood her feelings towards her father. And when he passed away in December 2002, I attended his funeral. I showed great
respect towards the entire family. FJM was distraught over her father's passing, despite her rocky relationship with him.
And the same for myself. I had an on-again, off-again estranged relationship with my father. But I also loved him. When we received the
call that he passed away in the hospital, my husband and I went to the hospital to join my family in his room to say our farewells. He had already made his plans, and everything was set. My husband served as one of his pallbearers.
Arrangements were made that Joan/Doris was to NOT be attendance at the funeral home while the family was there. She was told that she could
come to see him after we left. This was due to her continuous gross disrespect to all of us. She did come, and brought her current boyfriend, who under her instructions, wrote a disgusting message of hate in my father's funeral
guest book. - an eyewitness, and old friend of mine and my one sister from when we were teenagers - witnessed it and called us to alert us to it. We took care of the situation before our stepmother saw it.
I had not called FJM to tell her that my father had died. She read about it in the newspaper the next day and called me. I told her what
Joan/Doris and her boyfriend had done. FJM said that my father should never have given FJM up for adoption. Excuse me, but this was not the time to debate my father's past actions. And did that justify the desecration of his
funeral book? I grew angry and told her it didn't matter if she was adopted or not, she had no right to get someone to do that. FJM began arguing with me. I hung up on her.
So was I supposed to put a boundary beforehand?
um, so listen up -- when my father passes away, you will not call me up and debate his past actions with me.
NO -- decent human beings understand that when a person is grieving, you do not find fault with or criticize the person they are grieving.
I could have found fault with FJM's father. I could have brought those up to her while she was grieving. But I didn't. Because you just don't do that. -- But she did. And got the phone slammed down on her.
She chose to get 'offended' and ramped up her dumbass comments on facebook. I unfriended her. Then she got ‘offended’ again, and calls
me up one night demanding to know why I took her off my facebook page. I was like, what - are we in 6th grade? I didn’t want to talk to her, so I changed the greeting on my answering machine that told her to stop bothering
me, stop calling me, that if she kept calling me I would report her to the phone company.
She called again and listened to that message and apparently when another boundary was put in place (stop calling my house) she went ballistic.
The next day, Sunday, she called my job, finagled someone to find out my immediate supervisor's name, and the next day, Monday, she called my manager and told her that I was printing out her medical records.
This was a serious accusation. In violation of federal HPPA patient privacy laws.
My employer investigated me. Guess what? They found me innocent. Firstly, because my computer signon info gave me limited access to patients.
I could only access the charts of the patients that I was assigned to on my current workday. If a patient was assigned to me on one day, but not the next, that next day -- I couldn't access their chart. AND I was given access
only to a certain part of their chart - I could not access their medical history. Since FJM was NEVER assigned to me - I had ZERO access to her chart.
Furthermore, my employer could track EVERY KEYSTROKE I performed on the computer on my job.
Why did FJM call my job with this accusation? Because she thought I would get fired.
See, the same thing happened to her some years before. She was working at a different hospital and signed out xrays for her sister in law.
When the sister in law realized what had happened, she made a complaint to the hospital. FJM got called down to HR. And instead of saying 'well, I signed out her xrays last year, because she asked me, so I did it again, cos
she needed them for an upcoming doctor appointment, so I didn't know there would be a problem." she created a problem.
The HPPA laws were new - just put in place a couple of months before she signed out the xrays the second time. In my opinion, the sister
in law shouldn't have made the complaint, but it was her decision and her right to do so.
So, instead of FJM telling her employer she made a mistake - and probably would have just drawn a reprimand -- she went ballistic in the
office. (She called me up and proudly told what she did).
They threatened her with disciplinary action - job loss. Her attitude didn't help. She had stood up so fast and hard, the chair went flying
- she was screaming that she would kick her sister in law's ass. She was told then, that she was indeed fired. Well, duh, when threatened with disciplinary action, the correct course would be to say ,’sorry, it won’t happen
again.’ But nope, she chose another route.
She stormed out of the office. She went to her work station and grabbed her purse and personal belongings and left before hospital
security got to her work station.
Meanwhile, hospital officials were alarmed at her threat, and called Buffalo Police and the sister in law that a threat had been made.
So instead of feeling remorse at what she did - or at least confusion over the newly instated patient privacy laws, she went ballistic
and called me up and trashed her sister in law - who had 'caused her to lose her job.' - uh, no, T. didn't cause FJM to lose her job. All FJM had to do was say "well, I didn't realize that I couldn't do that. But since you
say I shouldn't, it won't happen again." The person who caused FJM to lose her job was FJM herself.
So fast forward to the time she called MY job to report me for violating patient privacy laws. As I explained above, my employer investigated
me and found me innocent. I did not lose my job. But what is troubling is that seeing how violating the HPPA laws caused her to lose her job, that's what she wanted for me. WHY? Because I took her off my facebook page?
I was friggin paying a mortgage. When this happened, in 2012, I had been at my job for 40 years - and racking up a good pension. Which when
I retired in 2015, I began receiving. I am currently getting a very good monthly pension payment, along with my very good Social Security. By trying to get me fired in 2012, she jeopardized my pension, my home, and my future.
Not that I was ever worried about that - why? BECAUSE I NEVER COMMITTED ANY COMPUTER FRAUD ON MY JOB - despite what FJM and Joan/Doris
like to spread around and then call my job with lies to get me fired.
Who the hell does that to other people? Vindictive, jealous little evil bitches - that's who. They look over at my life - a secure marriage
with a good man. A homeowner, someone who had respect at her job - and they look at their own miserable failed lives - and instead of lifting themselves up out their misery - they choose to break unmade boundaries of decency
and respect - and try to destroy me and my life.
But, they failed. And the mere fact that they tried - makes me see them for what and who they are and always were - pretenders, manipulators,
liars, thieves, disgusting pieces of crap - not worthy of being in my life and around me.
In 2022, the exBFF contacted me on instagram, wanting to be friends with me. I sent her packing. Why the hell would I want that disgusting
person in my life again?
I have peace and serenity in my life. I surround myself with good people. I spend my days gardening, improving my home, (mortgage is paid off completely). I like reading books, writing fan fiction, fooling
around on facebook, I do fun things. I like to play computer games. I spend time with my cat. He likes chasing bubbles, and my husband and I both like to blow the soap bubble on the porch with him.
I go out on outings. Just the other day, my cousin and her husband, and I went to LilyDale, NY to see a fan presentation by actress Melody Thomas Scott of the soap opera "The Young and the Restless."
And in a couple of days, that cousin, her husband, and another cousin, and a couple of other friends of ours, will be having our annual
daytrip to LilyDale, NY.
And me and some of my cousins have started our own paranormal investigation group. Yes, I am a 'ghost hunter.'
My life is good. My husband and I just celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary. I have a full, rich life, with several hobbies. I do not
choose to have hateful and hate-filled people in my life. That is my boundary - violate it - try to violate it - and you can go straight to hell for all I care.
