What does 'Grey Rock' mean in dealing with narcissists?

 

What does 'Grey Rock' mean in dealing with narcissists?

In theory, Grey Rock is a method that's supposed to force toxic people and abusive partners to seek drama elsewhere. It means to be as boring as a grey rock, which supposedly compels toxic people to find you so dull, that they cannot get their drama feed from you. 

I guess I went Grey Rock with my narc 'best friend' who I always knew was conceited and a bit over-bearing. She also had turned to drugs to cope with having been the victim of a violent crime. I hand delivered her to detox, at her request, but she stayed with the counseling for only a month.

Her drug use caused her to do inappropriate things - like leaving long rambling non-sensical messages on my facebook. When she butted in a fb conversation I was having with a couple of my cousins, she told us to 'shut the F up.'

I unfriended her, but didn't block her. (grey rock).

She had already been banned from my house for stealing pain pills, now I was slowly banning her all together.

Why? Because she was my best friend, and I loved her. I didn't want to lose her.

But the day after my father's funeral (I didn't tell her about it, she found out and called me) She trashed my father to me on the phone. 

A year went by and one night she calls my house leaving a message on my answering machine - nasty - asking why I took her off my facebook? She kept calling from 11pm to 2am. I mostly ignored her until I had enough and told her I was reporting her to the phone company.

The next day, she called my job with lies to get me fired.

She knew that was my narc sister's favorite way to stalk and harass me.

I wrote my exBFF a letter of intervention, telling her things the bestest of friends should do - told her truths she didn't want to hear. She took me to court for harassment!

And the judge - turned around and issued a one year order of protection to me - ordering me to stay away from her!

It was so unfair - but at least the final cord had been cut.

I saw all the mistakes I made using 'grey rock' although I didn't know it was called that.

Now I believe in NO CONTACT all the way.

And in March 2022, 10 years after we were in court, the exBFF contacted me on instagram - wanting to be friends with me. She misses me. She left me her phone number.

Yeah I called her - told her in no uncertain terms I wanted nothing to do with her. She has not contacted me since. She got the message. I'm not putting up that BS ever again.