When an empath finally reaches their limit with a narcissist - IT'S DONE.

And there's no turning back.
Both Joan/Doris and the exBFF are OUT of my life and will NEVER be in it again.

 

Happy Holidays December 2025

Haven't been here since August - my trusty workhorse Dell Latitude laptop died. And I had to get a new laptop. It's a nice one a Dell Inspiron with twice the memory of the old one. 
But it has Windows 11. -- I was just getting used to Windows 10 and they throw this one at me - with a lot of changes to navigate.  And since I had to scramble in getting things off the old laptop, I've got folders of stuff that have to be organized. 

John and I don't do Christmas. He's a 'lapsed Catholic' and I'm a Neo Pagan, Wiccan, and Witch. I do Yule and John just goes along for the ride.

But I still get 'Christmas cards' from a couple of cousins of mine. And this year, my cousin Cindy sent me this one:

She knows how I like to color things and her message inside the card read "Tis the season to bust out a box of crayons."

I don't use crayons. I use colored pencils. And I really haven't had much time to do any coloring, as I've been busy in several projects around the house. So for the past few days I'd been scrambling getting things done around the house so that on Christmas Day I could concentrate on coloring this card.

Here's the finished picture:

Hope you enjoyed your holidays, which ever one you celebrated.

My boundary. I will help. But I can't fix. If you can't or won't do the necessary work - that's on you.

 

Truth

 

"She changed," they complained. Yeah, I did. I stopped being a doormat.

 

What caused me to turn my back on Joan/Doris and the exBBF - I closed the door on both of them.

 

Narcissists get angry when you end a relationship with them. Be prepared.

Absolutely true.

The moment I stood up and told the Nameless One and the exBFF that I was no longer their doormat -- the 'real' abuse began.

The Nameless One embarked on a 23 year voyage of revenge against me. When I put my foot down with the exBFF, she became 'offended' and stooped to using some of The Nameless One's tactics against me. 

I'm not entirely sure what happened. Both of them had called my job to get me fired in 2012. My employer investigated me and found me innocent, but still called me down to the office to discuss it with me. I told them that I was tired of being called down. I asked for their legal help, they 'didn't want to get involved." I said 'well, what do you want me to do? I can't make them stop. I haul them into court and the charges get dismissed. You're the ones with the legal team." I also told them that if they called again, not to bother me with it. "Investigate me all you want. Just leave me out of it."

Between 2013 and 2015, the year I retired, I never heard another word from either The Nameless One, or the exBFF. It seemed like they both dropped off the face of the earth. I can't imagine that either of them suddenly developed a conscious and decided to leave me alone. I suspect, but can't prove - that one or both - did call my job again - and got told by my employer to knock it off.. Maybe even got hauled into court by my employer. All I know is: ALL HARASSMENT SUDDENLY STOPPED. And of course I retired in 2015, so I took away their toy.

And in 2023, when the exBFF contacted me on instagram, saying she wanted to be friends again - I sent her packing. Haven't heard a word from her since. 

I want nothing to do with either of them. They are toxic idiots.

 

Some people aren't sorry for what they did. They're only sorry that you weren't fooled.

 

Coloring page for Lughnasadh

 

I was too hot to do any kind of housework today. So I decided to do some coloring. Since the Sabbat Lughnasadh - First Harvest - will be on Friday, August 1, I chose this one to do.

art by Amy Cesari

The most dangerous anger -

The most dangerous anger -- because it will be the last.
A door will close that will not be opened again.
And you can bet you will have NO relationship with them ever again. 

 

When a good heart is hurt - they might not react right away, but sooner or later - they will ...

 When you hurt someone with a good heart, they won’t always fight back or make a fuss. They’ll bear the pain in silence, turning it over in their mind, trying to make sense of it without adding to the hurt. 

But slowly, they’ll pull away. No dramatic farewell, no angry outburst—just quiet withdrawal. They won’t become cruel, but they’ll stop letting you in. And once their trust is shattered, it’s not easily repaired. 

That’s how you lose them; not the moment they walk away, but the moment they stop believing. Because when a kind heart lets go, it’s never out of spite.. It’s simply because they’ve reached their limit. 

That’s how it was with the exBFF - I gave my all for her. Delivered her to detox at her request - after spending the night with her to make sure she was safe after doing drugs. (and calling in sick to my job). 

She got into detox and counseling, and backtracked. I kinda felt let down. I used my sick time from work, and my own personal time for her. Still - I tried to be patient, until she was yakking about her ‘friends’ who were keeping her in that lifestyle. I let her know if she was serious about getting off the drugs, she had to ditch those people. She got ‘offended” - claimed I insulted her friends. 

I was like, ‘okay fine. Associate with them, but not with me.” I withdrew. I rarely picked up the phone when the caller ID said it was her. Nor did I return her calls. BUT she still had her car in my name for cheaper insurance. 

Then one day I did pick up and she was drunk- in the afternoon, ranting and raving about her boyfriend. And she let something slip -- her boyfriend’s car was in her son’s name. 

Wait a minute - you have your car in MY name, but your boyfriend has his car in your son’s name - and month after month, you can’t be adult enough to get a money order, slap a stamp on an envelope and mail the payment in on time? -- She would drop the cash off at my house - and I would send a check in. One day she ran up on my porch and dropped the money off and then ran off - she had a friend waiting in the car. She took off before I could say anything. 

The next day I had to take 2 buses downtown to deposit the cash in my checking account at the credit union to pay the bill.

Yes - TWO BUSES.  I didn’t have a car at the time. But she did. She didn’t bother to ask if I needed a ride to the credit union. She never bothered to take me grocery shopping - I lugged my groceries home on the bus. -- But a year earlier, when I had a car, and she didn’t - I actually gave her the keys and let her take my car for the day. 

Well, back to her drunken phone call - she was drunk, so I knew it was useless to say anything. But I called her up a few days later and told her she had 30 days to get her car out of my name. And to give me the license plates so I could turn them into the DMV.  She was shocked that I finally found my voice and laid into her. - Actually I didn’t - I spoke calmly. I told her what she had revealed to me and I wasn’t going to be taken advantage anymore.

ONE WEEK LATER - she came to my house and gave me papers and license plate. I didn’t let her in the house. I kept her on the porch. I said ‘thank you.’ and closed the door.

That was the end for me.

Of course it wasn’t the end for her - she began harassing me on facebook and finally resorted to calling my job to get me fired. 

I sent her a letter of intervention, which she didn’t like - I told her truths she didn’t want to hear. AND she had the gall to charge me with harassment. 

We get to court and she’s acting like a lunatic - screaming, yelling.

The judge, who I found out later was sympathetic to addicts - gave ME a restraining order - ordering ME to stay away from HER! -- And I saw in his hands, MY letter to her - which included a printout of a facebook post of her admitting to my niece that she called my job. - The judge had proof that SHE broke the law - but punished ME. 

Well, what the hell. If I was ordered to stay away from her, fine - just as long as she stayed away from me. It was unfair, but it did the trick - it got her away from me. 

But then 10 years later - she contacts me on instagram, wanting to me friends with me - she misses me. She left me her phone number. I called it - left a voice mail - told her to get lost. I wanted nothing to do with her - and I told her to fuck off. 

It’s been 3 years since I left that voice mail - I haven’t heard from her. GOOD. 

She shattered our friendship. She betrayed my trust. She tried to get me fired from my job. She WANTED me to lose my income, knowing I was paying a mortgage.

If I lost my job, I would have lost my home, my future social security earnings, and my pension. 

There was no risk of me losing my job -- she said I was printing out her medical records - and my employer, did investigate me. They tracked every keystroke I did - and knew I was innocent. 

My job was not in danger -- but it was what she WANTED to happen to me. As I said, she WANTED me to lose my income. Once trust is broken - it cannot be repaired.