When you hurt someone with a good heart, they won’t always fight back or make a fuss. They’ll bear the pain in silence, turning it over in their mind, trying to make sense of it without adding to the hurt.
But slowly, they’ll pull away. No dramatic farewell, no angry outburst—just quiet withdrawal. They won’t become cruel, but they’ll stop letting you in. And once their trust is shattered, it’s not easily repaired.
That’s how you lose them; not the moment they walk away, but the moment they stop believing. Because when a kind heart lets go, it’s never out of spite.. It’s simply because they’ve reached their limit.
That’s how it was with the exBFF - I gave my all for her. Delivered her to detox at her request - after spending the night with her to make sure she was safe after doing drugs. (and calling in sick to my job).
She got into detox and counseling, and backtracked. I kinda felt let down. I used my sick time from work, and my own personal time for her. Still - I tried to be patient, until she was yakking about her ‘friends’ who were keeping her in that lifestyle. I let her know if she was serious about getting off the drugs, she had to ditch those people. She got ‘offended” - claimed I insulted her friends.
I was like, ‘okay fine. Associate with them, but not with me.” I withdrew. I rarely picked up the phone when the caller ID said it was her. Nor did I return her calls. BUT she still had her car in my name for cheaper insurance.
Then one day I did pick up and she was drunk- in the afternoon, ranting and raving about her boyfriend. And she let something slip -- her boyfriend’s car was in her son’s name.
Wait a minute - you have your car in MY name, but your boyfriend has his car in your son’s name - and month after month, you can’t be adult enough to get a money order, slap a stamp on an envelope and mail the payment in on time? -- She would drop the cash off at my house - and I would send a check in. One day she ran up on my porch and dropped the money off and then ran off - she had a friend waiting in the car. She took off before I could say anything.
The next day I had
to take 2 buses downtown to deposit the cash in my checking account at the
credit union to pay the bill.
Yes - TWO BUSES. I didn’t have a car at the time. But she did. She didn’t bother to ask if I needed a ride to the credit union. She never bothered to take me grocery shopping - I lugged my groceries home on the bus. -- But a year earlier, when I had a car, and she didn’t - I actually gave her the keys and let her take my car for the day.
Well, back to her drunken phone call - she was drunk, so I knew it was useless to say anything. But I called her up a few days later and told her she had 30 days to get her car out of my name. And to give me the license plates so I could turn them into the DMV. She was shocked that I finally found my voice and laid into her. - Actually I didn’t - I spoke calmly. I told her what she had revealed to me and I wasn’t going to be taken advantage anymore.
ONE WEEK LATER - she came to my house and gave me papers and license plate. I didn’t let her in the house. I kept her on the porch. I said ‘thank you.’ and closed the door.
That was the end
for me.
Of course it wasn’t the end for her - she began harassing me on facebook and finally resorted to calling my job to get me fired.
I sent her a letter of intervention, which she didn’t like - I told her truths she didn’t want to hear. AND she had the gall to charge me with harassment.
We get to court
and she’s acting like a lunatic - screaming, yelling.
The judge, who I found out later was sympathetic to addicts - gave ME a restraining order - ordering ME to stay away from HER! -- And I saw in his hands, MY letter to her - which included a printout of a facebook post of her admitting to my niece that she called my job. - The judge had proof that SHE broke the law - but punished ME.
Well, what the hell. If I was ordered to stay away from her, fine - just as long as she stayed away from me. It was unfair, but it did the trick - it got her away from me.
But then 10 years later - she contacts me on instagram, wanting to me friends with me - she misses me. She left me her phone number. I called it - left a voice mail - told her to get lost. I wanted nothing to do with her - and I told her to fuck off.
It’s been 3 years since I left that voice mail - I haven’t heard from her. GOOD.
She shattered our
friendship. She betrayed my trust. She tried to get me fired from my job. She
WANTED me to lose my income, knowing I was paying a mortgage.
If I lost my job, I would have lost my home, my future social security earnings, and my pension.
There was no risk of me losing my job -- she said I was printing out her medical records - and my employer, did investigate me. They tracked every keystroke I did - and knew I was innocent.
My job was not in
danger -- but it was what she WANTED to happen to me. As I said, she WANTED me
to lose my income. Once trust is broken - it cannot be repaired.
No comments:
Post a Comment