Thursday, February 8, 2018

What’s Love Got to Do With It? -- It has EVERYTHING to do with it.


What’s Love Got to Do With It? -- It has EVERYTHING to do with it.

So as it happens, a anti-adoption person who writes for Huffington and who was pissed when my sister Gert McQueen commented on her articles and wrote a blog post on her old blog suffered some bad luck while on a trip to New Zealand. She took a ‘trip’ and broke her ankle - and I guess her other ankle was sprained. So she’s now stuck in a hospital in NZ and trying to line up rehab for when she returns home to the United States. -- I’ve never been one to feel happy over someone’s ill health, but I can recognize karma slapping someone in their face.

But that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about Ms. M.R.’s saying she needs to ‘re-home’ her cat - because now that she will essentially be disabled, she can no longer care for him properly and it wouldn’t be fair to him.

What? She is throwing that cat out like garbage!!! How dare she? Does she not know the trauma she will be putting that cat through? He has to forget about the only home he’s ever known, the only human parent he’s only known, and has to go a new home, new human parents, perhaps have his name changed, have his identity stripped away from him?

Why is it all right to do that to a cat, but bitch when something similar happens to human babies? Now, now, don’t give me that “a cat is an animal, not a person.” How do you know? Cats have emotions too.

So let’s take a look at a human baby born to a young unwed mother. She had birth control, but it failed. She doesn’t have any family to rely on to help her with her baby. She has a job - minimum wage. How will she work and take care of a child at the same time? Maybe she also is handicapped - perhaps she has MS and is working as a cashier in a grocery store a few hours a day. She is in a wheelchair and finds it difficult to manuever around her house let alone run after a toddler.

Thinking down the road as she awaits the birth of her child, she thinks “perhaps I should give the child up for adoption, so he can have a better chance at life than I could give him.”

So if Ms. M.R. can see the need to give her cat to another home -- she should be able to see why sometimes adoption of human babies occurs.

So getting back to cats and emotions. In October 2016, a dear friend of mine had to move and her new landlord wouldn’t allow pets. I agreed to take her cat Mahmi. It was an unfortunate occurance and poor Mahmi! She was so scared when she came to my house. --  “Where is my human mom? Why am I here in this strange house? Who are these humans? I don’t know them. I want to go home.”

Mahmi hid behind the couch for a week. She did let me pet her - but I had to reach down behind the couch to do it. She only came out in the middle of the night to eat and use the litter box when John and I were in bed. I put out her toys, she wouldn’t play with them. I would try to get her to come out -- “come here sweetheart, no one’s going to hurt you.”

A week after she came to my house - I went to house and dog sit for my cousin who went to Florida for vacation. Meanwhile, my husband John made sure Mahmi had food and water. He told me the cat wouldn’t come out. My cousin only lives just over a mile from me, so I came home and Mahmi heard my voice and started to come out from behind the couch - but then she saw John and hid again.

When my cousin returned from Florida and I came home, and Mahmi heard my voice, she poked her head out - “Come here sweetie,” I said. She still wouldn’t come out. It took me another week to get her out. I kept calling her ‘sweetie,’ and I accidentaly changed her name - she would never come to me when I called her Mahmi - but would come when I called her Sweetie. (her identity was changed).

Another month goes by and now Sweetie is running around, playing, sitting on my lap when I’m lounging on my couch. I discover she loves yogurt. I always have some yogurt when I’m watching Young and the Restless and we develop a routine. She sits on the arm of the couch near me while I’m having my yogurt. When I’m done, I give her a little bit on the spoon. She licks the spoon clean, then licks the container clean. Then she settles down on my lap.She purrs. She likes when I pick her up and snuggle her. I smack my lips with kisses for her. Then I notice she’s putting her face in my ear and making little smacking noises!!!!

I’ve been a human parent for furbabies continuously from 1979 to 2013. In 1979 I had a kitty named Gigi, then in 1982 I got another cat from my friend John (he who is now my husband). Gigi went to kitty heaven in 1983, but Francois was with me until 1992. John had 3 cats - Renaissance, Morris and PeeWee - Morris and PeeWee were daughters of mama Renaissance. Francois was Morris’ son. In 1987 John and I moved in together (we got married in 2002). So Francois was re-united with his mom, sister, and grandma. lol.

Morris had a litter of kittens one week after we moved. Try setting up a new house with 4 cats, and new kittens underfoot! It wasn’t easy. Then PeeWee had a litter. We found homes for them. A year later -- more kittens. We kept one of Morris’ - a beautiful black kitty we named Samantha. A year later - Samantha was pregnant and we kept one of her kittens, Muffy. I started squirreling money away. By this time, Rennaisance had gone to kitty heaven (1988). As soon as we had enough money, we got Samantha spayed, then we got PeeWee and Muffy spayed. We didn’t bother with Morris, because she was getting old and in early 1990, she too went to kitty heaven, followed by Francois in early 1992, leaving us with Samantha, PeeWee, and Muffy.

In 1993, John brought home a beautiful dog - a three year old Siberian Husky named Brandy. The cats hated her. lol. PeeWee the Bitch walked up to the dog and POW! slapped her right in the snout! oh dear. Well, that 65 pound Husky/Malamute acquiesed to the 9 pound Alpha dog, er, cat.

For a surprise birthday present in August 1996, John brought me two kittens - a guy he worked for had a cat who had kittens and was looking for homes for them. There was a boy and a girl, whom I named Isis and Pippin. Unfortunately Isis was sick and at 6 months old, had to be put down. PeeWee followed her shortly afterward.

Pippin and Samantha didn’t really get along - Samantha still didn’t like the dog, but Pippin loved her. Brandy went to puppy heaven in 2002 and Samantha went to kitty heaven in 2004.

We had Pippin for another 9 years, when at the age of 17, he too had to be put down. I was so heartbroken. In 2013, for the first time since 1979, I had no fur-babies! I didn’t want any more. But a year later, I found myself thinking about getting a couple of new kitties. But I never seriously went ahead with it. Then Mahmi/Sweetie came into my life.

And I fell in love with her. And she with me. But then just one year later, Mahmi/Sweetie became ill. I called my friend, Mahmi/Sweetie’s mom, and together we took her to be put down.

Love is love. Why can’t people see that? John and I loved ALL our fur-babies and I’m sure Ms. M.R. loves her cat and I’m sure he loves her. But she, stuck in a hospital in New Zealand, and thinking practically, made the painful decision that she must re-home her cat.

And that happens to humans as well. And for all those adoptees out there dissing infertile women -- how heartless they are. I happen to be an infertile woman. It took me years of trying with my first husband to get pregnant, only to lose my son through miscarriage in June 1985. To me, and many other pet parents, those fur-babies ARE our children. It’s called LOVE. And yep - if 30 years ago, if I had the option and ability to adopt a human child after I lost my son - I would have and I don’t give a damn what any anti-adoption person thinks about that.

Sweetie/Mahmi -- Auntie Ruth loved you very much.

2 comments:

gert mcqueen said...

very good post! you have quite a long history of fur-babies!
You have made many great points regarding what happens when an animal is re-homed or adopted, or being a rescue animal. It is not unlike the various emotional, practical and physical concerns that are faced with parents who give up children or when they adopt children.

Regardless of one's 'opinion' on adoption...it really isn't ANOTHER'S business what another does or does not do in any stage of adoption. It's called PERSONAL CHOICE/DECISION.

I adopted my son in step-parent adoption. I was condemned for doing so by my 'reunited' birth sibling! I note that that person NEVER paid a cent for the care and feeding of MY CHILD. I also note that all those anti-adoption activists have NEVER been in my family nor KNOW the TRUTH of my life yet all condemn me.

Shame shame shame that MR has to re-home (a fancy name for giving her away) her fur-baby, she certainly isn't considering the damage/trauma being done to that living being!




LadyMoondancer's Realm said...

Gert makes excellent points.Especially when it comes to someone's personal choices and decisions concerning their lives. It's nobody else's business or right to pass judgment on another person's life choices.
As a child growing up in foster home and other place, I well knew the upheaval of moving around can do. That is why when I agreed to take in Mahmi/Sweetie, I did my best to make the transition as easy as I could for her. And it wasn't difficult. John and I are quiet people, and I took care that there were no extra-loud noises around her. And I noticed that even when she felt comfortable in her new home, she didn't like a lot of loud (noises.

I feel that M.R. and others like her have a lot of damn nerve condemning people who choose to place a child for adoption and those who choose to adopt those children -- yet are guilty of the same of thing - as M.R. is in placing her cat in a new home.

M.R. did the right thing for her cat. My friend and I did the right thing for Mahmi/Sweetie, and for some people, relinquishing a child for adoption, and for others adopting a child may be the right thing for their particular situation.
---Ruth (LadyMoondancer)