I had made some journal entries concerning the exBFF. I will post them here.
Here is one from from my journal - January 2012. I didn’t put down the exact date.
The journal entry:
Then this morning, another witchy friend had posted a Rhyme Cast warning someone fucking with him, so I wrote the following on facebook:
If I have a repeat of early Sunday morn
some broad will wish she'd never been born.
Having previously sent a polite private fb email
this witch felt no need to tell another tale.
4,5,6 telephone calls to this busy (and sick) witch
so I unleashed my anger to the bitch.
The lesson here is clearly told:
with an angry witch, ye should not be so bold.
she hasn't called again. I am seriously thinking of getting the phone number changed if she does.
The background: one Saturday night, approximately 11:30, I was sick with a cold and busy scanning some papers into my computer and my phone rang. It was F. the exBFF. She left a surly message on the answering machine: “Why’d you take me off your facebook?”
Now I had taken her off my facebook in November 2010. And I told her why in an email. I had actually avoided her since 2005, because of her
shenanigans, (told elsewhere in this blog). I bumped into her in a grocery store September 2010, and then went to her house and we a good talk. She said she was aware that she had pushed friends away because of her drug usage.
I hoped our friendship could continue.
Two months later, my 2 older sisters and I were having an email discussion about Social Security and Social Security Disability. We were confused about the difference between the
two. I decided to forward our email to both my one sister’s daughter and the exBFF because both had been on Social Services in the past, and they might know the answers to our questions.
The exBFF got offended and
emailed me back, saying I was accusing her of being a welfare queen. And she lives very well, thank you very much. I explained why I included her in a PRIVATE EMAIL FAMILY discussion, because I considered her FAMILY and my sisters and I were using our PRIVATE email. I went on to explain that after our talk in September, I was hopeful our friendship could continue, but I was wrong. Here it was only 2 months later, and she’s taking things the wrong way, getting angry over nothing, accusing me of something
I had no intention of.
I said to myself, “This isn’t going to work, I’m not going through this nonsense again. She hasn’t changed. She’s still narcissistic and argumentative.”
I told her that in my response to her email. And informed her that I now considered our friendship completely dead and I was removing her
from my facebook. (which I did. I removed her from my friends list, but did not block her - which I wish I had done, because she sent me a couple of very nasty rotten posts on facebook a few months later).
Well, imagine my surprise over a year later, she’s calling me on the phone, demanding to know why I removed her from my facebook!!! (she has memory problems because of her 'self medicating.').
In
the course of next 3 hours, she called 5 more times. I picked up the phone one time and told her to stop calling me, and hung up. After the 4th call, I picked up the phone and said, “I’m reporting you to the phone
company.” and hung up. She called 2 more times. The last time she called I didn’t say anything, I put the receiver on the paper tray of my scanner/printer and let her listen to the machine as I continued scanning things.
I did call the phone company that Monday morning, reported her, and had my phone number changed.
So that’s the background of this particular journal entry, obviously written before I called the phone company.
I caught the exBFF in many lies. I didn't call her out because I was so drained. She was suffocating me.
A true narcissist, everything was always about her. As soon as I picked up the phone, the conversation immediately was about her. She wouldn't even ask me how I or my hubby was!
One day she caught me in the right mood and I let her have it. The next time she called, she made a point to ask how I was doing - but the words were so foreign to her, I could tell she was forcing herself to say them.
And her one big lie that I finally confronted her on - she blurted it out when she was mad at her boyfriend. She was drunk, and didn't realize what she said. I waited a couple of days and called her back. When I ascertained she was sober, I let her have it.
It involved her car, that was in my name so she could save $$ on insurance. I did not appreciate the lie I caught her in, and I told her "you have 30 days to get your car out of my name. At the end of 30 days, I am canceling the registration and insurance."
She complied in one week - because she knew, that although I rarely spoke up, when I did speak up - I wasn't fooling around.
absolutely.
I've often examined my relationships with The Nameless One and the exBFF and outside of them being capable of pure evil and nastiness, a lot of things they did to me were 'punishment' for me growing in certain areas.
For example, in the late 70's the exBFF and I both said we wanted to learn belly dancing. In March of 1980, I saw an advertisement for a short beginner's class in belly dancing. I signed up right away. She had excuses.
By 1985 I had become a professional belly dancer - not on par with some of the world's 'Belly Dance Superstars' - but pretty damn good in my own right.
The exBFF NEVER ONCE came to see me in ANY of my performances - even those that were free at public festivals/carnivals.
Jealousy and envy are strong motivators for dirty tricks and backstabbing.
true. But the Tough Love comes in when you set boundaries, and they cross the line.
Then you - have to tell them - it's either me, or your demons. Cos I won't have your demons stealing from me, lying to me, disrespecting me.
Then be prepared to be further disrespected as they accuse you of throwing them under the bus, and possible retribution for your decision.
Stand firm. You don't have to put up with their demons or their disrespect.
At her request, I hand delivered the exBFF to detox. She went for counseling for several weeks. I thought she was doing good. Then she called me up one afternoon, drunk. So she took a backslide. But then I caught her in a lie - when she was drunk and rambling on the phone. That, and the fact that she had stolen pain pills from my bathroom, told me that I could not have her in my life.
She started leaving nasty and nonsensical posts and messages to me on facebook. This went on for several months, then the day after my father's funeral, she called me on the phone and trashed him. I hung up on her. She called me one night - 6 times - demanding to know why I took her off my facebook. She called my job 2 days later and lied about me - trying to get me fired. She even left a message on my niece's facebook admitting to calling my job.
I sent her a letter of intervention - trying to get her to see what she was doing to herself - and how she had destroyed our friendship. I told her to get off the drugs, make better friends (who weren't keeping her in the bottle and on the drugs) and to stop her nearly 30 year habit of going after married/attached men and getting her heart broken or just being a nasty predatory female, out to destroy other women's happiness. I told her in my letter to stay away from me.
She raised crocodile tears and pressed harassment charges on me and then threatened me in court, was tossed out - screaming like an insane person. After our initial shock and anger at her outburst - my husband and I, later at home, cried. A beloved friend - comes to court dressed as a two-bit ho, screaming like an insane person, threatening me, had to be removed from the courtroom.
Still, the judge unfairly came down on ME. Gave me a restraining order - telling me to stay away from her. Fine. it was unfair. But, considering this was 2012, and I'd been trying to get her out of MY life from 2005 - I said "so what? I can certainly abide by the court's decision and stay away from her - and she'd better stay away from me."
TEN YEARS LATER - MARCH 2022 - she contacts me on Instagram - says she misses me and my husband, wants to be my friend. Leaves me her phone number. I call it and left her a voice mail and I left her a message on Instagram -- FRIENDS WITH YOU? OH HELL NO!!! LEAVE ME ALONE.
I got one thing and one thing only to say to Francine M. after having 10 years of peace and quiet without her:
STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME AND MY HUSBAND. WE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN. OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS DESTROYED BY YOU AND YOU ALONE -- WELL, YOU AND YOUR FUCKING DRUGS AND BOOZE. GO TO HELL.
CONTACT ME AGAIN - COME BY MY HOUSE - I WILL GO TO THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY AND PRESS CHARGES OF STALKING AGAINST YOU.
AND YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AWFUL SILLY - YOU GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST SOMEONE, AND THEN 10 YEARS LATER YOU WANT TO REUNITE WITH THEM? DUMBASS.
